Secrets of Sex and Marriage with Shaunti Feldhahn

Art of Spousing

In this episode James and Lisa have a conversation with Shaunti Feldhahn, co-author of the book "Secrets of Sex and Marriage." The episode tackles one of the most taboo topics in most relationships - Sex in marriage. Shaunti and her co-author, renowned sex therapist Michael Sytsma, spent three years and $120,000 on a research project involving interviewing over 5,300 people, leading to major surprises and aha moments. They identified the little things that make a big difference in making marriage sex work. The episode reveals how communication is crucial and how making people understand the differences in desire and addressing underlying issues can bring freedom and growth in a relationship. With the book designed to be read together, Shaunti believes that "Secrets of Sex and Marriage" can help couples understand each other better and feel validated.

"Communication is the elephant in the room - the topic we avoid because of its awkwardness. Despite having close friends, we rarely address it with them. It’s the only issue we never speak about, leading to the creation of myths and misunderstandings which guide our actions. If we don’t learn to communicate with our partners, these myths will keep us from true understanding."

Topics discussed:

- How intimacy in marriage is the least talked-about topic

- Research on the little things that make a big difference in making marriage intimacy work

- Communication gaps and misunderstandings and how they impact intimacy

- Understanding the differences in desire

- Establishing signals or cues for willingness to engage in sexual activity

- The church as a safe place for difficult conversations, and the creation of a curriculum on intimacy in marriage

Resources:
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Other episodes you'll enjoy:
Practising the Art of Spousing

Guest Resources:
Websites: shaunti.com, secretsofsexandmarriage.com
IG: @shauntifeldhahn
FB: Shaunti Feldhahn

Shaunti's Books:

• Secrets of Sex and Marriage: 8 Surprises That Make All the Difference
• FOR WOMEN ONLY: What Men Think 98% of the Time: What You Need to Know about the Inner Lives of Men. What You Need to Know About How Guys Think
• For Men Only, Revised and Updated Edition: A Straightforward Guide to the Inner Lives of Women
• Thriving in Love and Money: 5 Game-Changing Insights about Your Relationship, Your Money, and Yourself

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Website: artofspousing.com
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IG: @artofspousing
James IG: @thejamesduvall
Lisa IG: @lisaduvall

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