The podcast about all the hilarious and ridiculous parts of people’s lives in and out of relationships. Join Rachel & Carl, two best mates, one married the other divorced & dating. Both with plenty to say about it.
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#92 - I had to say the safe word, because I couldn’t take any more!
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Dreaming of free travel around the world? We've got the scoop! Rachel introduces an amazing app that lets you globe-trot for free! Our anonymous guest recounts how a failed date night unexpectedly turned into one of the best and longest sexual experiences of their life. Finally, Carl shares his top dating tips and tricks, helping Rachel keep the sp…
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#91 - Why most marriages end in divorce
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Let’s chat about marriage! This week we welcome one of Rachel’s longest friends who shares her unique journey of being the last single friend at 24 and the magical twist that followed! Which leads Rachel into her theory of why so many marriages end in divorce these days! Plus, Carl has discovered the Swingathon festival! $550 for tent sex – would y…
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#90 - “Is scissoring actually a thing?”
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Our anonymous guest this week, shares their story around finding their identity, sexual exploration, and everything in between. From scissoring to extensive toyboxes Carl, the self-proclaimed lesbian porn conisure, gets excited because he finally gets to ask every question about lesbians in the bedroom he's ever dreamed of. Story time! We had a lis…
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London's heat wave has gotten into Rachel’s brain and the 3am wake ups are messing with Carl’s! The wheels are turning, words are flowing, and we turn up the chat! Carl would love to masturbate with a corn cob, Rachel want’s to put botox into her butthole, and someone hes felt what they would describe as an anal rail gun. Rachel’s story this week i…
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Dirty sweaty sex anyone? Are you a pre-sex showerer, or just get in there and do it kind of person? We have another amazing anonymous guest story, where they get a first hand experience at saying grace around the dinner table while enjoying a happy meal. Carl has some questions about ‘fanny’ that he really wants to ask Rachel as a ‘fanny’ owner. Fr…
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#87 - The Sex Party, "I ate so much pussy that night" with Tessa Paisan
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Ever wondered how much protein and vitamin C is in a load of semen? Don’t worry, we've got you! Glory hole roulette or a pussy eating buffet, wondering what goes on at a sex party? Thankfully, we are joined again this week by our good friend Tessa who can fill us in about attending an alien space-themed sex party, where she got to have a lesbian or…
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#86 - "Fingering their boyfriend in front of them"
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Titty mic sucking ASMR, pashing Carls wife, shaved butt holes and fart porn…. After our discussion on cuckholding last week, Rachel just so happened to go out for brunch with a friend who had a story to tell about his experience about a once in a lifetime opportunity involving cuckholding with an incredible view in on of the tallest buildings in Lo…
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#85 - ‘A guy for breakfast, a girl for desert ’ with Tessa Paisan
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Roly poley blowy, 15min wank gap, and everything in between! Another life and sex catch-up with Carl and Rachel before we head into the good stuff! We are joined by the incredible Tessa from LA who opens up about marching to the beat of her own drum, and is so open to all things sexual, plus challenges the status quo! She’s got plenty of stories to…
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#84 - ‘I want to try it with a women before getting married’
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We recap on last weeks dirty talk to see how much Rachel learnt from Carl and see how it went in the bedroom in real life After another week of digging into the archives, we bring up an old chat with award-winning comedian, Nick Rado where the tables turn and he ends up interviewing us! We touch on Carl’s journey to parenthood, self-love, anal, and…
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#83 -How to Dirty Talk -Did That Make Your Seat Wet?
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The grapefruit method has made its way back form the youtube grave! Have you tried it? Will you try it? Rachel needs some help with her dirty talk so turns to ChatGPT to help! Does the robot or Carl help more? We have also dug into the archives and found an amazing story from our friend Emma about dating in Dubai! How would you find this date?! Ins…
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#82 - Communication, Boundaries, and Sex with Ben and Jaz
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Welcome back and thank you for joining us in 2024! We’re so happy to kick this year off back in the studio together as Rachel has been flown back to the country for two months of work, and to tour with her boyfriend 👀 Hear all about her struggles with settling into London, and navigating her first relationship after marriage (5 years ago), and an u…
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#81 - Roadhead hunting How long should you be dating someone before you enter their family chat? We would love to hear your thoughts! This weeks guest, another listener submitted a very adventurous roadhead story, which is absolutely classic! But please, don't try this at home! Then we go way back down memory lane to Rachels's wedding where one of …
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#80 - Anal 101 with Morgan Penn the Sexologist
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You are in for a TREAT with this episode! We are joined by the insanely amazing Morgan Penn, a certified Somatic Sexologist who gives us the best step-by-step guide to easing your way into anal for beginners. She shares some insightful tips and tricks to make this experience a lot less daunting. But first, we are treated to an incredible remix of a…
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#79 - “OMG I pulled his pants down and…”
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Welcome back to another week of unfiltered shit chat! Carl has come up with a twisted game for all the voyagers out there! Could be a bit of fun! Let us know if you're up for it! Rachel has also found a way to really kill the mood when about to get down and dirty, But luckily Carl has put the boots and underwear test to use, and saved the sexy. Our…
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#78 - “My asshole is blinking at him” - Dan Webby - Edge Breakfast
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Ring sting, DIY Sherbert, Icks and Carl naked in Timberlands - welcome back to another week! We are joined by one of our good friends, Dan Webby from the Edge Breakfast show and he shares an interesting story about playing Cops and Robbers with his friends in a loin cloth while having his first sexual awakening. He keeps oversharing about another t…
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We are opening this episode as wide as our legs this week and touch on Manscape Monday - let's all get behind it! We are then treated to an incredible story submitted to us from one of our listeners recounting their first experience stumbling upon an unexpected orgy. Rachel then shared part two of her journey to her relationship, which includes tic…
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#76 - We’re back! With BIG news & maybe some butt stuff
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Despite a few technical hiccups and a thrilling touch of global separation, WE ARE BACK and up to our usual bullshit! Catch up with our adventures of the past few months and brace yourself for Rachel’s massive life update that promises to shake things up! We also tap back into Rachel's "fuck-it" list to see what she achieved before leaving to Londo…
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It’s no longer a pie in the sky, Rachel has booked her flights and is leaving for London. Naturally, Carl wants to make sure she ticks off a few more things on her ‘Fuck It List’ as well as figuring out a way to cover the cost of her flights! Hear the list and what she has less than a month to achieve! But first, we are joined by Troy, who shares a…
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#74 ‘I vomited on his dick’ + Dan Webby on getting pissed on
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Rachel has taken the deep throat tips from last week and put them into practice and you do not want to miss this voice message she left Carl! We are then joined by The Edge Breakfast show host, Dan Webby where he talks about one of the sexual enconters he had with a partner where he agreed to try out a new kink to see if it was something he is in t…
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#73 Deep throating 101 with the Throat Goat
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We’re hitting it at both ends this episode! First, the self-proclaimed deep throat queen joins us to teach us step-by-step on giving the perfect deep throating blowjob! Grab yourself a fallic object and join us in the very detailed training session on going to town on dick. We then explore an incredible top 10 list of things have gotten stuck in th…
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Blowjobs, Botox, and baaaanter really kick the episode off this week. We are then joined by our guest, Ruzbeh, who wanted to come in to talk about situationships, however we got onto an incredible tangent onto the ins and outs of arranged marriages. Then, Rachel has struck in what she found in a time capsule box under her bed! A gift a former boyfr…
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Carl and Rachel have a massive apology to make to each other after their first-ever fight after Rachel is triggered and a trauma response kicks in Rachel shares an experience she recently encountered which has killed off the last living eggs she may have had in her ovaries - Sorry mum, grandkids are fully off the cards now! But first, we hear an am…
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#70 Squirting + Rachel’s Eulogy to her ex + Cam Mansel
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Brace yourself, because there is no foreplay this week! We are straight in there with squirting, Toblerone up butts, and eulogys. Our special guest this week is Cam Mansel, who shares a tale about a night he invited a snapchat contact around and needed to switch the mood up. Surly everyone has been here before?? Then, Rachel opens up about her ther…
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#69 NICE! All things 69 - Our mouths are very full
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Get ready to unleash your inner giggles and raise your maturity levels to an all-time high because it's our 69th episode! Wink, wink We had an absolute blast recording this one, and we promise it's a fun ride! In this special episode, we're joined by our friend Alexander Terblanche, a psycho sexologist who spills the beans on how to take your 69s t…
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#68 ”I got hose, in different area codes”
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Want to know a bit more about what Carl and Rachel enjoy in the bedroom? (not together obviously) Carl has some questions where you can get to know us a little bit more. Our guest this week is none other than our almost 4th member, Tracey, as she shares a great story about her steamy, unforgettable rendezvous with a daring fireman! Carl and Rach th…
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Looking for a fun and exciting first date experience, but don't know where to start? Well, we've got you covered! In this episode, Carl has found the top 10 questions to ask on a first date that will help you get to know your date better and make a lasting impression. But that's not all! We're also excited to introduce you to the amazing owner of K…
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This week we get distracted, as per, and you can hear all about our thoughts on being hungover with kids! Then, we welcome the fabulous Allison Jane to the show to dish out some professional advice on how to handle being ghosted, and the answer may not be what you have thought! Don’t worry, Rachel has you covered, asking the big question on how you…
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#65 Polyamory and friends with benefits
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In love and need something to propose with?! We'll have we got a bargain for you!! You can own a special piece of history and Rachels ring. And we're not talking about her 2022 goals....IYKYK This week we sit down with Terrease to explore the world of polyamory & open relationships as we delve into the intricacies of maintaining a healthy and balan…
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#64 Brodie Kane’s slut era + Why we’ve been absent
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We are back, and addressing the elephant in the room, discussing why we've been away. This will be an emotional episode, as Carl bravely shares a personal and emotional story of what he has been through the last few weeks. We're incredibly proud of Carl for opening up about this, and Rachel even gets a bit teary-eyed during the conversation. We're …
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#63 ‘I think this was my first lesbian experience’
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Get ready for an electrifying new episode! You won't want to miss a second of the action as Carl unveils his brilliant plan to spice things up with your partner, all while keeping your wallet happy. But hold on tight, because things are about to get even juicier! Has Rachel just had her very first lesbian encounter? You'll have to tune in to find o…
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#62 Carl’s wife Heidi in studio + Cream pies & car yards
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This week! What is it about men and women, why do we communicate so differently?! We make no sense to each other! Rachel’s been reading a book called Men are from Mars & Women are from Venus & we are discovering some truths. Link to the video Carl was talking about here, watch it, it could save a relationship, or at least a fight and a slammed door…
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#61 ”You did what in a hospital bed?!”
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What's the weirdest place you've had a wank? This was quite revealing. Just when you thought you'd heard the end of the "Rachels summer fling" saga, we get on the other half of the duo and finally find out who he is and hear things from his side. It's a bit emosh, so grab a tissue. We hear from new mate Liv, who ended up having a one-night stand wi…
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Welcome to Episode 60!!!! Rachel's latest attempt to catch the attention of a celebrity by sliding into Harry Styles' DMs. Will she get a reply? Carl’s daughter is entertained by what non-child toy!? Next, we sit down with a Backstreet Boys super fan who shares the story of the time he took a date to one of the best nights of his life - a Backstree…
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#59 Sharyn & Bryce Casey ‘Are we allowed to F**k on the floor??’
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Welcome to episode 59 of Married Divorced and Dating! (only 10 more until 69 - nice!) In this episode, we are joined by the legendary Bryce and Sharyn Casey, the power couple who have been together for over a decade, to share their experience on how they keep their love alive alongside having children and hectic work schedules. Then we get Rachel’s…
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Get ready for another Married, Divorced and Dating rollercoaster ride! Carl has a shocking confession about what he saw in an adult film that he can't bring himself to tell his wife! Rachel went on a social media rampage. Was she being a Karen, or is there something more sinister afoot? We’d love to hear your thoughts! And if that's not enough exci…
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We are back! 2023 Let’ goooo! We are joined by award winning comedian Nick Rado as he shares a story about the very interesting time he got the ick! (Our catch up with Nick was so great we will have a bonus episode following!) Carl has been busy so being a great father that he’s lost his piss fitness! Has Rachel has changed with a summer romance? -…
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We are back and wrapping it up for another year, in more ways than one! Carl returns after a horrible month of sickness & pain, so naturally, Rachel has been out gathering some stories and tying up some loose ends! Carl has also brought some incredible knowledge and advice to the table on how to stay safe this festive season with making putting con…
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Carl is back at it with his digging to what is happening with Rachel and her mystery man from another country who she has a matching tattoo with, however, she stays tight-lipped as she is afraid of the curse of the podcast! We are joined again by our very close friend, Tyler Christie, who shares an intimate story of the time he and a hook-up were b…
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Well what a doozy of a week! What if you're in a long-term relationship but you’ve got a crush on someone else? After nearly 14 years together with his wife, Carl lets us in and shares his thoughts on how they handle this kind of thing. We welcome back our anonymous friends Anna & Nina to tell the tale of the time they indulged in a full-fledged 5-…
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#53 ”I’ve had 12 Threesomes” + child-free chat
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Curious about having a threesome but don’t know where to start? This week, we’re joined by two anonymous listeners who are seasoned threesome professionals to explain the ins, outs, and all arounds of how to get into and enjoy a threesome! Then we go into the controversial topic of being child-free with our friend Tracey! Rach and Trace chat about …
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#52 Are you even friends if you haven’t seen each other f**k?!
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This week we are joined again by the incredible Julia-Ruth, who shares a story of the time she and her best friend get taken away on a mini getaway where a couple of incidents happen. Carl and Rachel get matching tattoos! And after the fact we figure out Carl will be able to think of Rachel every time he has a wank now! It’s beautiful! We then deep…
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#51 Pegging + Dropping Beats and Wrecking Sheets with Sin Howard and Graham Matthews
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This week we are blessed with the incredible love story of Sin Howard, Drive show host from George FM and Graham Matthews one half of Drum & Bass DJ/Producer duo Lee Mvthews! We talk their friendship morphing into a romantic connection, their first time having sex, big ideas for a WEDDING and sooo much more! We find out why Carls has been using alo…
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#50 Jay-Jay Feeney & Dom Harvey - Separation Goals
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Would you look at that! We are celebrating the BIG FIVE OH!!! 50 Episodes in and we have JAM PACKED it with some chat! We are joined by NZ Radio Royalty Jay-Jay Feeney and Dom Harvey, who chat very openly about their life after marriage. However, it doesn't appear the love ever left. This is an amazing insight into how delightful a break-up can be,…
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Has hell frozen over? Rachel is in a gushing whirlwind, and we’re not sure what's happening. BUT what we do know, Carl is VERY excited to bring in one of his fellow, 'night walkers' and one of Rach's most recent one-night stands in to debrief on what she is calling her last, as she claims, she is now in love…. What?! Our guest Brayden joins us for …
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TRAILER - Ep#19 ”No more charity sex!!”
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Missed it, or remember it was so good you wanna hear it again? Go on, treat yourself. Follow us for more wild & wonderful Instagram: instagram.com/marrieddivorcedanddating/ Rachel’s Instagram: instagram.com/rachelohdear/ Carl’s Instagram: instagram.com/carlpthompson/ Wanna email us a story, we know you’ve got one? mddtales@gmail.com Intro Music: Ne…
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Ok, we admit, we'd had a few drinks when we recorded this. But there's some good science here...You're welcome, we will accept our Nobel prize now. Follow us for more wild & wonderful Instagram: instagram.com/marrieddivorcedanddating/ Rachel’s Instagram: instagram.com/rachelohdear/ Carl’s Instagram: instagram.com/carlpthompson/ Wanna email us a sto…
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DTF? Would you rather, someone is honest with you about their intentions on while you’re talking to them on a dating app? Or go the long way around? We are joined by Gemma, a listener who has reached out wanting to share her brave story of escaping a religion she was bought up in feeling like a round peg in a square hole. A real inspiration to see …
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#47 “Do all pussys feel different?!”
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Vagina Owners! Ever wondered about the shape & feel of your insides?! - Yeah, Rach too - luckily for us, Carl has the answers! This week we’re joined by Ok Cupid's head of global communications - Michael Kaye - he helps people find love all over the world, and with this experience lets us in on some amazing tips and tricks on navigating online dati…
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#46 Jay Reeve - “The more you can take off your partners plate, the more room there is for your meat”
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Lads! Strap in and turn your taringas – and hopefully your ladies – on! Ladies, if you have a significant other, sit down with (or on) them and listen to the incredible relationship and sex advice Jay Reeve is bringing to this episode. As one half a very successful 10yr+ marriage, Jay shares some words of wisdom, and tells us what he has learnt to …
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#45 Rebekah Randell from Shortland Street - “You’ve got to try before you buy”
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Are vegans strictly spitters?? We ask the BIG questions this week… We are joined by Shortland Street actress, Rebekah Randell and get to know her spicy side! How much does she relate to her character Dawn on Shortland Street? She also gives us a GREAT date tip which we will continue to use from now on! You might want to too! Then off the back of ge…
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