There’s enough criticism in the world without targeting yourself. Jess Glynne’s 2015 song, “Don’t Be So Hard On Yourself” expresses this nicely. To offer feedback on my podcast, please write to: relaxingwithrob@gmail.comبقلم Rob Sepich

You might be less anxious if you recalibrate your stress meter and consider some problems as simply “inconveniences.” Here’s a non-affiliate link to Robert Fulghum’s book that inspired today’s topic. I also encourage you to support local booksellers and borrow from your public library.بقلم Rob Sepich

A simple but challenging experiment could produce gratitude in the short term and creativity in the long term.بقلم Rob Sepich

Aging may be inevitable, but holding a negative stereotype about it is not. Research from Harvard psychologist Ellen J. Langer shows that we can actually turn the clock back in surprising ways through shifts in our expectations. Here’s a non-affiliate link to Langer’s book on mindful health.بقلم Rob Sepich

It’s normal to worry about others’ opinions of you, but it’s not necessary. Two ways to break free from this are: 1) desensitize yourself by assuming that it’s always going to happen; and 2) recognize that their critiques are directed at your “social self,” not your “essential self.” Here’s a non-affiliate Amazon link to Martha Beck’s book that I r…

You don’t have to attend a graduation ceremony to benefit from commencement speakers. Here’s a link to Anne Lamott’s 2003 address at the University of California, Berkeley that explores mindfulness and compassion with humor and insight. I believe that in 2020, her comments have become even more relevant.…

Simplifying our lives can reduce our stress. Here are three suggestions: Donate stuff. Let go of draining relationships. Act as if you already have more than enough. This is a non-affiliate link to Anne Morrow Lindbergh’s book, Gift from the Sea. And here’s a longer passage (pages 17-18) from the 50th anniversary edition: “I want first of all . . .…

Research on happiness from social psychologist Daniel Gilbert can help us in surprising ways. Here’s a non-affiliate link to Gilbert's book on happiness. I also encourage you to support your local booksellers and borrow from your library. And here’s a link to one of Gilbert's TED Talks.بقلم Rob Sepich

In circumstances that don't require snap decisions, consider three ways of tolerating stress in order to improve your judgment. For your convenience, here's a non-affiliate link to the Malcom Gladwell book Blink that I mention.بقلم Rob Sepich

Our beliefs about illness may sometimes help in our healing. These authors share insights on how this occurs: Rilke's book (Stephen Mitchell translation for Kindle) Jerome Groopman's Amazon page Kate Bowler's book The PLOS ONE study on placebos for IBSبقلم Rob Sepich

Although you may not claim full authorship credit for your life, you can freely edit any time. Here's what might help from Donald Miller's book, A million miles in a thousand years: What I learned while editing my life. And if you'd like more, this is a non-affiliate link to his book list.بقلم Rob Sepich

Joy can be sustained in average lives more readily than in exceptional ones. Why not experiment for just a day, and then see how you feel? Here's the link to Michael Neill's article on which this episode is based: https://www.michaelneill.org/mnct829.shtmlبقلم Rob Sepich

During a pandemic, calm rational action is far more effective than fear-based behavior. This Centers for Disease Control site is an excellent source of guidance.بقلم Rob Sepich

بقلم Rob Sepich

Our genetic structure is fixed, but we can influence how genes express themselves, and thus improve our health. To slow (and in some cases reverse) cellular aging: Eat healthfully. Exercise regularly. If you drink, do so in moderation. Quit tobacco products. Reduce stress. Here’s the independent nutrition site I mention: https://nutritionfacts.org …

بقلم Rob Sepich

Learn evidence-based ways to feel happier and more engaged. Although what you do for a living matters, how you do it is even more important. If you would like to learn more, here are some resources: https://positivepsychology.com/what-is-flow/ Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi (1990). Flow: The psychology of optimal experience. New York: Harper Perennial. ht…

Try this guided imagery exercise to help prepare for an important event (e.g., interview, exam, or presentation). For an excellent resource on guided imagery, I recommend this book by Martin Rossman, M.D.بقلم Rob Sepich

بقلم Rob Sepich

بقلم Rob Sepich

بقلم Rob Sepich

Taking that first step toward your goal is great, but it's crucial to continue--in spite of anxiety. We might want a shortcut to success, but there is tremendous value in working through problems.بقلم Rob Sepich

Although music can help you relax, it can do so much more. Experiment to find what works best, but here's a sample of what I like: "Symphony No. 9 in D Minor," Beethoven "Thunder Road," Bruce Springsteen "Still Young," The Cat Empire "Three Little Words," Branford Marsalis "Free It Up," Destra (feat. Sean Paul) "Waiting on the Stage," Machel Montan…

A slight change to an affirmation could strengthen its power. Here's the Michael Jordan interview (1991) on Saturday Night Live. Examples of how you might structure an affirmation: Up until now, I’ve been expecting perfection; now I’m striving for excellence. Up until now, I’ve been scared of down-time; now I’m making it count. Up until now, I’ve b…

Time stress is common, but it can be reduced more easily than you think. Savor what you do have right now instead of wishing you had it all. Focus on priorities--your core values--instead of greater efficiency. Simplify--both in terms of possessions and people. For fast acting relief from stress, try slowing down. —Lily Tomlin Decline unreasonable …

It may require more than a kitten poster for you to "Hang in There!" Tolerating some anxiety to achieve your goals is well worth the effort. To learn from an expert, go to this non-affiliate link about Jennifer Pharr Davis.بقلم Rob Sepich

Having so many choices in our privileged lives can create anxiety. Although this is a totally first world problem, it's still real. I'll suggest a way to help navigate through. And the Barry Schwartz (2004) book I reference is The paradox of choice: Why more is less. New York: HarperCollins.بقلم Rob Sepich

You may improve focus through a simple habit (e.g., "stop / breathe / reflect / choose"). It then becomes easier to make bigger changes.بقلم Rob Sepich

In order to reduce stress by gaining control, try one of these ideas: Increase your emotional flexibility. (It's a paradox, but it works) View your current circumstances in a new way. (This can empower you) Give away control. (Others will appreciate it, and you'll benefit)بقلم Rob Sepich

Regardless of your genetic set point, you can control up to 40% of your happiness. Based on Sonja Lyubomirsky's research reported in her best seller, The How of Happiness (2008), I share how to do this through gratitude and acts of kindness. For more information on Dr. Lyubomirsky, go to: http://thehowofhappiness.com/…

Your view about the size of your problems and your power to solve them can help or hurt. Although you may be "powerful beyond measure," don't let this go to your head. In other words, "Remember that you're unique--just like everybody else!"بقلم Rob Sepich

بقلم Rob Sepich

بقلم Rob Sepich

If you think there are two kinds of people in the world, this episode is for you. (My philosophy friends understand that while a disjunctive syllogism is a valid argument form, it's not always sound.) Here's a link to the "Good Luck/Bad Luck" fable that I reference: http://thepoweryogatribe.com/bad-luck-good-luck-who-knows/…

We are meant to move, so why not do it with love? Here's the Zumba video interview I mention.بقلم Rob Sepich

Balance is attainable, but it's not easy. Here are some paths to get there: Focus on prevention through exercise, sleep, nutrition, and support. Be grateful if your department supports work/life balance. Assertively let your supervisor know if you need a little break or some help. Ask successful colleagues how they do it, and learn from them. Don't…

Margaret Mead's wish for her daughter ("to nest in the gale”) continues to shape my life. Could it help you as well?بقلم Rob Sepich

Turn nervous energy into productive focus by using these tips: Before: Keep study times brief--this reduces stress and increases recall. Imagine successfully performing in the exam location. During: Redefine physical anxiety as motivation, or focus, or energy. To counter fear, take a few slow breaths--and think something like "doing fine." After: T…

No matter how difficult life feels, opportunities exist to find joy. These won't remove problems, but they may add balance to your perspective.بقلم Rob Sepich

By approaching interviews in a new way ("to do a job" instead of "to get a job") Bryan Cranston's insight might help you as much as it helped him. And if you falter, just focus on graceful recovery.بقلم Rob Sepich

بقلم Rob Sepich

Whether you are relaxing or completing a project, "lead your mind like you lead a toddler." And recognize your power of choice, rather than think that you "have to" do anything.بقلم Rob Sepich

بقلم Rob Sepich

Try any of these public speaking tips to improve performance and reduce self-consciousness: Interpret stress in constructive terms (e.g., "I'm excited," not, "I'm panicking.") Notice friendly faces just before you start. Think, "slow down" while inhaling and "let go" or "step back" while exhaling. Speak s l o w l y. Recognize that the audience is o…

If you're starting college or know someone who is, this convocation address might help. Five suggestions from the episode are: Ask for help. Attend office hours. Take initiative in meeting others. Be mindful now. Don't believe everything you think.بقلم Rob Sepich

بقلم Rob Sepich

بقلم Rob Sepich

These cognitive-behavioral strategies are the treatment of choice for most sleep problems: Don't try to sleep. Avoid multitasking in bed. Keep a fairly regular schedule. Develop a non-electronic bedtime routine. Avoid alcohol and caffeine close to bedtime. If you use sleep medication, please be judicious. Exercise regularly. If you awaken at night,…

Three words helped change my perspective on difficulty. Maybe they'll also change yours.بقلم Rob Sepich

بقلم Rob Sepich