People Pleasing and the Fawn Response with Meg Josephson

Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson

Forrest and therapist Meg Josephson explore the fawn response, a survival strategy where safety is sought by pleasing other people. They discuss how fawning can start as self-protection in childhood, but later morph into overthinking, hypervigilance, and self-abandonment. Meg shares her own experience, including how fawning creates resentment and makes it difficult to find a healthy relationship or figure out your authentic needs. Topics include becoming aware of unconscious habits, building distress tolerance, grief, self-compassion, healthy boundaries, and speaking up for ourselves.

About our Guest: Meg Josephson is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and author of the new book Are You Mad at Me?

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:18: Self-sabotage as self-protection

4:01: Bringing the unconscious fawn response into awareness

9:51: Silencing wants and needs, conflict avoidance, and resentment

14:33: Rediscovering wants and needs after people pleasing

18:05: The healing arc: grief, anger, and relationship

25:30: Viewing people pleasing as a “part” rather than an identity

30:11: Nice vs. compassionate

51:36: Hypervigilance and the NICER practice

57:22: Authenticity as “uncovering” rather than “fixing”

1:03:02: Recap

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