338: What do you do if sex hurts for her? (And how do you talk about it?) (ft. Z Zoccolante) [replay]

Dear Men: How to Rock Sex, Dating, and Relationships With Women

According to my sex research, women's number one sex problem is physical pain.

The truth is, it's painful when sex hurts -- for both people. Not just for the person experiencing it, but for their partner.

How do you handle it if she has pain during sex, whether you're just starting out in dating or you're in a committed relationship? And how do you handle your own emotional pain or guilt around still having sexual needs?

If you've ever been with a woman who was sleeping with you because she felt she "should," you know the pain of which I speak. Perhaps you were married and you sensed that she saw it as her wifely duty to keep you sexually satisfied. But that's not what you wanted -- you wanted her to be an enthusiastic participant in sex, not a passive recipient who was only doing it to please you.

Here, Z describes the ways she was actually quite sexually closed as a newlywed, despite having sex with her partner. She talks about the shifts she and her husband went through once they got married ... and how (lack of) sex played a big role in why they got divorced.

There are also deeper layers underlying this issue, and we delve into them. And spoiler alert -- the good news is that this story has a happy ending. Healing is always possible, and Z has experienced it. Sex is now pleasurable for her, and she's far more sexually open than before.

Remember: Personal growth works, so work it.

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