Relentless Podcast, Episode 3: What to believe when, “Everything happens for a reason” is no longer reason enough.

This Undone Life Together with Michele Cushatt

There it was again. That phrase. The one intended to bring comfort in a time of chaos.

“Everything happens for a reason.”

They mean well, I tell myself again. Sometimes our pain proves too heavy for loved ones to hold; so they shift under the weight, reaching for the nearest phrase that seems to tie the bloody up with a bow.

But what if there aren’t any cute clichés that can clean up the mess of our brokenness?

What if we don’t receive a clear answer to the question, “Why?” that rings in the audible silence of the aftermath?

What if we never hear a resounding reason for the destruction tragedy left in its wake?

“The truth is, I don’t think I’d be satisfied with easy answers anyway… it would actually dishonor the extent of my suffering. It’s strange, but allowing there to be some mystery is actually a way to honor the significance of my suffering.”

“The truth is, we need more than answers; we need a person. We need more than answers we need Presence. And in the absence of answers, God gives us Himself.”

In chapter one of Relentless, you will read of my faith as a young girl. I recount the hours spent beneath the branches of my favorite Weeping Willow tree, getting to know the God who loved me. Fast-forward, and it would be easy to see only the pain of my story. There are plenty of questions to be asked of a childhood devoid of an available, affectionate father, the recurrence of Cancer, the mothering of three Littles marred by trauma before they were even old enough to resist its attacks. But rewind the story, even before the girl and the Willow, and I’ll introduce you to Dave, the man who led my father to Jesus.

When I go back to the beginning, before all of the suffering and resulting questions, I see God’s hand working through Dave’s invitation to my father. I was able to know Jesus as a young child, because my father’s buddy invited him to church.

And this brings us to Altar Stone #1. I want you to look for evidence of God’s presence in the beginning of your story, and mark it.

“You’re going to need to remember not just the bad things that happened & the pain that happened, but how God’s presence was with you even there.”

As we get real about our suffering in order to discover God’s presence within it, here are two truths for you to cling to when, “Everything happens for a reason,” is no longer reason enough.

2 Truths to Anchor the Shipwrecked Soul:

1. “You & I will never have all the answers we think we need. Ever.” In the case of missing information, our brains seek to fill in the gaps, but surrendering to our lack of control brings a new perspective into sharp focus. The “why” is far less important than the way we walk through suffering, and can even be an enemy to recognizing God’s relentless presence amidst brokenness.

2. Secondly, “A lack of intervention from God doesn’t mean a lack of love or protection or provision from God.” We may never understand his lack of intervention in the hard parts of our stories. And yet, as we learn to accept pain as a reality of the human experience, we are more readily available to recognize God’s provision, protection, and presence amidst even the darkest of days.

“Sometimes the way God delivers those things looks differently than we expected him to, but it’s no less miraculous.”