ADHD Hates Structure, Loves Routine w/Xai Yang (@xaidy_nyc) | Firesides Ep. 06

Attention Different | Adulting with ADHD

💡 Radical acceptance starts with self-love.
What would change if you stopped fighting your ADHD and began accepting it as part of who you are?

In this Fireside Chat, we sit down with Xai Yang, a licensed social worker, advocate, and late-diagnosed ADHDer, who shares his journey from shame and stigma to building a life rooted in radical acceptance. From growing up in a Hmong American community where mental health carried heavy taboos, to finally receiving a diagnosis in 2018, Sai opens up about the long road toward self-acceptance, healing, and advocacy.

🌲This conversation explores the New Year’s tension between resolutions, routines, and relapse, and how ADHD adults can break cycles of shame by embracing identity, compassion, and community.

✨ Highlights ✨

• Why ADHD “loves structure but hates routine” and what to do about it.
• How cultural stigma and late diagnosis shape ADHD identity.
• The concept of “macro invalidation” and how reframing it with affirmations can shift self-talk.
• Why are identity-based habits (from Atomic Habits) more powerful than quick fixes?
• How radical acceptance and healing can turn ADHD into a tool for connection and advocacy.

This episode is for anyone who’s ever felt shame for their ADHD or wondered what true self-acceptance really looks like.

📺 Watch the full Fireside Chat now on Attention Different YouTube:
👉 youtube.com/@attentiondifferent

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We are Attention DIFFERENT not DEFICIT An advocacy and edutainment podcast centered on radical acceptance and neurodiveristy. Attention Different aims to de-stigmatize and build community by exploring the intricacies of living life and "adulting" with ADHD in the modern world. We periodically feature experts, special guests and influencers in the ADHD community.
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