How Unconditional Love Helps Us Recover from Our Deepest Wounds

Need A Lift? with Tim Shriver

We’ve all been wounded (some more than others) and “we’re all in need of recovery,” Killian Noe says. After four decades of working with people healing from all kinds of addictions, she has found that the most powerful support we can offer is a caring community where people can show up fully as themselves, without judgment.

In 2003 in Seattle, Killian co-founded Recovery Cafe, a community center that provides everything from meals to barista training to medical care to people in recovery. Guided by the truth that every human being is precious and worthy of love, the cafes appoint “ministers of presence” whose focus isn’t to fix the person in front of them but to sit with them and listen to their story. Killian talks with Tim about how presence shows up in her own life, guiding him through what she calls “a practice of return to unconditional love,” an exercise that helps her deal with shame, anger, and pain. “At any point in the day, [I can] return to that place of unconditional love… where my true identity lies,” Killian says.

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Killian Noe is the founding director of Recovery Cafe. Before starting Recovery Café in 2004 with Ruby Takushi, Killian co-founded Samaritan Inns, a nonprofit in Washington, D.C. which provides transitional and longer-term drug- and alcohol-free, community-oriented housing for people recovering from homelessness, addiction, and other mental health challenges. She has written about Samaritan Inns in Finding Our Way Home and about Recovery Café in Descent Into Love.

Learn how to bring a Recovery Cafe to your town or city at recoverycafenetwork.org. Killian’s team will provide the training, support and all of the community you need.

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Our theme music was written by Andy Ogden and produced by Tim Lauer, Andy Ogden and Julian Raymond. All other music that you hear in this episode is courtesy of Epidemic Sound.

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