Episode 26: final thoughts and experiences with Self-esteem

Letters to my kids: A suicide survivor's lessons and advice for life

Episode 26: final thoughts and experiences with Self-esteem

Music: “Just A Blip” by Andy G. Cohen From the Free Music Archive Released under a Creative Commons Attribution International License

- Redefine Rejection. Many people with low self-esteem engage in “impression management” which is the attempt to influence how others perceive them. Instead of being genuinely who they are, they act in a way to get approval from others:

agreeing with others when they have a different opinion, dressing or acting in certain ways to conform with others, trying not to be noticed in a negative way. However, such a behavioral contrast occurs in less dire ways: teenagers who seek approval from a peer group while rebelling against parents or people who persecute or mistreat those with different beliefs.

Learning to redefine rejection allows you to act according to your personal beliefs and desires rather than acting based upon the approval of others. Redefining rejection is to consider that rejection can be a good thing because it means you are a unique and genuine person. No one can be liked by everyone. If so, you are trying to seek approval. And approval-seeking is a trap.

"Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any other" - Abraham Lincoln

- Re-write Your Life Script. If you have been working through these steps, some time has passed since you wrote your first life script. It takes time to practice each of these steps until they occur more automatically so it could be six months or more since you wrote it. But if you have been practicing the steps consistently over a period of time, your life script should have changed. It is time to re-write your life script.

If you have not been consistently working on these steps for at least six months, stop here!

Re-writing your life script can consolidate the changes you have made and continue to reinforce your self-esteem overtime. In addition, it can help you determine whether you need to address any of the steps further.

To re-write your life script, you can review the questions in Step 2 and answer the questions according to how you feel now. Or, you can review your old life script, cross out what isn't true and add in what is true now.

While re-writing your life script, keep in mind what you learned in Step 14: recognizing limitations and weaknesses is okay (and important) as long as you don't include a value judgment about those aspects of yourself. Those with good self-esteem take responsibility for their lives. They accept both their strengths and their limitations. They don't deny reality but they are not unduly critical and harsh with themselves. Limitations are accepted without a value judgment. By doing so, they seek opportunities for improvement.

"Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are."- Marilyn Monroe

"Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others’ approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.”- Lao-Tzu

- Story of how I developed my own self-esteem after my events

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure" - Marianne Williamson

"The two most important days in your life are the day you're born and the day you find out why" - Mark Twain

"The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself."- Mark Twain