The Tell Them Method - How To Stop Holding On To Emotional Baggage and Regret

On Purpose with Jay Shetty

Have you ever regretted not saying something sooner?

Do you think holding in your emotions causes stress?

Today, Jay takes us on a journey through the principles of the Tell Them Method, explaining that whether it's a simple decision like not wanting to attend an event or a deeper emotion like feeling unappreciated, the key is to directly communicate those feelings to the person involved. He highlights that most of us practice what he calls the "Tell Everyone But Them" method—where we vent to others but avoid speaking directly to the person who needs to hear it. This behavior, Jay argues, not only erodes trust and intimacy in relationships but also traps negative emotions within us, leading to stress and even physical discomfort.

Jay uses relatable anecdotes and insights from research to underline the significance of expressing emotions in a healthy way. He discusses how bottled-up emotions can lead to passive-aggressive behavior, overreactions, and even health problems. By directly telling people how we feel—whether it’s disappointment, love, or frustration—Jay believes we open the door to deeper understanding and connection.

In this episode, you'll learn:

How to Use the Tell Them Method

How to Stop Avoiding Hard Conversations

How to Pick the Best Time to Talk

How to Share Feelings Without Fighting

How to Ask Instead of Accuse

Practicing the "Tell Them Method" approach in everyday life not only improves our relationships but also enhances our emotional well-being, giving us the clarity and peace that comes from being truthful and intentional in our interactions.

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

What We Discuss:

00:00 Intro

02:33 What is the Tell Them Method?

06:11 Why it’s Hard to Tell Someone How You Feel

09:29 Underestimate the Value of How Something is Said

16:06 The Three Things That Happen When Emotion is Experienced

18:26 How Trapped Emotions Can Create Trauma

22:52 Figure Out the Best Time to Talk About It

25:57 Don’t Wait for the Last Minute to Tell Them

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