Episode 39: No, Not Everyone is a Narcissist

Next Up: Narcissism

When everyone’s a “narcissist,” what happens to the voices of those truly living through narcissistic abuse? Dr. Z unpacks the misuse of terms like “narcissist” and “narcissistic personality disorder” and how this trend erodes their meaning, which leaves survivors feeling silenced and misunderstood. She explains how narcissistic abuse often hides behind charm and subtle manipulation, making it harder to recognize, and even harder to explain.

How do we spot the red flags? How do we support others without dismissing their pain? Dr. Z answers these questions with clarity, compassion, and insights that will help you better understand this misunderstood topic.

Quotes

• “I need people to understand that when somebody has narcissistic personality disorder, the abuse that goes on in those relationships is on a level that you will not be able to understand unless you have gone through it yourself or unless you specialize in treating it.” (06:27 | Dr. Z)
• “Narcissists are all abusive. Somebody with narcissistic personality disorder is always going to be abusive, whether it’s physical, sexual, financial, emotional, psychological, it doesn’t matter, but they will always be abusive. Not everybody who’s toxic is a narcissist.” (07:24 | Dr. Z)
• “Please don’t minimize the stories of others because you don’t understand. You don’t need to understand to be supportive.” (16:21 | Dr. Z)
• “Love bombing isn’t always a dozen roses every day or luxurious gifts. It’s basically whatever you value most, whatever you’re most passionate about—that is what the narcissist is going to attach onto in the beginning of the relationship.” (17:55 | Dr. Z)
• “You are not obligated to stay connected to somebody who not only is abusive, but who knows they’re abusive and doesn’t care that it’s hurting you as long as they get their needs met.” (32:21 | Dr. Z)

Links

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