12: Lead by example

BE TRUE BE HAPPY BE YOURSELF WITH YUKI MIYAKI

Transcript for Ep12

Welcome to Be True, Be Happy, Be Yourself show, I'm Yuki Miyaki. In this episode, I will be sharing with you about parenting

Don’t just tell your children not to play with mobile phones.

There goes a Japanese saying, “Children grow up looking at their parents’ reflection.” In fact, this sentence expresses the true meaning of education. As a business woman, I am always busy with work and career. When I come home, I am usually busy with house work. As a result, I leave my child’s education to their teachers or nanny. However, one must know that schoolwork, knowledge and skills can be handed over to others. However, it is the responsibility of parents to cultivate our child’s thinking and beliefs. Your words and deeds are an example for children to learn from. How can a mother who likes to slide her mobile phone brings up a child who loves to read? The theme topic I want to share with you today is, "Example is better than precept: Don't just tell children not to play mobile phones". Lead by example

There was one night when my husband, two daughters and I were chatting together. While chatting, we asked our daughters what kind of boyfriends they want when they grow up. My eldest daughter’s answer shocked us, "Well~ he has to be good at singing and also loves to play sports," she told us. "Also ! He has to be a smoker." After hearing this sentence, my husband and I were really frightened! We immediately said, “Girl, why do you want a boyfriend who smokes?!" "Because I want to find a boyfriend like my daddy, he can sing, love sports, and smoke."

My husband and I looked at each other unanimously, and deeply understood that children will treat their parents as idols and learning example. Whether it is good or bad, they will accept everything. Let me share a short story about me and my second daughter, Miyumi. I do not remember exactly when but I found that children learn all kinds of life skills and communication methods through their parents. I remember once, Miyumi told me that her school is about to have a performance, and the students had disagreements during the rehearsal practice. What surprised me was that she actually knew how to coordinate and integrate the students, and finally everyone worked together as a team to complete the rehearsal and performance. I am curious where did Miyumi learn it?

"I see how you and daddy leads your team and I learned it too. I applied the method on my friends ! I asked everyone to rehearse with the same goal, and they performed perfectly on stage." I discovered that children look up to the way we deal with people, whether in life or work, and they will learned apply it to their own lives.

Another time, Miyumi went to practice as a tuition teacher. I was surprised as I saw my reflection in her. Whether it was her patience and concern for children, or the principle of time concept, the attitude of being serious about work and enjoying it , are all reflecting me. It was really surprising and I felt so proud.

From children's behavior, I discovered that leading by example is surely better than setting rules. As they have a pure mind just like a sponge. Whatever is given will be absorbed and they will start to act the same way.

For educating our children in life, I think the following three are the key factors which are very important:

1. Do as you promised，promise only if you can do.

For example, my eldest daughter told me she wants a boyfriend who smokes because my husband is a smoker. If we don’t want our daughter to have a boyfriend who smokes, my husband have to quit smoking. If we ask her to read more books and avoid playing with mobile phones all the time, we as parents should start picking up books and read them too.

Consistency of words and deeds is the most basic example of teaching.

2. Giving children the correct mindset.

Knowledge can be taught by teachers, but children’s behaviour depends on their parents teaching. Therefore, it is necessary to in still the correct thinking and life philosophy in children frequently. When they are found to have deviations in their mind, they must be guided immediately. As the saying goes, “Stamp out the root of trouble.” It applies to the education of children too. To teach them and apply the right mindset since young.

3. One must be a dragon for their child to be one.

Many parents hope that their children will become a successful wealthy person in the future. To become a leader, millionaire and etc. While we have high hopes on our children, reflect ourselves. Are we improving and still learning to become a better person? Remember, you are the idol and learning example of your children.

When we realise our children’s behavioral traits, whether it was their strengths or weaknesses, they are actually reflecting the traits of their parents. Children are mirror of their parents, which is why children are known to be the teachers of their parents. If you want to cultivate and bring up a good child, please excel harder in life. As we will always be someone they look up to

I hope that by sharing my story, will inspire you have happy and healthy parenting.

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I look forward to seeing you in my next episode where I will be sharing with you more stories about my life and how you can Be True, Be Happy and Be Yourself!

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