54. The Relationship Game-Changer You're Probably Missing

Honest Women

What if we told you there is one thing you could start doing today, that could divorce proof your marriage? Does it sound too good to be true? Today we have honest conversation about our attempts to connect with our partner and how one small move can increase or decrease the likelihood of divorce.

Listen to hear more about:

• Bids for connection are important in maintaining a healthy relationship
• Responding to bids by turning towards each other increases the likelihood of a successful relationship
• Ignoring or rejecting bids can lead to relationship dissatisfaction and potential divorce
• Couples should make an effort to be aware of and respond positively to each other's bids for connection. Bids for connection in relationships can be indirect and easily missed or misinterpreted.
• Bids change throughout a marriage, particularly after having children.
• Recognizing and valuing bids for connection is crucial for maintaining a strong relationship.
• Challenging the stories we tell ourselves about our partner's bids can lead to better understanding and connection.
• Being more direct in our communication can help ensure that bids are received and responded to.
• Making nonverbal bids, such as affectionate touch, can also contribute to a positive relationship dynamic.

Soundbites from your favorite Honest Women:

• "Bids for connection are any attempt from one partner to another for attention, affirmation, affection, or any positive connection."
• "There are three ways to respond to a bid: turning towards, turning away, or turning against."
• "Couples that stayed married turned towards each other 86% of the time, while couples that divorced averaged only 33% of the time."
• "I embraced it so much more because I now looked at some of the silly things that my husband will do as a bid for connection."
• "There was less time invested in it. It was less risky at that point, meaning there probably wasn't a long history of feeling rejected."
• "A lot of his bids are the same as they've always been. But I respond to him a lot differently."

Like this episode? Try these!

Transform your Marriage Today: 10 Tips to Transform your Marriage

Three Universal Reasons Why Being Married is Hard

Redefining Happily Ever After

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Honest Women is the podcast for every woman juggling the demands of modern life (while trying to keep her shit together) and finding that it’s all just a little more difficult than she thought it would be. Your hosts, Andrea Burkly and Jessica Hutchison, are two very real mental health professionals who are taking honest conversations from inside their offices to the outside world.

Disclaimer:

Please note while this podcast features two therapists, and may feel very therapeutic, this is not therapy! Please be entertained, and know that through our creative content, we are not providing mental health care. No diagnosis. No treatment. No medical advice. Just creative content. Please seek appropriate mental health support in the real world.

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