05 Understanding Male Pain: Deep Insights from an Expert Trauma Therapist

The American Masculinity Podcast

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Men often confuse trauma with everyday stress or pain—until it quietly reshapes their relationships, emotions, and identity. In this conversation, trauma therapist Eric Blommel breaks down how trauma actually works in men, why most of us miss the signs, and what real healing looks like.
👉 Fact Checking, Full citations, tools, and links here: https://www.americanmasculinity.com/2470364/episodes/17203093-05-understanding-male-pain-deep-insights-from-an-expert-trauma-therapist

🔍 What We Cover in This Episode

· Why trauma in men often goes unrecognized (and how it hides in plain sight)

· The difference between discomfort, pain, and trauma

· Why men tend to resist therapy—and what actually helps

· How trauma bonding forms in relationships (and why it’s so hard to break)

· The surprising neuroscience behind empathy vs. compassion

· What childhood has to do with adult shutdowns

· One book every man should read to understand himself better

🧠 Guest Bio: Eric Blommel, MA, LPC

Eric Blommel is a senior psychotherapist with over 20 years of experience helping men recover from trauma, addiction, and the hidden wounds of early life. His clinical work blends neuroscience, depth psychology, and a no-BS approach to healing.

📚 Books & Research Mentioned

Support Local Bookstores and the Podcast by shopping for them here:

https://bookshop.org/lists/amp-5-exploring-trauma-list

Citations with ISBNs and source links available below.

• *How Emotions Are Made* – Lisa Feldman Barrett

• *Trauma and Recovery* – Judith Herman

• *Tribe* – Sebastian Junger

• *The WEIRDest People in the World* – Joseph Henrich

• TED Talk: *How to Make Stress Your Friend* – Kelly McGonigal

• Research on empathy vs. compassion (Tania Singer)

• The Replication Crisis in Psychology

• Meta-analysis on telehealth efficacy

Fact Check:
The claim that "telehealth therapy is 80% as effective as in-person therapy" is an oversimplification. While some studies have found comparable outcomes between telehealth and in-person therapy—especially for conditions like anxiety, depression, and PTSD—the exact percentage of efficacy varies widely depending on the type of therapy, diagnosis, client population, and access to technology. Meta-analyses and clinical reviews support telehealth’s overall effectiveness, but no consensus places it precisely at 80%.

Citation:
Batastini, A. B., Paprzycki, P., Jones, A. C. T., & MacLean, N. (2021). Are videoconference psychological interventions equivalent to face-to-face? A meta-analysis of empirical literature. Clinical Psychology Review, 83, 101944. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2020.101944

📌 Research and Citations

• Empathy vs. Compassion in the Brain

Claim: Empathy activates pain centers, while compassion activates reward centers in the brain.

Source: Singer, T., & Klimecki, O. M. (2014). Empathy and compassion. *Current Biology*, 24(18), R875–R878.

Link: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/25247366/?utm_source=chatgpt.com

• Stress Mindset and Health Outcomes

Claim: Viewing stress as harmf

The American Masculinity Podcast™ is hosted by Timothy Wienecke — licensed psychotherapist, Air Force veteran, and men’s advocate.
Real conversations about masculinity, mental health, growth, and how men can show up better — as partners, leaders, and friends.
We focus on grounded tools, not yelling or clichés. If you have questions or want a tool for something you're wrestling with, leave a comment or send a message — your feedback shapes what we build next.
Note: While this doesn’t replace therapy, it might help you notice something worth exploring.

فصول

1. Is It Trauma or Just a Hard Time? (00:00:00)

2. How Men React to Trauma (vs. Women) (00:03:24)

3. Pain, Discomfort, and When It Becomes Damage (00:07:48)

4. Why Some Men Feel Nothing at All (00:11:36)

5. Trauma Bonding and Dysfunctional Relationships (00:15:55)

6. The Link Between Trauma and Addiction (00:21:12)

7. One Tool That Could Change Everything (00:27:03)

8. What Makes Therapy Actually Work for Men (00:30:45)

9. Attachment, Shutdown, and Early Childhood (00:35:01)

10. Books That Helped Us Understand Trauma (00:41:29)

11. When Men Finally Start Healing (00:46:08)

12. Eric's 3 Answers (01:22:45)