08. Dark intermissions: the case for not choosing the guy that makes the huge effort

Light and Shadow: the podcast

We’ve all been here before - being treated less than desirably by the guy (or girl) who wanted us first. Often times, we think to ourselves, “well, if he’s (/she’s) making such a huge effort, maybe I’ll give it a shot,” only to proven to why you should have never given them any chance in the first place. In this episode of the dark intermission series, I reflect on a recent end to a talking stage and make the case of why we shouldn’t go for the guy (or girl) just because they’re making a big effort. Because effort level is only a reflection of their interest in you, I talk about all the ways, simply focusing on interest and effort is problematic. As I see it, huge strides of effort early on could be just as big a red flag as expressing no interest at all. Let’s have a chat on the three essential levels of moving past the talking stage and taking a closer look as to why effort level isn’t as strong an indication that the relationship will progress past the initial interest as we’d like to think.