Why Modern Life Doesn't Make Us Happy, and How to Fix It with Dr. William von Hippel

Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson

Life today is safer and more comfortable than ever before, so why do so many people feel unhappy, lonely, and anxious? Forrest talks with evolutionary psychologist Dr. William von Hippel about this paradox in light of our two core needs: autonomy and connection. He argues that modern life has pushed us too far in the direction of autonomy, and that we need to reclaim connection in order to find happiness.

They discuss how our evolutionary past shaped our needs for autonomy and connection, the tension between them, and why social connection matters so much for our well-being. They also touch on gender and cultural differences, common misunderstandings about evolutionary psychology, and what people can do to create more balanced and connected lives today.

About our Guest: Dr. William von Hippel is an evolutionary psychologist and former professor at the University of Queensland. He has authored over 150 scientific publications including his books The Social Leap and The Social Paradox.

Key Topics:

0:00: Why hasn’t modern life made us happier?

3:20: The evolution of autonomy and connection

10:15: How modern life favors autonomy over connection

18:10: “Sad success stories,” and the cost of competence

20:00: Competence vs warmth as social signals

26:00: Evolutionary mismatch, and its impact on well-being

29:00: How to understand evolutionary psychology

34:00: Evolved gender differences in autonomy and connection

42:00: Balancing sociocultural and evolutionary differences

49:00: What do those gender differences look like in practice?

55:50: Finding a healthy balance between autonomy and connection

1:08:55: Recap

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