Avoidant Spirituality Disorder

The War and Treaty’s Michael and Tanya Trotter grew up in Cleveland, Ohio, and Washington, DC, respectively, but both have family roots in the South. They also grew up in the musical traditions of their churches – Tanya in the Black Baptist Church and Michael in the Seventh Day Adventist Church – where they learned the power of song to move people. After becoming a father at a very young age, Michael eventually joined the armed forces and served in Iraq and Germany, where he took up songwriting as a way of dealing with his experiences there. Meanwhile Tanya embarked on a singing and acting career after a breakthrough appearance in Sister Act 2 alongside Whoopi Goldberg and Lauryn Hill. Now, after a long and sometimes traumatic journey, Michael and Tanya are married, touring, winning all sorts of awards, and set to release their fifth album together, and their fourth as The War and Treaty. Sid talks to Michael and Tanya about the new record, Plus One , as well as their collaboration with Miranda Lambert, what it was like to record at FAME studios in Muscle Shoals, and how they’re blending country, soul, gospel, and R&B. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices…

1
How Shadows Connect to Separation 26:41

منذ يومين26:41

26:41

Scott goes into depth around how his previous shadow modalities and other such modalities do not get to the very root of the shadows, which is emotional repression. He breaks apart the entire process of how we miss it in our direct experience. We miss for example that we create the sense of separation for safety from the emotional repression, and that our resistance to doing skillful shadow work that gets to the repression is a natural extension of this conditioning with us, the demands separation and suffering over freedom and authenticity. There is a way out and Scott explains it. To work directly with Scott, visit https://kiloby.com/scott.…

1
True Love Doesn’t Suffer 40:57

منذ يومين40:57

40:57

In this episode, Scott delves into the complexities of emotional repression and its impact on our relationships. He explores how unmet needs for love, safety, and approval often lie beneath the surface, driving our behavior in unconscious ways. When we enter relationships, we may not even realize that we’re seeking to fulfill these unmet needs, leading to suffering and conflict. As individuals begin to process their buried emotions, they uncover a love rooted in authenticity—one that allows for the full spectrum of feelings to be expressed. This authentic love shifts the dynamics of relationships, transforming them into spaces characterized by peace, wholeness, and flow that arises naturally from the emotional honesty that comes from processing buried emotions. By approaching relationships from this place of authenticity, suffering can give way to genuine connection and fulfillment. If you're interested in working with Scott and want to talk to him for free about his 90-day intensive program, visit https://kiloby.com/scott .…

1
Authentic v 12 Step Recovery 1:25:46

منذ 6 أيام1:25:46

1:25:46

Scott Kiloby & Dan McLintock, the co-founders / developers of the KI, sit down for a podcast discussion about their experience of authentic recovery from addiction (aka resolving their emotional repression) vs what they experienced in 12 Step programs - and their critique of the latter. Come speak to Dan about working with him one on one: https://kiloby.com/dan…

1
Understanding Triggers: The Hidden Root of Our Reactions 33:18

منذ 7 أيام33:18

33:18

In this episode, Scott explores the origins of relationship triggers and the complex interplay between buried emotions and various trauma responses—such as fight, flight, freeze, or fawn—or self-limiting beliefs that arise when we are triggered. These reactions are often protective mechanisms designed to keep us safe from the buried emotions we have yet to confront. However, these very buried emotions also create the triggers that impact our relationships and overall well-being. On a spiritual or healing path, we may mistakenly engage in awareness-based or inquiry processes aiming to avoid these buried feelings, which can unintentionally perpetuate our suffering rather than alleviate it. In this podcast, Scott unpacks the true source of our triggers and illustrates how an overemphasis on these responses can blind us to the deeper issues at play—specifically, the unmet needs from our childhood that connect to these buried emotions. Listeners will gain a greater understanding of how addressing our triggers is essential, yet not sufficient on its own, to truly heal and break free from the patterns that drive our suffering. If you're ready to delve deeper into the roots of your reactions and emotional experiences, this episode offers critical insights for your journey toward authentic healing. To work directly with Scott, visit https://kiloby.com/scott…

1
Is It Safe to Care and Love Deeply? 40:34

منذ 7 أيام40:34

40:34

In this episode, Scott explores the question: Is it safe to care and love deeply? He distinguishes between genuine care and the superficial empathy often confused with it. Genuine care is embodied, arising from the processing of buried emotions and unmet childhood needs. Scott emphasizes that true safety and love are achieved when we confront our trauma and emotional repression. Many struggle with apathy, stemming from unresolved anger, hurt, or sadness, unknowingly fearing the depth of true love. By recognizing this source, we can break free from apathy and embrace our natural state of caring deeply. To work with Scott, come speak to him for a free consultation about his programs by visiting https://kiloby.com/scott .…

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Last Chance to Onboard! 38:36

منذ 10 أيام38:36

38:36

Scott has an important announcement you won’t want to miss. Sign up for his KI Jumpstart Group here: https://kiloby.com/jumpstart.

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Are You Responsible for the Bad in Others? 19:10

منذ 11 يومًا19:10

19:10

Join Scott in this thought-provoking episode as he tackles the complex question: Are we responsible for the bad in others? Delving into emotional repression, Scott explores how buried anger made him fixate on the bad in others. While acknowledging the real issues and suffering present in the world, Scott aims to help listeners understand how emotional repression contributes to dualities of good and bad. He addresses a listener's question about the listener's sense of responsibility for others' suffering. The sense of responsibility for others' emotional experiences arises from our own unprocessed emotions and codependency. Scott also invites you to join his Jumpstart Group starting March 1st—a one-month program designed to help you process buried emotions safely in present awareness: [https://kiloby.com/jumpstart](https://kiloby.com/jumpstart)…

1
Joy and Free Inquiry 32:58

منذ 16 يومًا32:58

32:58

Scott shares his vision for ‘freedom at all costs’ without the financial and health costs of spiritual bypassing and for his teaching overall in 2025 and beyond. See the free resources below. Save these resources in your own playlist because more are coming. Watch for new short videos on Scott’s social media channels showing you these 1D and 2D tools (explained in this episode) and how to use them. Free inquiry from KI: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL_wpNzMrtFSHxgcpmGh-05aX79UYdtbEO&si=GtUdxXXOLPxjT75D Free Nonduality (Watch first four videos at least): https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL_wpNzMrtFSE8LVwJ1m0HvczyrphrEM8y&si=GgExcGgBP9Eh-FiL…

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I Need Your Love But I’m Afraid of It 36:17

منذ 16 يومًا36:17

36:17

In this podcast, Scott simplifies seemingly complex topics such as avoidant or anxious attachment styles, unmet needs, and other forms of suffering at the surface, connecting them to some very basic conditioning in the body that can be summed up as "I need your love, but I'm afraid of it." If you resonate with the topic of this episode and are interested in joining Scott's March Jumpstart group to learn about emotional repression inquiry, or if you'd like to talk to Scott for free about potentially working with him in his one-on-one 90-day intensive program, visit [https://kiloby.com/jumpstart](https://kiloby.com/jumpstart).…

1
Beginning Authentic Recovery from Addiction 20:13

منذ 17 يومًا20:13

20:13

In preparation for Scott's upcoming podcast with co-developer Dan McLintock on the critique of the 12-step program, Scott explains what authentic recovery means for him. He shares that his journey began only when he started processing the buried emotions that were creating his addictions. The K I Way of recovery is different from many forms of recovery or addiction treatment in the world, but it is supported by a lot of science and leading thinkers, which Scott discusses in this episode. This conversation aims to guide listeners on a different journey into authentic recovery from addiction. If you're interested in joining Scott's March group jumpstart or talking to him about joining his one-on-one 90-day intensive program, visit [https://kiloby.com/jumpstart](https://kiloby.com/jumpstart).…

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The Cost of True Freedom—A Radical Conversation with Toshi Matsunaga 52:49

منذ 19 يومًا52:49

52:49

In this exciting episode of the podcast, Scott is thrilled to welcome his co-author and fellow KI co-developer and trainer, Toshi Matsunaga. Scott and Toshi co-authored the book *Awake but Sick: The Myth of Immediate Freedom and the Dangers of Spiritual Seeking and Finding.* They've worked closely together for years developing and simplifying KI emotional repression inquiry. Together, they've explored specifically how spiritual bypassing manifests in spiritual practices, pointers, and frameworks. Their book delves into this topic in detail, supported by scientific insights, and now they want to share their knowledge with you on this podcast. Toshi is set to emerge as a non-duality teacher, guiding individuals in recognizing present-moment awareness and processing buried emotions for genuine transformation. To work with Toshi, book a clarity call here: https://kiloby.com/toshi. Sign up for Toshi's monthly non-duality and KI workshop here: https://kiloby.com/nonduality-ki.…

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Empathetic Needism in Social Media 35:15

منذ 22 يومًا35:15

35:15

Scott was falling asleep one night while listening to something on YouTube when he suddenly woke up to something appalling. He heard a social media influencer, who is very popular but struggles with anger repression, bamboozling her entire audience by not owning her anger repression. Instead, she acted overly empathetic to lure in and maintain her following. Scott, recognizing the profound impact of this behavior, felt compelled to wake up and record this podcast to share the true motivation for his work in KI and explain how it represents a different modality. Listen closely to learn how to dissolve narcissism instead of placing blame on others. To speak with Scott for free about his 90-day intensive, visit Colin [kiloby.com/scott](https://kiloby.com/scott). Please read Scott's blog on Medium: https://medium.com/@skiloby/needism-the-more-unconscious-we-are-the-more-narcissistic-we-behave-dc63b6cbcf6d.…

1
Authenticity Builds Trust 31:16

منذ 24 يومًا31:16

31:16

In this episode, Scott dives deep into building trust through authenticity. He addresses a question from an audience member who is considering engaging in KI but feels hesitant about trusting Scott and the method. Scott shares his own experiences with distrust, which stem from buried anger, and emphasizes that self-trust has been a crucial aspect of his personal journey. He explains that all trust issues ultimately relate back to self-trust, highlighting how emotional repression can hinder our ability to express our true feelings and, consequently, trust others. Scott uses the questioner's concerns to explore trust as an internal process, stressing that genuine trust is developed through processing buried emotions. Authentic relationships emerge from this exploration of self. If you're interested in joining Scott's group Jumpstart in March or want to consider working with him one-on-one, visit https://kiloby.com/jumpstart .…

1
Why Avoidants REALLY Cheat 32:23

منذ 27 يومًا32:23

32:23

In this episode, Scott explores the hidden dynamics of avoidant attachment style and why individuals may cheat in relationships. This episode is a result of many people asking Scott about the common infidelity among spiritual teachers and how they often don’t address it directly and maturely. Many people have also asked Scott about their cheating spouse or their own history of infidelity, blind to the roots of such behavior. He discusses how unmet emotional needs from childhood often lead to deceptive behaviors and emphasizes that buried emotions, if unacknowledged, can result in cycles of guilt and shame. Scott highlights that individuals who cheat may later feel overwhelming guilt or shame and an urgent need to hide or apologize, showcasing the internal struggles tied to unprocessed feelings. By addressing the roots of infidelity, Scott provides valuable insights into the emotional complexities that drive such behaviors and the way out of this suffering. To work directly with Scott, visit https://kiloby.com/scott…

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The Burial and Resurrection of Sigmond Freud 42:03

منذ 29 يومًا42:03

42:03

In this episode, Scott delves into the intricate factors that shape human motivation and behavior, drawing insights from his recent blogs on Medium. He discusses how our genes, environment, cultures, and conditioning are inseparable, but emphasizes the often-overlooked role of emotional repression in our suffering. The episode examines various perspectives on suffering, including theories from Sigmund Freud, Anna Lembke, and Donald Hoffman. Each offers unique insights, but Scott urges listeners to recognize that merely analyzing these theories isn't enough. True change comes from actively processing buried emotions. Scott also touches on non-dual traditions that challenge the idea of separation, suggesting that recognizing our interconnectedness can alleviate suffering. He calls for a shift from survival mode to thriving, encouraging listeners to embrace emotional responsibility and seek deeper connections with themselves. To join Scott's monthly KI Jumpstart group or to come and speak to Scott for free if you're interested in working with him and his one-on-one 90-day intensive, visit https://kiloby.com/jumpstart. To read Scott’s blog on Medium called The Burial and Resurrection of Sigmond Freud, visit https://medium.com/@skiloby/the-burial-and-resurrection-of-sigmund-freud-the-impact-of-ignoring-emotional-repression-in-therapy-dd42651a5938.…

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Scott Kiloby’s Podcast - Natural Recovery from Suffering « » Avoidant Spirituality Disorder

Avoidant Spirituality Disorder

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Scott Kiloby’s Podcast - Natural Recovery from Suffering « »
Avoidant Spirituality Disorder