S3 Ep8 How Good Is Your Good Girl?

The Holy F*ck Podcast

Sugar & Spice & everything nice, that’s what good girls are made of.

Does being a good girl really get you what you want?

1.09- What does the empowered woman look like these days?

2.06- Why do we feel the need to pretend to be something we’re not? What do we think we’re going to get?

No man wants us to be the Virgin Mary. Old ancient instinctual behavior to be taken care of. Is that what we want or do we want to be empowered.

3.31- Keep my mouth shut, don’t speak up, get chores done- I’ll be a good girl.

Virgin/Whore- take us to a business party and present us as a beautiful wife, but jump their bones when we’re home.

4.15 Lady in the street but a freak in the bed. American culture that we’re supposed to be asexual in certain areas of our life but doesn’t match what we’re asked to be at home.

Boobalicious. Red stockings. Ferragamo. Powerful in her knowing of her beauty & strength. Not about being a rebel. 40 years later she’s still the same.

5.47- women who embody magnetic persona, super empowered but how did they get there?

Empowered decision making. Don’t give a fuck about what anyone else says, auth themselves, are who they are at all times. They’re pleasing themselves. No pretending.

7.08- can't make healthy decisions if you don’t know who you truly are. Can’t build the life you want. Want alive, juicy, fulfilled.

9.22- Social media jealousy/judgy, indicator you’re ready to step up into that space. When you get into action, things happen! Turned into inspiration.

11.02- sharing self with the world vs persona showing to the world.

11.23- 3rd season of HFP. Girls show up in a whole new way. Blossoming into whoever the fuck they want to be.

12.16- Krista’s come a long way baby! Started this pattern as a little girl. Tomboy, tough, beat up the boys. In front of teachers, perfect little girl. Depended on how safe/unsafe she felt and also who she wanted to please.

13.37- wake up one day and you’re 40 and who the fuck am I? Who’s running the show? Which parts to keep, which to ditch. Ended up in an integrated space.

15.04-Embodying bad girl swinging in and sprinkling in the spiritual and good girl and healing. More drama in the beginning days of HFP. Exhilarating but doesn’t get you what you want.

16.58- Truth telling is the hardest thing we can do. But first you have to figure out what your truth is. Are we willing to commit to what we want?

17.29- Empowered woman receives as much as she gives. If everyone is in Giver Mode, then no one is left to receive. “Better to give than receive.” Especially for women.

19.20 If we don’t give men what it takes to open us, then we can’t receive and they can’t give to us. No one gets what they want. Why keep pretending? 20.12- Don’t really know who we are. Trying on different personas.

20.41- Being loved by everyone is the booby prize. Left with not a single meaningful relationship. Only known 1” deep. When you’re pretending, you’re only giving the tip (of the iceberg, yourself).

22.14- Woman not fully able to release into orgasm because you don’t want to completely lose control. Katherine’s orgasm face. He’s not afraid to show us a minute later.

24.29- When we’re in a different place of healing, there’s no shame, guilt, actually pretty funny.

25.39- We’re ashamed to be ourselves. Shamed to fit in the mould, not rock the boat. Puts a lid on the opportunity to be a woman- sensual, coolest thing, feelings all over the place.

27.29 So busy playing the Good Girl but Secretly fantasizing 50 Shades of Gray. But if we’re pretending in our Puritan frocks, hiding from them, hiding from ourselves. Not like if they poke us in the right place and we’d open up.

28.28- Risky business/positions/ truth telling. Peeling layers back to find who we are to gain the confidence. Then we can really step into OUR LIFE- not what your mama wants, not what your husband or kids want. I just don’t give a fuck what anyone else thinks for the first time in her life. Give others permission to also not give a fuck.

Scares the hell out of her on a daily basis. Being deeply honest keeps us on a razor’s edge. When you feel something in a moment, hurt/sad/scared, totally own it as your feeling and then tell someone. Caveat- not blame on the Other, it’s yours.

32.12- Pretending robs others the opportunity of interacting with you from an authentic place. Ping Pong People Pleasing. No one speaks up. How did I get here? Life is truth. Truth is life.

First time you say “It’s okay” and it’s not okay, you’re lying to them and yourself. Resent grows and you fucking lose it. It’s deadening to the relationship.

Byron Katie- Don’t pretend you’re more evolved than you are.

Don’t pretend you’re not jealous, you’re not angry.

Own the feelings to get to the healing.

34.26- Pretending or People pleasing, operating from the Disempowered Woman.

This is who I am. This is what I want. This is what I’m going to do to get it.

Make a decision from our false self. Get a result. Make another decision from our false self. Get another result. All based on false self.

Don’t have to settle for Good Enough, you can live an Epic Life. The life YOU choose!

38.04- The Good Enough was everyone else’s Good Enough. Still haven't busted through our Mama’s 1950’s belief system yet.

Krista Kim Coaching- Mastermind for the Modern Woman

41.28- coming through to who you are, you get who you’re matched with. Friends, lovers.

43.24- we have to choose exactly what the life we want to live looks like, it’s that we’re coming into clarity and living what’s true for us every single day. Not blaming.

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