436: Facing Horrific Family Trauma & Finding Joy After Divorce

The Hardcore Self-Help Podcast with Duff the Psych

In this episode, Dr. Duff takes on two powerful listener questions in a raw and compassionate Q&A format.

The first question comes from a survivor of extensive childhood abuse, religious trauma, and complex family dynamics, who is wrestling with the decision of whether or not to publish a deeply personal memoir. Dr. Duff dives into the emotional, psychological, and ethical layers of this situation, offering validation, insight, and a heartfelt reminder that healing and storytelling can be acts of empowerment.

The second question comes from a newly single parent facing feelings of loneliness and hopelessness after a recent divorce. After a disappointing family trip, they wonder if happiness is still possible in this new chapter of life. Dr. Duff breaks down the process of emotional adjustment, the importance of realistic expectations, and how small steps can lead to renewed hope and connection.

As always, this episode is filled with empathy, nuance, and practical encouragement for anyone going through dark or uncertain times.

Key Discussion Points

• The complexities of publishing a memoir about trauma and abuse

• Understanding the impact of complex PTSD and generational trauma

• Navigating family threats and estrangement with personal boundaries

• Grieving the loss of an idealized future after divorce

• Why happiness doesn’t have to look how you thought it would

• Tips for finding support and resilience as a single parent

• The value of community, therapy, and chosen family

Timestamps

00:00 – Intro and personal update 03:00 – Content warning for the first question 04:05 – Listener story: Surviving severe childhood abuse and family rejection 07:00 – Dr. Duff reflects on complex PTSD and trauma recovery 08:30 – The power of isolation in abusive systems 10:00 – Complicated dynamics with the listener’s mother 11:30 – Should I publish my book about my trauma? 13:00 – Weighing the risks and benefits of publishing under a pseudonym 14:30 – Standing in your truth despite family pushback 15:00 – Listener story: Facing loneliness and doubt after divorce 16:30 – Grieving the version of life you hoped for 18:00 – Family disappointment and changing dynamics 19:30 – The importance of time and realistic expectations 21:00 – Children often remember things differently than we expect 22:00 – Challenging fatalistic thoughts about the future 23:30 – Modeling resilience and authenticity for your kids 24:30 – Final thoughts and encouragement

Mentioned in This Episode

• Episode 130: Complex PTSD – What It Is and How to Recover

• YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@duffthepsych

• More mental health content at: https://www.duffthepsych.com

Submit a Question

Have a question you'd like answered on the show? Reach out any time:

📧 Email: [email protected] 🌐 Website: duffthepsych.com 📷 Instagram: instagram.com/duffthepsych 📺 YouTube: youtube.com/@duffthepsych

Support the Show

If you’ve gotten something out of the podcast and haven’t left a review yet, now’s a perfect time—especially if you’re an Apple Podcasts listener. We're close to hitting 1,000 reviews, and every one helps others find the show and supports the mission of accessible mental health content.