Room for reimagining masculinity 🤝Onyango Otieno, Nyumbani

Get Together

Note: we will discuss sexual assault in this episode and advise our listeners to practice discretion in tuning in.

“Everybody's story is valid. The fact that people feel they cannot speak up about their own pain is my motivator.” - Onyango Otieno

At twenty years old, Onyango Otieno was the victim of sexual assault and found he had no where to turn. In Kenya, as in many other societies, the patriarchal structure turns a blind eye to the sexual experiences of men. Men are socially conditioned to hold in their pain.

Because of his background as a storyteller, Onyango instead began writing about his experience. In sharing his story on Facebook and Twitter, he found “some kind of liberation.”

Onyango continued exploring African masculinity and advocating for mental health, and eventually put up a post sharing that he was starting a WhatsApp-based mental health support group.

Over 200 people raised their hands to join him there.

Onyango put these folks into two groups and offered some basic community guidelines that allowed members to define the space the way they wanted. Today they call these groups Nyumbani, which is Swahili for “home.”

We talked with Onyango about structuring a community support group starting with community guidelines and his personal self-care as he leads people to unpack trauma.

Highlights, inspiration, & key learnings:

• Sending a signal. Onyango sent a call for men who wanted to join a support group.
• Watering hole. Gathering on WhatsApp and creating community guidelines.
• Healing circles. A participatory shared activity where men share stories of sexual assault, often for the first time.
• Self-care. Onyango’s practices to check in with his emotions.

👋🏻Say hi to Onyango ([e-mail]) and learn more about Nyumbani

✨Say hi to Whitney Ogutu, “Get Together” correspondent.

📄See the full transcript.

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