Why We Numb: Self-Sabotage, Coping Strategies, and "Bad" Habits

You Make Sense

Do you find yourself using things to cope like doom scrolling, eating late at night, or drinking in excess? If so, you’re not alone. This episode unpacks the science behind why we numb and engage in “bad” habits. Whether it’s excessive social media, food, sex, alcohol, or work, these are all intelligent survival responses to unresolved trauma or pain.

You’ll learn how to tell the difference between coping strategies and regulating resources, why you can’t just “stop” addictive behaviors, and the steps to begin bringing regulation to your nervous system. Sarah also shares her personal journey of healing from OCD, over-eating, and workaholism, proving that true freedom comes from befriending — not battling — your nervous system and protective parts.

Episode Highlights

[00:00] The truth about coping strategies, and why we all use them
[02:11] The role trauma plays in our need to numb
[03:12] Why shame perpetuates the coping cycle
[05:27] How society normalizes certain numbing behaviors
[09:29] You can’t just “stop” a coping behavior
[10:52] Coping strategies from a Parts Work lens
[15:54] Why battling your protective parts never works
[21:04] How to replace coping with regulating resources
[24:48] Question 1 - Why quitting smoking can feel worse before it feels better

[30:24] Question 2 - Why does my addiction cause more dysregulation?

[43:28] Question 3 - Am I using coffee to regulate or cope?

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Quotes:

“You can’t battle a protector. They will always win because they love your vulnerable part too much to stop.” - Sarah Baldwin [0:14:14]

“Forward doesn’t always look like forward in healing. Sometimes it looks like finally facing what’s been waiting to be held.” - Sarah Baldwin [0:29:47]