323. Unlearning: The Habit of Abandoning Yourself to Keep the Peace, with Amber Rae

For Real: Life, Leadership, & Unlearning

What happens when the life you've built no longer fits the person you've become?

In this episode, Megan talks to Amber Rae, who shares her story of a profound unraveling that began with a single, eye-opening moment, leading her to confront the truth about her marriage, her career, and the beliefs she had held for years.

If you've ever felt that quiet pull to make a change but has been too afraid to follow it, you'll want to tune in.

In this episode, you'll learn about:

• Why we are conditioned to choose others' happiness over our own—and the deep-seated fear behind it.
• The dangerous trap of "self-abandonment" and how it masquerades as self-love.
• The difference between your intuition and the noisy voices of fear and expectation.
• A powerful journaling practice to help you discern which voice is speaking to you.
• Why we often try to fix our external circumstances (our jobs, our home) instead of facing the truth about what needs to shift internally.
• How to borrow courage from the categories in your life where you already feel confident.
• The crucial reframe: walking away from something you've outgrown is an act of leadership, not selfishness.

Episode Timestamps:

• 00:03:00 – The pivotal moment that sparked Amber's unraveling.
• 00:05:00 – Why the unraveling is happening to so many women right now.
• 00:08:00 – The connection between Amber's personal journey and her new book, Lovable.
• 00:10:20 – The messy reality of healing and why it's not a linear process.
• 00:19:00 – The difficult question: Is it self-love or self-abandonment?
• 00:23:25 – The realization that we often "self-abandon" in one area of life but not others.
• 00:28:00 – How to discern the voice of intuition from the noise of fear.
• 00:31:30 – A powerful journaling practice for listening to your internal voices.

About Amber Rae:

• Website: https://www.amberrae.com/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/heyamberrae/
• Book: Loveable by Amber Rae: https://www.amazon.com/Loveable-Womans-Path-Good-Free/dp/1250809339

For Real on Social Media:

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/forrealwithmegan/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ForRealPodcast

This episode was edited and produced by Walk West and is brought to you by Megan's online membership site for wedding pros, The Planner’s Vault.

Feeling the pull to pause and realign? Join me October 27–30 in Ocean Isle Beach, NC for my Restore & Realign Retreat, only a few spots left! Reserve yours here: https://www.theplannersvault.com/restore-realign-retreat-application

The Next Chapter VIP Experience: January 12, 2025 in Cary NC - https://www.megangillikin.com/2026-next-chapter-vip-experience