Don’t Look For A Third Thing

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This past week, I’ve been wrestling with what it truly means to do good. Not for attention. Not for thanks. Just because it’s the right thing to do. Marcus Aurelius reminds us of three types of people: the ones who expect a reward for their kindness, the ones who keep quiet but still keep score, and the rare few who do good as naturally as a vine produces grapes—no boasting, no pride, no need for applause.

I want to be that third person. But if I’m being honest, I’m not there yet.

This week’s reflection took me into some darker territory—feelings of failure, exhaustion, and a deep lack of purpose. I’m still stuck in a job I don’t love, still unsure of what I’m really striving for. And yet, there’s a small voice reminding me: doing good without needing a reason is a powerful act. Especially when life feels directionless. Especially when no one seems to notice.

I’ve been hard on myself—too hard. I see my flaws more clearly than my progress. I know I’m not where I want to be. But I also know I’m trying. I show up to therapy. I’ve stayed sober. I write. I reflect. I try to live by the principles I admire, even if I fall short more often than I’d like to admit.

This episode is about letting go of the need for external validation. It’s about shifting from doing good to be seen to doing good because it’s who I’m becoming. I don’t feel ready to lead anyone—not even myself some days. But maybe leadership isn’t about confidence or perfection. Maybe it’s about consistency, humility, and quiet service.

If someone is watching me—if someone is following my lead—I want them to see someone who is still trying, even when it’s hard. I want to be a vine that keeps producing grapes, in season, without pride or complaint.

Key Stoic Takeaway
The best kind of leader isn’t loud or proud—they do what’s right, quietly and steadily. Not because they have to. Not because someone’s watching. But because it’s who they choose to be.

Thank you for listening and joining me on my journey of self-discovery!
Mediations and Prompts influenced from The Daily Stoic Books

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