Romantic Trespassing: Don't Violate My Boundaries

Romancipation

S3 Episode 7: Romantic Trespassing: Don’t Violate My Boundaries

Episode Summary

Believe it or not, everyone loves boundaries. Why? Because they set expectations and reinforce security in a relationship. When a person is clear about their expectations, wants and needs in a relationship, they set their partner up for success. Remember, boundaries are a two-way street in a relationship. Just as you expect yours to be respected, you must offer the same to your partner.
Honest and open communication is necessary in any romantic relationship. It is unfair to expect your partner to read your mind, no matter how long you have been together. As relationships evolve, a person’s boundaries can shift. The only way your partner will know if they have violated your boundary is by you letting them know.
Romantic trespassing can make you feel uncomfortable and angry. If a partner is refusing to respect your established boundaries, there is a lack of respect and empathy in your relationship. However, if you tolerated a behavior in the past and never let your partner know that it crossed your boundary, you only have yourself to blame. Never let fear of rejection stop you from practicing self-preservation.
At the end of each episode, Marlee and Lis vent about commonly experienced issues in romantic relationships. In this episode, the ladies discuss when your partner has poor bedtime manners.

Show Notes

Setting boundaries and keeping them is important for a healthy relationship. It supports self-preservation, and that’s what Romancipation is all about. Some boundaries are static and unchanging, and they should not be crossed. For example, consider the boundary of monogamy. This is a static boundary in most relationships.
Some boundaries are more dynamic and may change as you build trust and intimacy. Whether your boundaries are static or dynamic, they must be communicated. Your partner can’t always read your mind. When your boundaries are crossed, let your partner know that they are making you uncomfortable.
When you let your partner know that they are violating your boundaries, they should back off. If they don’t back off, it’s a huge red flag. This is a trespassing of your boundaries and is a play for power. The same applies if it’s the other way around. You have to respect your partner’s boundaries, too.
When people just start dating, they will sometimes allow their boundaries to be crossed out of fear of rejection. Later on, a line will be drawn. This is unfair to the partner who never had this clearly communicated to them before. If you find yourself in this situation, you should discuss it in a kind and thoughtful way.
In this episode, the vent session topic is: When your partner has poor bedtime manners. Snoring, blanket stealing, and making the room too cold is frustrating and can create tension and conflict. It creates a power imbalance in the relationship, because one person is always compromising their comfort. Nothing is worse than having a bad sleep when your partner wakes up fresh as a daisy.
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