Does the abuser see you as a person?

You're Not Crazy Podcast

In today's episode, we delve into a profound concept known as "the Teddy Bear Effect," which provides insight into manipulative expectations within abusive relationships.

The "Teddy Bear Effect" stems from Patricia Evans' analogy in her book Controlling People. It's about how abusers create an unrealistic version of their partner, treating them as if they were a teddy bear - compliant and devoid of personal needs or feelings. This pretend relationship ignores the authentic person's identity and imposes unfair standards that serve only the abuser's sense of control.

Key points discussed include:

• The non-reciprocal nature of abusive relationships where expectations are one-sided.
• How controllers project their own narrative onto their partners, ignoring true emotions and reactions.
• The damaging impact on victims who feel unseen and unappreciated for who they truly are.

Here are the two books mentioned on the podcast:
Controlling People
The Verbally Abusive Relationship

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