HOA Headaches with High Conflict Complaints

It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People

What do you do when a community resident or homeowner calls with complaints as consistently as the sun rises and sets? Some are chronic complainers but easily handled with some attention and/or humor.

But what if you have a persistent complainer who watches the neighbors like a hawk and insists that all homeowners follow HOA regulations to the letter of the law? And complains to HOA management with any and all violations or perceived violations, with expectations of punishment and consequences for the offender, even when it’s about the trash bin that’s left out an extra hour or two?

Is this someone with a high conflict personality? Or does that strict adherence to rules and regulations mean that this person may have an Obsessive Compulsive personality? While we don’t and won’t diagnose – and neither should you – Bill and Megan discuss whether this personality type may be in the Cluster B category (high conflict) or Cluster C category (Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder), and what to do about it if you’re confronted with this behavior in an HOA or anywhere.

Note: Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder and someone with “OCD” are different. We’ll discuss this in this episode.

Links & Other Notes

• BOOKS
  • It’s All Your Fault! 12 Tips for Managing People Who Blame You for Everything
  • Calming Upset People with EAR
  • BIFF: Quick Responses for High Conflict People, Their Personal Attacks, Hostile Emails and Social Media Meltdowns
• ON DEMAND COURSES
  • Conflict Influencer Certification
  • How to Write a BIFF Response
  • The Brain 101: How to Communicate Effectively
• Our website: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/
• Submit a Question for Bill and Megan
• All of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.
• You can also find these show notes at our site as well.

Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior.

• (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault
• (00:34) - Obsessive Compulsive Disorder in Relation to High Conflict Situations
• (01:30) - We've Been Busy
• (04:12) - OCD or OCPD in an HOA
• (07:47) - OCD
• (10:57) - OCPD
• (15:51) - Back to the HOA Situation
• (21:14) - Learning to Manage It
• (24:30) - Family Example
• (26:08) - Will It Resolve?
• (28:38) - Wrap Up
• (28:56) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Apology Quicksand