Mother & Son: How Healing Herself Saved His Life: A 20‑Year Journey From Pain to Purpose

Thrive While Loving an Addict | Addiction | Sobriety | Recovery | Relapse

In this powerful third installment of our series with KL Wells, host Steve Cary explores KL’s deeply personal 20-year journey of loving her son, Sam, through the grips of addiction. Timed with National Sobriety Month, this conversation includes a moving update on Sam’s recovery and a heartfelt message of hope he recently wrote.

KL shares her emotional transformation—from trying to “fix” her son to healing herself and choosing to thrive despite the chaos. This shift not only saved her life, but also created the space for Sam’s recovery. Her story is a profound example of how pain can become purpose, and how one mother’s healing journey has now become a mission to help one million people thrive while loving someone with an addiction.

🔑 Key Discussion Points:

• A Message of Hope: KL reads a recent post from Sam, now over two years sober, reflecting on his transformation from homelessness to a stable, fulfilling life.
• Parallel Journeys: The idea of simultaneous recovery—Sam’s from addiction and KL’s from the "mom code" of control and caretaking.
• From Surviving to Thriving: Why KL chose not to settle for surviving, and how she pursued a life of meaning and joy in the midst of struggle.
• Radical Self-Care: KL’s annual solo backpacking trips in the Beartooth Mountains, which became essential for her emotional recovery and renewal.
• Purpose in Pain: Seeing challenges not as punishment but as preparation for a greater mission.
• Agency and Power: The empowering reminder that we always have a choice, no matter the circumstances.
• Mission for a Million: KL’s bold vision to help one million people learn to thrive, shifting the narrative from heartbreak to hope.

❓ Some Questions I Ask:

• What does National Sobriety Month mean to you right now, with where you and Sam are in your journey?
• How did you first glimpse a different path for yourself—beyond just surviving?
• At what point in the 20-year journey did you realize you didn’t want to be hijacked by your son’s addiction anymore?
• When you imagine one million people thriving, what does that vision look like to you?

🎧 In This Episode, You Will Learn:

• The key differences between surviving and thriving while loving someone with an addiction.
• Why prioritizing your own well-being can positively impact your loved one’s recovery.
• How to shift your mindset to find the lessons and meaning in your struggle.
• The power of choice and agency, even when life feels out of control.
• How stories of hope and thriving can spark your own transformation.
• Why normalizing thriving stories is critical to changing the collective experience of families affected by addiction.

📚 Resources Mentioned

• KL Wells’ TEDx Talk – How My Family Learned to Navigate Addiction
• 🎥 Watch on YouTube
• BALM Family Recovery (Be A Loving Mirror) by Beverly A. Buncher
• 🌐 BALM Family Recovery official site
• 📖 Book: BALM: The Loving Path to Family Recovery on Amazon

📣 Connect with KL Wells:

If you're struggling and need support, KL offers resources, referrals, and heartfelt guidance. You're not alone.

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