Episode 20 | Holiday Survival Series: IVF, Sperm Donors & Single Motherhood (By Choice) | Guest: Kari Kristan, Single Mom By Choice (SMBC) to Twin Girls

What Nobody Tells Us

Welcome to the second installent in the What Nobody Tells Us: Holiday Survival Series. Part of holidays "traditions" that many single women in their late-30s and early 40s dread is attending a holiday gathering and being subject to a littany of unsolicited questions, e.g. "How's your dating life? Anyone special in your life? Thinking about settling down? Don't you want a family someday?" Inevitably followed by, "You're not getting any younger!"

Granted, this may be an antiquated version of family questioning but sadly, it still happens (and people really need to mind their own business). The difference today is that many of these single women who haven't yet found the right partner are taking control of their own fertility. So much so, there's a name for it: Becoming a "Single Parent By Choice" and deciding to undergo the in-vitro fertilization (IVF) process.

My guest today, Kari Kristan, is a 44 year-old Single Mom By Choice (SMBC) who proactively underwent fertility treatments in the hopes of becoming a parent. After years of focusing on her career and building her business, yet not finding the right partner, Kari in her mid-30s froze her eggs as a precaution, feeling confident she would meet the right person who would render the eggs moot. She gave herself a deadline of 40 years-old before she would pull the trigger on starting a solo fertility journey.

After her 40th birthday came and went and the pandemic forced the world into lockdown, Kari made the decision at age 41 to kick-start in-vitro fertilization on her own. This episodes details the specificity of that journey. Kari covers it all:

• Her dating experiences IRL and online
• The motivations driving single parenthood and the tipping point
• How her parents' reacted to her single parenthood news
• A detailed description of the egg retrieval/freezing and IVF process
• The surreal yet hilarious experience of selecting an online sperm donor (her criteria, the type of men featured on these sites, the cost of sperm, etc.)
• Kari's mental state going through the IVF journey solo
• Why she REALLY wanted twins, despite being on her own
• The type of support she needed during the process and now that she's a single mom
• Life as a single parent
• Advice for others considering becoming a single parent by choice