When Christians Harm You

Elevate Your Day with Andi and Brian Hale

One of the most devastating pathways into mid-faith crisis is being harmed by the church, by Christian leaders, or by Christian communities. If you’ve experienced this, it’s hard to know which end is up. But even here, you’re not alone.

Galatians 5:22-23 ESV
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.

If you ask a group of people what single factor shook their faith the most, you’ll likely hear devastating stories of Christian churches, institutions, and individuals who claimed to represent God but did the work of evil instead. It’s impossible to miss these tales, for they are all around us. Viral podcasts tell of the damaged congregants who trusted a pastor who was unveiled as a narcissistic abuser. Books expose the ugly underbelly of non-profit organizations and Christian communities that did far more harm than good. Therapist offices fill with people trying to recover from the harm done in the name of God.

It all adds up to a crisis. If we trusted someone to lead us to Jesus, and they took us to the valley of evil instead, what do we do now? Do we give up trying to find Jesus, too broken and traumatized to continue? Or do we look for new guides when our ability to trust and discern is so shaken?

Exodus 34:6 ESV
The Lord passed before him and proclaimed, “The Lord, the Lord, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness,

There are no easy answers to this shattering, this faith crisis. But one place to start may be remembering what the Bible says God looks like: gracious, compassionate, slow to anger, abounding in steadfast love, merciful. And what the Bible says God’s people look like: filled with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

Friend, if you have been harmed by Christians or the church, please seek the safety and help you need. And when you’re ready, ask yourself: What would it look like to find heroes and leaders known for their gentleness, their goodness, their compassion, their self-control? What would it look like to become that sort of hero?