111 – Van Helsing

Why Did We Watch This

Our Summer of Failed Franchises (mercifully?) comes to an end with perhaps the most flagrant franchise bait yet, Stephen Sommer’s 2004 monster mash up Van Helsing. That’s right, at long last you can be chilled by terrifying imagery such as Dracula cosplaying as Gerard Way, Hugh Jackman with nightmarishly bad extensions, and a Frankenstein’s monster with a plasma globe jammed into his chest. Listen in as Leigh, Brendan, and Chris try to make sense of these choices, along with topics such as “what the hell is going on with this world building?” and “why do werewolves keeps regenerating tattered modesty pants upon transforming back into humans?” Fittingly, we also enjoy a light summer cocktail as red and bitter as Dracula’s heart. (AHHHHHH if only he had one!)