EP 557: Avoidant Isn’t a Dirty Word: How Blame Blocks Healing and Why You Shouldn’t Try to “Get Them Back”

Let’s Get Vulnerable: Relationship and Dating Advice

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I’m fired up about this one. There’s so much noise online about avoidant attachment—so many posts shaming people for needing space or teaching you how to “get the avoidant back.” And honestly? It’s damaging. In this episode, I’m breaking down what avoidant attachment really is, where it comes from, and how blame blocks healing—for everyone.

Avoidant attachment isn’t the villain. It’s a response to deep pain, often from early relational trauma. And when we reduce people to labels or chase them to validate our own wounds, we miss the bigger picture. If you’ve ever felt hurt by someone with avoidant patterns—or if that’s you—this episode will shift your perspective and bring some compassion into the healing process.

Three Key Takeaways:

• Avoidant behaviors are rooted in past trauma, not personal rejection—they’re about survival, not a lack of love.
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• Secure attachment is something we learn—and modeling it (instead of blaming or chasing) is how we create safety and change.
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• Online advice that triggers urgency or shame is often just manipulation in disguise—real healing means tuning into your own emotions, not trying to control someone else’s.

Ready to break the cycle for good?

If you’re done with blame, confusion, and relationships that leave you feeling empty, apply now to the Empowered.Secure.Loved. Relationship Program. Inside the ESL program, you’ll get the tools, support, and healing you need to become securely attached and attract the kind of love you truly deserve.

Apply to the E.S.L. Program Here