I Wanted to Disappear… Then I Chose Me: Healing, Buddhism, and Becoming

Powerfully Broken

After a 17-year relationship ended, veteran and artist Brian D. Nordstrom Jr. hit an unthinkable low—then rebuilt from the inside out. In this raw conversation with host Barbara L. Parker, MA, LPCC-S, Brian shares how therapy, Buddhism, creativity, and a service dog helped him choose life, self-love, and purpose.
The path from despair to self-discovery rarely follows a straight line. In this raw and deeply moving conversation, veteran Brian Norson shares his journey through the darkest moments of his life to finding profound self-love and purpose.
When a 17-year relationship suddenly ended, Brian found himself at rock bottom. Covering mirrors because he couldn't stand his reflection and contemplating suicide on his 50th birthday, he credits his service dog Miles Walker with the moment that saved his life. "I had a gun in my mouth... I looked at my dog and thought, he'll never understand. How could I do that?" From that pivotal moment, Brian began the slow, challenging work of rebuilding himself.
Buddhism became Brian's philosophical framework for healing, teaching him the compassion he desperately needed to show himself. "I started saying it out loud in the shower—you deserve this, you're a good man. And then right after, I'd say, 'You're a fucking liar,' because I couldn't get past myself." Through persistent self-work, meditation, and therapy for his PTSD, Brian gradually reclaimed not only his mental health but also his artistic passions that had been neglected during his relationship struggles.
Today, Brian creates beautiful furniture pieces, has purchased a home with a workshop, and practices meditation four times daily. His perspective on his journey reflects profound wisdom: "I would never change what happened to me. The things and trials I've gone through, I'm glad I went through them because I'm the best man I've ever been in my life now." For anyone struggling with trauma, relationship loss, or thoughts of suicide, Brian's story offers a powerful reminder that healing begins with self-compassion and that our darkest moments don't define us—they refine us.

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1. Introduction and Meeting Brian (00:00:00)

2. Confronting Suicidal Thoughts (00:02:30)

3. Finding Self-Love Through Buddhism (00:04:50)

4. Miles Walker: The Dog Who Saved Me (00:08:35)

5. Reclaiming Passion and Art (00:12:15)

6. Closing Thoughts and Gratitude (00:15:35)