#392 Feel Good and Getting Better

Anxiety to Confidence - The Personal Development Unplugged Podcast

Feel Good and Getting Better

it me or do we all want everything NOW! Instantaneously or even quicker.I think we've fallen into the trap that instant gratification is the thing. But if we get that then we want the next thing and the next thing and I feel we miss out.

Why do we want everything instantaneously?

It got me thinking how does this apply to our personal development? Our dreams and desires? Enjoying the adventure and not just the elusive prize.

Then I got to thinking about therapy and how I like quick and comfortable change. Is that in conflict with the adventure of developing our true self?

If you would, come follow me on this little dive of of discovery of how we can create a practice of celebrating who and where we are and being curious of what's to come.

It's really not how fast. It's enjoying how good and getting better.

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Shine brightly

Paul

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And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

Hey, friend, you're back. I'm back. Feeling good, getting better. That might be the title of this podcast or this episode, I'm not sure yet, but just for a moment, just for a moment, while you're here with me, I'd like you to take a breath. Just a breath. And, know that you're blessed because you are. Just take that breath. Because I've been thinking. I do that. I do a lot of weird thinking. And I was thinking the other day, why do we want everything now? And I'm saying we, because I know I do. I know I do. Occasionally, not always, but I get lost in that. But I see it in so many different ways that people, want something right now. Right now at the latest, tomorrow. You know, everything you order has got to be here tomorrow. Can't wait. Got to have it. And it's like a race, even. It's not just getting things to be able to do things to, you know, maybe in this land, this life of personal development, there's a race to get somewhere quicker, to find that hack. And I hate the word hack, you know that. To learn something quicker, to have it now, to be able to do these things instant, bloody taneously. And it's. Is it? Or is it? Or is it. Is that search for instant gratification feeling good right now, no delay. It's got to happen now. And I think when you have that instant gratification, it just doesn't last. Because the thing is, we've got this in our mindset. I'm saying we. Maybe it's all me. I don't know. But I think there's a bit of this in everybody, and there's certainly a lot of it in a lot of people as well. And I think we can learn from others. We can learn the good things about others, and we can learn what not to do from others actions. But that instant gratification doesn't last, because the next thing I want, the next thing I want, the next thing now. I want it now. I want it now. You don't even have time to enjoy, to enjoy what you have, right now, what you've achieved. So that's why I said, let's stop, take a breath, pause for a little while, and just think for a moment, what is the prize that we want? That's a big question. Is it, Paul? And it's totally too vague. I'm thinking about what is the prize that we desire, a dream of for ourselves in our own personal development, because that's what this is, isn't it? It's personal development. Unplugged. so we're going to get into the raw part of this. Let's get naked. Where did that come from? Clubby. But, you know, what is the prize we won? I made a few notes, a few bullet points. I thought, well, there's skills I want to learn skills, different things. I want to improve the skills I've got and build upon them. So my skill base and that foundation gets bigger and stronger to enable me to do even more things. Maybe I want to let go of certain negative emotions, and I want to experience more positive emotions and things like, and they all link together, don't they? Because if I'm learning new skills that I really enjoy and it's making me feel I'm a better, more capable person, more confident, more confident person, my emotions are going to be more positive, aren't they? What will happen to my beliefs? My beliefs will be more positive about me. Probably, have more positive beliefs about other people, but it's all about me, my identity. Chipping away at the stuff that doesn't work. Chipping away the stuff that has been trying to protect me, but is no longer appropriate and, finding the real beliefs and, values of me, my identity, who I really am and who I can grow to be. And it's grow, not instant. It's grow, evolve. What about behaviors? Because they come from skills and emotions and beliefs, don't they? Because it's one thing just knowing stuff, but being able to do stuff, it's be and do and know, isn't it? it's that mastery again, knowing what to do and doing what you know and have that expand, have that grow.

Cloughie says letting go of anxiety and fears can lead to positive change

And ultimately, I guess it's to grow and experience a good life, because a good life will have all the wonderful things that you've done. M and I see that as the prize. We can go deeper into that. I mean, what would it feel like to have that dream come true, knowing that you're going to carry on growing, experiencing a good life even more, more richer, and having the time to wallow in it. And I. Wallow is a weird word, but I love the word to wallow in good experiences, wallowing, good emotions. Why not? We've created them. You've created it. You created your beliefs, your emotions, your skills, your behaviors, because you had the right intention. You know, I see those people who go, oh, I've been around. I've traveled, man. I've traveled. I've been everywhere. I've done this. And you talked. Oh, yeah, I've been there and I've been there. How did you be in so many places? Well, they did, but they only visited for half a day. A day. It was like getting your stamp and moving on. And to me, well, that's not experiencing stuff. That's not wallowing, is it? I love the term, let's just sit down for a spell. And that spell, spellbound, being in the moment and just thinking, yeah, this is good, and I'm gonna do more of this. Now, I've talked about slowing down and really getting into what the desire, what the prize, what the dream is. Not instant gratification, but on the other hand, there's a complete. When I was thinking about this, you're going, okay, Cloughie. That, to me, seems really positive. But on the other hand, what do you talk about when you do your own therapy? Cloughie. And you see, when it comes to change, as in change of letting go of the things that are, stopping us using our skills, our emotions, our values, and growing and evolving in experience, I like to have therapeutic change as quick as possible. In fact, our unconscious mind learns to change quickly. It doesn't like, like one word at a time, one word a day. If you read a book, one word a day, well, after two days, you wouldn't even. Three days, four days, you wouldn't know what's happening. You wouldn't know. Even if you read the whole book, you wouldn't retain anything because it wouldn't make sense. But if you could let go of anxiety and fears just like that, you have time, more time to grow those experiences, to grow those skills, to grow those emotions, to wallow in wonderful things. And, I think that's the dichotomy, really. I want you to have that gratification of quick change, knowing that you can change quickly because your unconscious mind is only trying to protect you. And you can find it in a better way, because if you compare anxiety, fears, unconfidence, any negative emotion, guilt, jealousy, what else can we have? Depression, OCD, aHD, AdHD? I don't believe that. But hey, all that stuff trying to do you some good, but is really stopping you. If you found a better way from developing those skills to developing more positive emotions. Because do you feel safer when you're doing the things that you love, being confident and competent in the things you love, having that good emotion, believing in yourself and the behaviours coming out into a good experience, that's safety. So we just need to learn from the past and we can learn from the past really quickly because we get your unconscious mind to do that. And because of that we can then allow ourselves to experience creating the you you want to be and experiencing those moments, those aha, uh-huh moments when you suddenly realize, if you stop, take a breath and realize, yeah, at this very moment in time, I'm blessed, I'm going to be more blessed as I evolve. But imagine what you'd see if you let go of that anxiety, let go of those fears, let go of that, unconfidence, let go of that guilt, whatever, whatever, whatever we talked about, you fill in the blank. What would it feel like if you could lose that in a few moments, a couple of hours maybe, what would it be? What would you see in the world? How would the world look different? Because it would look different because you'd be seeing it through a different set of filters. And when you look at. And you'd see it from a different perspective. And when you look at things differently, we know things look different. And, what were the sounds and the words that you would hear, that, self talk, what would that be like when you've let go of that anxiety, fear and confidence and all that other stuff, and living in the world of developing your skills, really aligning yourself with your values and your beliefs and your personal development, knowing that you're going to grow and experience a good life. And how would that make you feel when you put that all together? Seeing what you'll be seeing, hearing what you'll be hearing, because you've let go of all those negative, emotions, negative behaviors, negative beliefs, limiting beliefs, and you're working forward towards growing, growing into the next part of you. You might even taste and smell success. And that's when I say it's a matter of doing that quickly so you could be able to stop and pause, take a breath and, realize, how far have I travelled? You see, this is you now. So when you stop and pause just for a moment, notice, yeah, I may have a few issues I need to deal with. But if I look back, if I did look back, I, know I've gone through things and they've disappeared now. So I can do this. Let me do it quickly because Cloughie says you can, because that's what we do. So if you listen to hypnosis, tracks NLP processes, go and see a therapist, a good hypnotist, I always tell you, a hypnotist, NLP practitioner and timeline. Therapist, practitioner, you get one of those who has got those skills, boom. You'll do it really quickly and so you can then set yourself up to start learning and developing and evolving. But just. If you just say how, you know, if I look back now on this personal development, life that I've led, how far have I traveled in this hero's journey, hero's adventure? What was I like a year ago? Four years ago? Wow. Yeah. Because sometimes we forget that when we're living in the moment. But it's good to know how far we've come because now we can look to see where we want to go because it will give us more confidence in ourselves, more competence to be able to say, well, I can do more because I've got more skills. I've got more skills than I had back then. So if I've got more skills, more, access to more positive emotions, beliefs and values, and I've got behaviours that really go forward to my prize, my desires, my dreams of being the best version of me, I can do even more. And you begin to wonder in this moment of, just being you right now. You just wonder what's in store. What's in store for me, my life. Imagine that now. Just being you, just taking this breath, knowing you're blessed, feeling grateful because you're still. I nearly swore and still alive. You're above ground, you're taking breaths. So you've got everything you need. And I think you see, I, know you're going to work on your skills. I, know you're going to work on letting go of emotions, the negative emotions, letting go of limiting beliefs. And I know you're going to work at accessing positive emotions, being aligned to your highest values, having positive beliefs about yourself, the identity beliefs that really going to support you, therefore creating wonderful behaviours.

Practice of celebrating being you, being me. Whatever your circumstances

I want you to practice. This is what I'd like. I want you to actually sit down for that spell and create a practice of celebrating being you, being me. Even if we're a little bit broken. We've talked about that before, being a little bit broken because we always go, a little bit broken, but go, yay. Yay. I. She wrote that down on my notes. A big capital letters, uppercase y, a y, exclamation marks all over the place. Yay. It's just because I don't think we do. And once we celebrate who we are, I think our unconscious mind gets it, gets it even more. And, we can just. And it doesn't have to take long. You know, to me it's like, it's a form of the attitude of gratitude. Just taking this moment, taking a breath, realizing you're blessed. Whatever your circumstances. Yes, we've got some issues maybe that we need to deal with. Maybe life has thrown us a curveball and at this moment in time, we're not in our best state. But when we sit here right now and go, do you know what? I'm still alive. I'm me. And I've got. Because I'm still alive and because I'm still breathing, I've got the opportunity to develop those, skills even more, to deal with this, to access the right emotions and behaviours and beliefs. Because this too will pass. And even the good stuff, this too will pass. And you go, that's negative, Cloughie. No, because this too will pass and get richer, get richer, so much more richer in life, the experiences. And you could just sometimes, even imagine in the future of what that will be like because there is so much more to come. And it's not when we go right back to the beginning, it's not how fast, it's how good, how good it could be right now. Finding the good in the right now and knowing it's been getting better. Therefore it will keep getting better. And you then can look at that vision, that ultimate vision of you, the best version of yourself that will just keep getting bigger and brighter and better because you'll be building off that firmer foundation. And I think just doing this moment of practice, celebrating, because it's not just reviewing. We've done that, we do reviews, we do our planning, but just celebrating this moment in time. And yay. I'm still a little broken, but who gives a fuck? I did swear. But that's, that's it, isn't it? Who gives a fuck? It's me. I'm growing and I will continue to grow and I'm going to do the best I can. Wouldn't that be good? Isn't that good? And, how long does it take to practice celebrating being who you are right now? 30 seconds. Could be 10 seconds. Have you got 10 seconds in your day? You betcha. And with a lot of the stuff I talk about, there is only one negative side effect. If it doesn't work, if this doesn't make you feel better, more confident, more motivated to carry on, the worst side effect it will be is that 10 seconds in your day you will feel bloody awesome because you're celebrating the best of you. Nothing else. Just looking for the best of you and feeling grateful for it, feeling blessed. You're in this life and you're stepping up to the plate. And I'm celebrating being here because I'm going to make a difference, by the way. And that's what this will all come from. Because as we have that prize, that desire, that dream, in this personal development, to be the best version of ourselves, I know that will include helping and serving others, because it is. It always does. You'll be in that frame of mind to do things naturally, to help other people, the world, the planet, animals, whatever it is which floats your boat. You'll do good stuff for no one to return, and you'll make a difference. And then when you do stop and practice this celebration, you can take that in, too, and wonder how that's going to develop even more. That passion, that seed of passion will grow and then celebrate its growth, nurture it, feed it, water it. That's all there is. Well, maybe that's not all there is. There's lots of other stuff. But it's, to me, that's a lot of it. So let's just take that moment. Maybe if you want to. It's a muse. But if you just stop now, just celebrate yourself. Thank you for being here. Thank me for all the stuff I've gone through and I'm here and I'm still punching away, stepping up to that plate over and over again to be the best me I can. Sometimes I don't quite hit that bar, but that's okay because I'm going to do it better next time. Celebrate being you. Take a breath. There you go, my friend. I hope you enjoyed that little music. I just sometimes think that we can do all these wonderful different things, have all the processes in the world, and, you know, I've got loads of processes which are free. Where are they? Purcell? No, they're not there, Paul. They're at paulcloughonline.com podcast. Also, if you go to the main page there, you'll see some other stuff I've got there, which is good. All the discounted prices and all that stuff. And you can just have access to those low 60 plus hypnosis NLP processes to help you do that quick change from anxiety to confidence. So please take access of that. It's the whole reason. Not the whole reason, but one of the main reasons I've been doing this stuff. A lot of this is stuff is me talking to me. And you get, if there is any benefit, what falls out. But those processes, I've, put my best into those and I think they will. There's a lot of good stuff there. Not blowing it up bigger than it is, but I think I know it's stuff that I use in my therapy with other people and I just bloody work. I'm going to current adding to it.

What would happen if everyone celebrated being who they were

So if you could do that and if you could just share this as usual, that would be good. Because I think everyone. What would happen if everyone celebrated being who they were and feeling good for who they were and knowing there's so much more to come, knowing that it's not how fast, it's how good, how rich, we could enjoy the experience of evolution of ourselves towards the best version of ourselves. What would happen if everybody did that? So if you could share this, I think it'll make a difference. It'll make a difference to me, it'll make a difference to you, I know, but it'll make a difference to them and therefore it'll make a difference to little old planet Earth, which is the whole ecology of it all. Good for you, good for others, good for little old planet Earth. there you go. And if any of this is just that. Oh, actually, Paul, you know, you've said all this, but, I'm a bit struggling with getting rid of x, y, z. You know, I'm struggling with a bit of anxiety around or fear a bit about this, or this bloody adhd or all that stuff. Send me an email [e-mail]. Have a little chat with you and we'll see what we can do about creating something just for you, because it'll be just for you and, everyone else gets the benefit of it. So it's good for you, good for me, because I love doing it, good for other people and therefore be good for planet earth. we're back there on the old ecology trail, so please do share, okay? And for goodness sake, if you haven't done it already, please do not press that subscribe button more than twice. Just once will do. Have more fun than you can stand, because that's the thing when you're celebrating you're going to have more fun. And you can stand right now. Take a breath and fly, my friend, and I'll see you on the next time, the fmqs and the longer podcasts. Okay? Have fun. Thank you so much for your time. It's precious and I appreciate it. Thank you. Bye bye now.

Paul Clough puts 90 seconds of hypnosis tracks on a separate website

So, the 90 seconds of hypnosis tracks. Why have I put hypnosis tracks on a separate website? Well, it's so simple, really. I wanted you to have them all in one place so you can look through them all. You can find the particular one you want. I've even made them downloadable so you can put them on any of your playing devices that you prefer. You don't need Wi Fi, you don't need the itunes or whatever, you can put them anywhere you like. You can even burn them onto disk if you want. Where did you get them? Well, there you go. I told you. It's paulcloughonline.com podcast. If you're worried about your email address, please don't be, because they stay totally safe with me. I only use them to send you out that email and give you access. Simple as that. I send you a link, special link, so you, and, only you can access those hypnosis tracks because I want them just for you. And the other thing about this is you've taken responsibility. I don't want to make these open to everyone, just random. You have taken responsibility to listen and be part of this community of personal development. And I want to help you. I want to help you personally to get your dreams, your goals, and therefore, I'm giving you these tools. Tools, these protocols, these paradigms, whatever you want to call them, but in deep hypnosis. So just enjoy, have more fun than you can stand with. Hypnosis one, you are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly on your own. Be brave, my friend. Personal development, unplugged.

Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]