My Long-Term Relationship With Grief - Barri Leiner Grant & The Memory Circle

Grief Out Loud

When Barri Leiner Grant was 28, her mother Ellen died suddenly. Barri was hit with intense grief, but back then the expectation was to hurry up and get back to work and life. She didn't have the time, space, or tools to acknowledge and attend to grief. Over the past 31 years, Barri and her grief have gotten to know each other on a deep level. In this long-term relationship, she's learned that her grief gets louder each time she reaches a new milestone or faces a transition. Even with that knowing, the grief can still find ways to catch her off-guard. Recently, one of those times was watching her daughter turn the same age Barri was when her mother died.

We discuss:

• How Barri's mom, Ellen, was a woman before her time
• The day her mother died and the last sounds she heard
• What the early days of grief felt like
• The untenable expectation to get back to "normal"
• Finding Hope Edelman's book, Motherless Daughters
• The grief tending tools Barri turned to over the past 31 years
• Her daughter turning the age Barri was when her mother died
• The newer grief of being a caregiver for her father who has dementia
• How The Memory Circle came to be and Barri's work as a grief coach
• One of Barri's favorite ways to engage with grief - writing

Barri Leiner Grant is the founder and Chief Grief Officer™, of The Memory Circle for grief support--a place and space she created in 2019, for those learning to live with loss. She left a longtime career as a journalist and motherloss peer guide, to pursue full-time work and training as a Certified Grief Coach and Educator. Connect with Barri on Instagram and Substack.