Parenting an Anxious Heart

The Journey: PCA Parent Podcast

Guest: Erin Williams, LPC, PCA Upper School Counselor, Plano campus

APA defines anxiety as “an emotion characterized by feelings of tension, worried thoughts, and physical changes”.

Exists on a spectrum from everyday “good anxiety” to debilitating clinical anxiety

Anxiety that helps you get things done vs. anxiety that keeps you from doing things

Anxiety demands 2 things

• Certainty: “I have to know whatʼs going to happen next…and I want to control it!”
• Comfort: “I want to feel safe and comfortable…or else I want out!

Our bodies, our brains, our emotions weren’t meant to handle all the information all the time

A world that feels scary and threatening (it has always been like this but not we have access to see school shootings, wars, violence live on social media)

Social media

• “There’s not a single exception. All screen activities are linked to less happiness, and all non-screen activities are linked to more happiness.” Jean Twenge’s article in the Atlantic
• Designed to create anxiety, depression, angst, a sense of urgency, wanting to look & feel different, needing something new
• Teens (and adults) used to exist in small(ish) circles so maybe they were still struggling with comparison to neighbors, peers, teammates, etc. but now they are comparing themselves to EVERYONE, EVERYWHERE … including images, stories, personas that are fake/false/not real.

Parenting positives and negatives in handling anxiety…

• Negative
  • High expectations and pressure to “succeed”
  • Avoidance - worry says to STOP so you have to keep going
  • Not setting limits, boundaries (your job as a parent is to keep your kids safe and healthy -> mind, body & soul)
  • Projecting anxiety onto your children
    • Anxiety is a learned behavior
    • This doesn’t mean don’t be anxious but it does mean that as a parent you need to do the work! (generational trauma/sin)
• Positive
  • Tolerate and normalize discomfort (instead of saving our kids from it)
  • Learn by doing, failing, & succeeding
  • Handle the uncertainty of life -> resiliency
  • Be more flexible -> malleability
  • Problem solve (vs. ruminate)

• Simplify life
• Healthy families: time together, positive communication, appreciation & affection

• Strong biblical foundation & limits on social media
• Teens being spiritually confused + largely influenced by social media = destructive thinking (Center for Bible Engagement)

Books for parents of teens with anxiety

• Parenting the New Teen in the Age of Anxiety (Dr. John Huffy)

Books for parents with anxiety

• Get Out of Your Head (Jenny Allen)

Podcasts

• Flusterclux with Lynn Lyons (non-Christian, but very practical stories that are helpful, more pointed toward clinical anxiety)

2 Corinthians 10:5 “We capture, like prisoners of war, every thought and insist that it bow in obedience to the Anointed One” (TPT).

Special shout out to Jared Wood for allowing us to use his music - check him out at JaredWoodMusic!