Holding The Fort Abroad podcast

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تمت الإضافة منذ قبل three أعوام

المحتوى المقدم من Rhoda Bangerter. يتم تحميل جميع محتويات البودكاست بما في ذلك الحلقات والرسومات وأوصاف البودكاست وتقديمها مباشرة بواسطة Rhoda Bangerter أو شريك منصة البودكاست الخاص بهم. إذا كنت تعتقد أن شخصًا ما يستخدم عملك المحمي بحقوق الطبع والنشر دون إذنك، فيمكنك اتباع العملية الموضحة هنا https://ar.player.fm/legal.

<div class="span index">1</div> <span><a class="" data-remote="true" data-type="html" href="/series/fiasco-3620729">Fiasco</a></span>

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Fiasco

إلغاء الاشتراك

منذ 4 أياممنذ 4d ago

إلغاء الاشتراك

شهريا

Host Leon Neyfakh transports listeners into the day-to-day reality of our country's most pivotal historical events, bringing to life the forgotten twists and turns of the past while shedding light on the present. Benghazi unpacks the 2012 attack in Libya that left four Americans dead, including Ambassador Chris Stevens—and the ensuing political storm, which raised questions about America’s role in the world, established a playbook to weaponize attention in the social media age, and ultimately changed the course of U.S. history. Iran-Contra exposes a secret war, a secret deal, and a scandal that threatened to destroy Ronald Reagan’s presidency—until it didn’t. Bush v. Gore recounts what happened during the contested 2000 election between Al Gore and George W. Bush, and the extraordinary legal battle that unfolded in Florida. Subscribe to Pushkin+ to hear the entire season of Fiasco: Benghazi, ad-free. Find Pushkin+ on the Fiasco show page in Apple Podcasts or at Pushkin.fm. Subscribe on Apple: apple.co/pushkin Subscribe on Pushkin: pushkin.fm/plus

Holding the Fort Abroad

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Holding the Fort Abroad is the podcast for expats with travelling partners. Discover how families find creative ways to maintain relationships when one partner/parent works away more frequently, whilst the non-travelling parent juggles responsibilities at home amid their own pursuits. Through deep and often humorous conversations, my guests - experienced expats, therapists and researchers share their wisdom with us all. Even without a travelling partner, you’ll find valuable gifts here for your life abroad. Find out more...

79 حلقات

Holding the Fort Abroad

updated منذ 11 يومًا

منزل السلاسل•Feed

79 حلقات

كل الحلقات

Holding the Fort Abroad

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#78 Personal Update - Holding on through Rapids -with Rhoda Bangerter 15:14

منذ 11 يومًا15:14

التشغيل لاحقا

قوائم

إعجاب

احب

15:14

Synopsis: This episode is more of a personal episode as our family has been through a huge transition this year. I was also contemplating that it was a complex transition with more than one change going on over this summer. I share an update but also what I found most helpful. Application of the 5 Pillar Framework during Transitions Personal Well-being: tracking sleep, 30 minutes ‘brain reset’, checking in on personal needs, blood tests for mineral deficiencies and stress markers Couple Relationship: coping with limited time together, focus on logistics and admin, balancing intensity and connection Parenting: supporting children (especially teens) through transitions, creating open space for emotional sharing Transitions: acknowledging the challenge and normalizing the stress that comes with it Emergencies: dealing with unexpected issues (e.g., canceled flight tickets, administrative challenges), learning the value of resilience and stubbornness. Contact Rhoda on rhoda@amulticulturallife.com Receive news regularly on new episodes of HTFA Podcast and on new events and resources. Subscribe to my newsletter. Buy the book: Holding the Fort Abroad Your partner's job opportunity in another country seemed like an exciting idea, but lengthy work assignments mean you're holding down the family fort - alone. OR Your partner is working and living in another country, and you feel like you are shouldering all the home responsibilities alone. You may be wondering: How can we be a family when we're miles apart? Can I cope, alone, when troubles arise? I believe there are answers to the above questions, and the answers start with you. In this context, it's more important than ever to invest in yourself, to care for yourself, to set your own goals and to watch yourself grow. Equally important is to nurture your relationship with your partner and learn to parent together.…

Holding the Fort Abroad

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#77 August Announcement - with Rhoda Bangerter 2:39

منذ 7 weeks2:39

2:39

This is a quick announcement to let any new listeners know that I traditionally do not publish new episodes in August. It gives me a chance to pause a bit and it also gives you the opportunity to listen to previous episodes, especially if you can only listen to one every so often. You can search the episodes by topic on my website rhodabangerter.com/podcast for example mums who travel or transitions or split location. There will be more episodes in French as an opportunity arises. I record them. They are numbered F1,F2 etc If you are with the kids on summer holidays alone then episode 50 is for you with a reminder to make memories and make the time work for you too not just for your kids. I'm grateful this year to have been ranked #35/100 in Feedspot's 100 best expat podcasts . It's a great recognition of the impact of the podcast and also of what we are living when geographical separation or a parent travels for work As a family, we are on another split location. I can't give you as many details as last time when I wrote a whole book about it but rest assured I am taking notes and will share when possible. Especially now as we live it with teenagers. If you haven't signed up for my newsletter then you can go to the link . This will keep you informed of new episodes and new resources coming out. Remember wherever you are, wherever your partner is you are not alone. Buy the book: Holding the Fort Abroad…

Holding the Fort Abroad

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#76 Breaking Stigma of Men's Emotions and How to Build Supportive Habits - with Chris Moyer 36:10

منذ 9 weeks36:10

36:10

Synopsis: Men and emotions, a topic that often goes unspoken. This conversation offers insights and practical advice for men struggling to navigate their feelings—especially against the backdrop of expat life and being away from family for work. We discuss loneliness, anger, anxiety, guilt. Whether you’re a man living abroad, a partner supporting one, or simply interested in emotional wellness across cultures, this episode brings actionable tips, and hopeful encouragement for the journey. Chris Moyer is a leader in Third Culture Kid care. He brings years of experience in coaching, counseling, and supporting expatriates. He currently lives with his family in France. “I think your average man may not necessarily feel the need for a discussion like this, but the reality is that men and women are emotional beings and part of our overall health is emotional wellness. And so finding a way to bridge that gap is really important and something that I'm quite passionate about.” KEY THEMES: 1. Men and Emotional Expression Rhoda and Chris explore the unique challenges men face around acknowledging, understanding, and expressing emotions—particularly in the context of expat and globally mobile lifestyles. Chris highlights how men often lack “permission” to be emotional, with social norms limiting emotional discourse mainly to anger. , “Many of us have learned one way or another that as men, emotions are typically not okay. They’re a sign of weakness. 2. The Importance of Emotional Health Emotional health is tied to overall wellbeing and healthy relationships. The conversation compares emotional self-care to physical health maintenance—a proactive, ongoing practice rather than only a reactive one. 3. Navigating Difficult Feelings Abroad Living abroad, especially for men, can intensify feelings such as loneliness, guilt, anxiety, and resentment. Chris shares his personal experience with loneliness when his family travels, and they discuss how these emotions are often magnified by distance or the transient nature of expat life. 4. Overcoming Stigma and Building Support Chris speaks on the stigma men face seeking support (from friends or professionals) for emotions like anxiety or guilt. Men often struggle to find spaces or relationships that allow honest emotional conversation, as “fixing” is the default response from others. 5. Family & Cultural Impact The role of upbringing, culture, and family dynamics is discussed, including how societal expectations shape the emotional lives of men and perpetuate certain patterns (or help break them in the case of intentional parenting). 6. Actionable Tips & Resources Permission & Awareness: The first step for men is granting themselves permission to feel and name emotions. Relationships & Mentors: Cultivating close, trusted friendships and finding mentors can create spaces for vulnerability. Intentionally build a core support group, especially as a transient expat. This can sometimes take years. Normalise emotional conversations among men, and don’t be afraid to seek or offer presence rather than solutions. “ it's more about a way of life. To me it's about checking in with myself regularly. And so part of that is I've got a mentor who I meet with on a regular basis, somebody who's walked a very similar way of life, who's a dear friend, but also a mentor who just listens and encourages” Physical Activity: Movement and exercise are powerful tools for managing emotional stress and processing feelings. “Making sure that we're taking care of our bodies is critical, it doesn't solve all of our emotional stuff, but it does get out a lot of some of the angst that we can be feeling.” Proactive Self-Care: Routinely checking in with yourself and your support network is key—don’t wait until emotional “warning lights” flash. Proactively prepare emotionally before relocating or traveling for extended periods. “ how are you building into your emotional health in a proactive way? If you're doing that, I think you're going to have what you need around you to help you when the crisis comes. Because crises come, that's just part of life” Professional Help: Sometimes professional support is essential, and there’s no shame in seeking it. “Part of the human journey is learning how to relate to myself, and then how I relate to others, whether it’s my emotions or theirs.” Resources mentioned in this episode: Top Tip Sheet: How To Manage Intense Emotions Book The Winding Road to Portugal: 20 Men from 11 Countries Share Their Stories: Ross, Louise: 9781905597994: Amazon.com: Books Holding the Fort Podcast Episodes on Emotions Episode #49: Tapping and managing emotions Episode #43 : Related emotional wellness topics Contact Chris Moyer on his LinkedIn Page https://www.linkedin.com/in/chris-j-moyer/ Receive news regularly on new episodes of HTFA Podcast and on new events and resources. Subscribe to my newsletter. Buy the book: Holding the Fort Abroad Your partner's job opportunity in another country seemed like an exciting idea, but lengthy work assignments mean you're holding down the family fort - alone. OR Your partner is working and living in another country, and you feel like you are shouldering all the home responsibilities alone. You may be wondering: How can we be a family when we're miles apart? Can I cope, alone, when troubles arise? I believe there are answers to the above questions, and the answers start with you. In this context, it's more important than ever to invest in yourself, to care for yourself, to set your own goals and to watch yourself grow. Equally important is to nurture your relationship with your partner and learn to parent together.…

Holding the Fort Abroad

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#75 How to: Frequent Business Travel, Parenting and Partnership – with Daniela Draugelis 53:07

منذ 11 weeks53:07

53:07

Synopsis: As the spouse of a World bank executive for over 30 years, Daniela Draugelis has experienced firsthand the unique challenges and growth that come with raising a family while navigating extended work travel, often more than 100 days a year. Daniela is an intercultural trainer, a certified professional coach and cultural intelligence facilitator with over 20 years of experience living and working across cultures. Today, she helps expats, diplomats and internationally mobile families thrive through coaching and training that blends cultural intelligence, energy, leadership, and deep personal insight. In the children’s early years, Daniela’s husband was absent for periods of travel lasting 4-5 weeks, repeated absences from when children were newborns to age six or seven. Later years: transition to more local/domestic weekly travel; changes in family rhythm Emotional and Practical Impact of Early Years Absences Daniela’s experience of isolation: living outside her home country, lack of support system, balancing professional life, childcare, and household responsibilities during husband’s absences. Impact of child’s health condition (breath holding spells) on couple’s decision that Daniela would pause her career to focus on her child’s health. Importance of local friendships and informal support networks Examples of reaching out to neighbors for help (especially during illness) Using calendars and stickers to help young children understand the duration of absences Rituals for departure and return: airport drop-offs/pick-ups as a family routine. Managing children’s expectations and emotions around time and connection Brief conversations with young children. Mainly Daniela’s husband consistently made the effort to be involved with children’s lives and to never miss major milestones Navigating Reentry and Shifting Dynamics Jet lag and fatigue upon return Challenges for Daniela switching between solo-parenting and co-parenting Maintaining authority and involvement for both parents Establishing and Preserving Father-Child Bonds Deliberate decision to let “fishing” be a special dad-and-children activity Creating unique touchpoints for father-child connection that persist into adulthood Children’s current relationships with their father strong bonds no lasting resentment In children’s older years, the rhythm of travel changed. Availability of household help, school routines, and after-school activities easing stress for Daniela Focus on family time during reunions, sometimes at the expense of couple time Reflection on the need for intentional couple routines and conversation Challenges in maintaining both professional and marital identities for Daniela Daniela’s return to Personal and Professional Fulfillment Volunteering, skill-building, and staying engaged while not formally employed Transition into new career as a coach and intercultural facilitator Hindsight and Lessons Learned Wish for more guidance and support in earlier years The value of not feeling alone, and building routines for smoother transitions Importance of discussing changes and keeping the traveling partner updated on family life Resources mentioned in this episode: The ICAN Model, developed by Dr Ken Canfield stands for Intentional Involvement, Consistency, Awareness, Nurturing, This model works well for parenting at a distance and can be supported by both parents. Read more about it here How the ICAN Model Helps Families Stay Connected When One Parent Travels - Rhoda Bangerter How to contact Daniela Draugelis Connect with her on LinkedIn Visit her website: Cultural Pathways Receive news regularly on new episodes of HTFA Podcast and on new events and resources. Subscribe to my newsletter. Buy the book: Holding the Fort Abroad Your partner's job opportunity in another country seemed like an exciting idea, but lengthy work assignments mean you're holding down the family fort - alone. OR Your partner is working and living in another country, and you feel like you are shouldering all the home responsibilities alone. You may be wondering: How can we be a family when we're miles apart? Can I cope, alone, when troubles arise? I believe there are answers to the above questions, and the answers start with you. In this context, it's more important than ever to invest in yourself, to care for yourself, to set your own goals and to watch yourself grow. Equally important is to nurture your relationship with your partner and learn to parent together.…

Holding the Fort Abroad

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#74 Work, Love, Distance: Real Strategies For Couples Living Apart – with Pascale 18:00

منذ 13 weeks18:00

18:00

Synopsis: Today my guest is Pascale. She and her husband are living in different countries and working in different countries and she's going to share a little bit what it's been like for her, what they've put in place and just how it works for them to encourage listeners, anyone who's living and working in different countries. We always decide together which assignment is best for the family. We don't have any children so it's easier but we need to mind our dual careers. 00:26:17 - 00:26:30 Highlights from today’s episode: 1. **Mutuality Over Martyrdom** Pascale and her husband operate as a “winning team.” Each time one scales back for the other, it’s for the health of the bigger “us,” not as an IOU to lord over each other later. “Dual career needs dual involvement,” she says. “You can't do things on your own…it needs to be a winning team.” 2. **Your Network Is Your Lifeline** In each new country, Pascale sought out expat associations, not just for information about “where to shop” but, crucially, to ease the transition. Locally embedded friends and colleagues who “lift you up” are an emotional and practical anchor, especially when time zones and travel get in the way. 3. **Relentless Communication - Even on Call** With modern technology, they don’t let days go by without checking in—even if it’s just a quick chat to share their day. The only time they miss If she’s on call” Pascale says. 4. **Redefining Milestones and Celebrations** When you inevitably miss a birthday or family gathering, you don’t wallow: you reschedule, adapt, and invent new rituals. “Sometimes you can move things around—so you have to adapt.” 5. **Reframing Criticism** When faced with skepticism (“Why be together at all?”), Pascale notes that having supportive friends—often fellow expats who “know the problematics”—makes a world of difference. Find your tribe. Not Just Survival, But Fulfillment Pascale isn’t sugarcoating reality: sometimes, compromise means slower career progression. Sometimes, you truly do miss out. But, critically, solidarity, mutual support, the skill of adaptability and a willingness to see the adventure in the arrangement replaces doom with possibility. “Look at the positive things first,” Pascale urges. “Work as a winning team within your couple and your family…and get a good network of support.” This isn’t about pretending the split-location lifestyle is easy—or right for everyone. But for some the arrangement can flip the script: transforming anticipated loss into new connections, growth, and even fulfillment. Sometimes, having your heart (and, yes, your luggage) in two places really can work. Receive news regularly on new episodes of HTFA Podcast and on new events and resources. Subscribe to my newsletter. Your partner's job opportunity in another country seemed like an exciting idea, but lengthy work assignments mean you're holding down the family fort - alone. OR Your partner is working and living in another country, and you feel like you are shouldering all the home responsibilities alone. You may be wondering: How can we be a family when we're miles apart? Can I cope, alone, when troubles arise? I believe there are answers to the above questions, and the answers start with you. In this context, it's more important than ever to invest in yourself, to care for yourself, to set your own goals and to watch yourself grow. Equally important is to nurture your relationship with your partner and learn to parent together. Buy the book: Holding the Fort Abroad…

Holding the Fort Abroad

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#73 Expatriation, Repatriation and Commuting: Behind the Scenes of Expat Life – with Karlijn Jacobs 46:08

منذ 15 weeks46:08

46:08

Synopsis: Karlijn Jacobs supports organisations to enhance the success of international relocations through a family centered approach. She is the world's first ombudsperson for international children and families.Today we're going to be speaking about what she does at Expat Valley, and we're also going to hear a bit of her story of a time when her husband was away for work. Highlights from today’s episode: Moving to Shanghai with the whole family - navigating change and maintaining both careers. Taking the decision together. The importance of supporting families for a successful expatriation Karlijn’s and her husband’s experience of commuting. What led to the decision for Karlijn’s husband to commute to another country. ‘this was a good way to move forward…in the beginning, we thought we were getting the best of both worlds. My husband could progress his career and I would be home with the kids, close to our extended family and friends in the place that we wanted them to grow up. But, oh boy. 22:58 - 23:14 Underestimating repatriation Adapting to the new setup: leaving on Tuesdays and returning on Thursdays evenings The context matters as well: how many transitions are you going through at the same time: Birth, move, new job, repatriation? “ I think it was really only after a year or so that it was fully dawning on us that we signed up for something that was a lot more complicated than we anticipated.” (23:55) Open ended commuting assignments are harder “We realized that we signed up for something that we weren't going to make disappear. Like that was there, that was part of our normal routine. It wasn't a matter of investing time and energy and then you can finish that part 26:47 - 27:00 The difficulty of setting up a business at the same time (the first attempt at establishing a business with two children under 3, her husband commuting and Karlijn blaming herself and feeling she was failing as a parent) The shifting between being 3 to being 4 people at the week-ends “the family dynamics, that would just change twice a week. Like it would drive all four of us nuts…for me to make that shift every so many days, that was exhausting.” 33:07 - 33:32 Understanding that ‘split location’ comes with common challenges If you have people who can help ‘and they're only a phone call away, then pick up the phone, ask for help, protect your own sanity. Embrace that you don't have to do it all by yourself and take all the help you can get up there. 38:53 - 39:12 What stopped Karlijn from asking for help: used to being independent feeling she should be able to do it yourself not wanting to be a burden “if you really want to hold on to these beliefs, then don't sign up for it (commuting or split family assignment), because you can't do this all by yourself.” 38:01- 38:09 “I could have been so much more relaxed with myself as opposed to setting the bar really high, pretending that we were a normal family and then not, not succeeding because of all sorts of self imposed goals and objectives.” 40:15 - 40:30 Commuting with little children: transition times and colour coded calendars Ask Karlijn anything about Successful Family Relocation Experiences in a 15-min call: https://calendly.com/expatvalley/ask-me-anything email: karlijn@expatvalley.com web: www.expatvalley.com Receive news regularly on new episodes of HTFA Podcast and on new events and resources. Subscribe to my newsletter. Your partner's job opportunity in another country seemed like an exciting idea, but lengthy work assignments mean you're holding down the family fort - alone. OR Your partner is working and living in another country, and you feel like you are shouldering all the home responsibilities alone. You may be wondering: How can we be a family when we're miles apart? Can I cope, alone, when troubles arise? I believe there are answers to the above questions, and the answers start with you. In this context, it's more important than ever to invest in yourself, to care for yourself, to set your own goals and to watch yourself grow. Equally important is to nurture your relationship with your partner and learn to parent together. Buy the book: Holding the Fort Abroad…

Holding the Fort Abroad

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#72 Long-Distance Love: Handling Porn, Apps, and Real Talk – with Karina Lagarrigue 42:33

منذ 17 weeks42:33

42:33

Synopsis: This episode dives into the complexities of intimacy, fidelity, and connection for couples navigating life in different locations. In this candid conversation with Couples Therapist, High Sensitivity Specialist and Sex Therapist Karina Lagarrigue we bring to the forefront the tough and often unspoken realities faced by partners separated by distance. We unpack why issues like pornography and dating app use can arise. We discuss the loneliness and vulnerability that can lead couples to seek comfort online, and how seemingly simple actions can have deeper meanings and impacts on relationships. Host Rhoda Bangerter and Karina Lagarrigue don’t shy away from the difficult questions: Is fidelity truly possible when you’re physically apart for months at a time? How do you build trust and intimacy when life keeps pulling you in different directions? And, most importantly, how do you create a safe space to talk about your needs and desires—no matter where you are in the world? If you’ve ever struggled with maintaining closeness across the miles or wondered how to keep the connection alive, you’re not alone. This episode is full of empathy, practical advice, and encouragement for couples everywhere, and especially those living geographically separate across countries and continents. Tune in for an honest, nuanced look at modern intimacy and the power of communication, knowing yourself, creativity, and trust. Key takeaways for anyone navigating these waters—whether you’re an expat, frequent traveler, or simply in a long-distance relationship: 🔹 Understanding the "Why" Matters Before reacting to a partner’s use of technology—whether it’s pornography or dating apps—stop to ask why . Often, these behaviors stem from unmet needs, loneliness, or gaps in connection, not just disinterest or infidelity. 🔹 Communication & Boundaries Are Non-Negotiable Meaningful conversations about needs, fears, and boundaries can transform how couples experience distance and sexual intimacy. Don’t wait for a crisis to talk; proactively clarify what fidelity and trust look like in your unique context. 🔹 Intimacy Is Broader Than We Think Physical reconnection after time apart isn’t just about sex. Find creative, pressure-free ways to connect—emotionally, intellectually, and physically. Rebuilding intimacy requires patience, generosity, and sometimes professional support. Remember: we aren’t raised to have these conversations, so it’s normal to feel awkward or uncertain. But cultivating trust and self-awareness is possible - and worth it. If you want to hear more on this subject, listen to my conversation with Phillips Hwang in Episode #37 ‘Love Knows No Borders, Connection and Intimacy in Long Distance’ Are you a couple who moves? Join Wiebke and I in Autumn 2025 for a virtual summit designed to inspire, educate, and empower you as an expat couple . www.expatcouplessummit.com Receive news regularly on new episodes of HTFA Podcast and on new events and resources. Subscribe to my newsletter. Your partner's job opportunity in another country seemed like an exciting idea, but lengthy work assignments mean you're holding down the family fort - alone. OR Your partner is working and living in another country, and you feel like you are shouldering all the home responsibilities alone. You may be wondering: How can we be a family when we're miles apart? Can I cope, alone, when troubles arise? I believe there are answers to the above questions, and the answers start with you. In this context, it's more important than ever to invest in yourself, to care for yourself, to set your own goals and to watch yourself grow. Equally important is to nurture your relationship with your partner and learn to parent together. Buy the book: Holding the Fort Abroad…

Holding the Fort Abroad

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#71 Powerful Lessons from a Life of Constant Change – with Colleen Higgs 29:55

منذ 19 weeks29:55

29:55

Synopsis: Colleen Higgs shares her insights from many moves and times when her husband worked far from home. We discuss the hidden costs of change, the importance of recognising and naming transitions, and Coleen shares hard-won wisdom about making space for recuperation and letting go of impossible expectations. She offers practical strategies drawn from her upcoming book and her own journey - reminding us that it’s okay to prioritise, slow down, and ask, “What matters now?” If you are in the middle of a transition and feel you don’t have time to listen to more podcasts, this episode is worth the listen! It will help you give yourself grace, it is packed with insights that you need for your transition, you’ll recognise yourself in what we talk about as we meander through the huge impact of change and transition in our life. “Expecting to go through a big transition without stress is like going to the gym and expecting not to sweat. You have extra demand, but you need to recuperate more often.” Here are four standout takeaways for anyone tackling transitions—at home, at work, or across continents: Transitions Demand More Than You Think Transitions are supposed to be hard! Expecting zero stress is unrealistic; be ready for extra emotional, mental, and practical load when life shifts. Transitions Will Change Your Day to Day Life What will be more difficult? What will require more planning? How will my responsibility change? Intentional Recuperation Is Non-negotiable You can’t just power through. Colleen recommends building in time to truly recuperate (not just rest), intentionally choosing what to drop, and giving yourself permission to ease up during intense periods of change. Prioritize What Matters Now When routines and roles are in flux, ask yourself: what matters most in this moment? Don’t worry about ideal standards or “best practices” from another season or culture—focus on what your family, team, or self needs right now. For those in split locations, Colleen recounts a conversation she had with someone recently: ‘she and her husband did a split location situation for a period of a few years, and they were both very high functioning career people, so they just did it. In retrospect, she told me, by the time I knew it was too much for me, we were in it. We were committed. I felt like I couldn't tell him. It took us years to recover, to get on the same page as parents and as a family again. And just if I had any idea of what a big transition it would be, would have been for our family, I would have done things differently. I would have dropped some commitments, some committees, maybe stepped off the corporate ladder for a period. I would have made some intentional decisions, but I didn't realize how hard it would be until I was in the middle of it.’ It is also important to think about how that transition affects your life on a more daily level. Moves will be more obvious, but think how a split location will affect your day to day life: what is going to be more difficult, what it going to take more planning, etc. Colleen's Book Colleen’s book on transitions is nearly ready for beta readers! If you’d like to share your perspective or get a sneak peek, sign up for her newsletter or express your interest at: colleen@colleenhiggs.com Receive news regularly on new episodes of HTFA Podcast and on new events and resources. Subscribe to my newsletter. Buy the book - Holding the Fort Abroad. Your partner's job opportunity in another country seemed like an exciting idea, but lengthy work assignments mean you're holding down the family fort - alone. OR Your partner is working and living in another country, and you feel like you are shouldering all the home responsibilities alone. You may be wondering: How can we be a family when we're miles apart? Can I cope, alone, when troubles arise? I believe there are answers to the above questions, and the answers start with you. In this context, it's more important than ever to invest in yourself, to care for yourself, to set your own goals and to watch yourself grow. Equally important is to nurture your relationship with your partner and learn to parent together.…

Holding the Fort Abroad

1
#70 The Spaces In Between: Family Life in Constant Transition 23:00

منذ 21 weeks23:00

23:00

Synopsis: "It seems to me that globally mobile people and people who live these geographical separations, we tend to have these ongoing non stop transitions and not only one at a time, we tend to have multiple transitions going on at the same time." Whether it’s a big move, a new role, the bittersweet send-off when a loved one leaves, or adjustments that come with globally mobile living, transitions are everywhere. Using William Bridges’ renowned model, this episode explores the three phases of transition-endings, the neutral zone, and new beginnings - and discusses how these play out in our lives as expatriates or families separated by work commitments. I also reflect on my own ongoing transitions, share insights from expert guests from previous episodes, and talk about crucial skills that can make every transition just a little bit easier. What transitions are you in at the moment? Biggest takeaways from ‘Transitions’ from William Bridges Ongoing transitions and multiple transitions at a time including strategies to navigate them How transitions show up in Frequent Work Travel and longer geographical separations Resources mentioned in this episode : Transitions; Making Sense of Life’s Changes by William Bridges Holding the Fort Abroad Episode #17 with Arlette Chatlain (Family rituals during split-location) Episode #28 with Kirsten Pontius (Maintaining your minimum amid chaos) Episode #23 with Kate Gondouin (Coping with frequent transitions in corporate and personal life) Action Steps: Make a list of all the transitions you’re in (or have recently experienced) - even the small ones! Identify your “minimum” self-care routine to preserve your wellbeing during busy times. Collaborate with your partner/family to create your own set of reconnecting questions and rituals. Wherever you are in the world, know that you’re not alone.…

Holding the Fort Abroad

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#69 Takeaways from 3 years of conversations on living geographically apart – with Rhoda Bangerter 53:12

منذ 23 weeks53:12

53:12

Synopsis: In this anniversary episode, we celebrate the third anniversary of the Holding the Fort Abroad podcast! With 66+ episodes, the podcast carves a unique space in the global podcast landscape. The podcast explores the realities and nuances of split location family life and life when one of you is a frequent business traveller. The podcast episodes include deeply personal stories, honest conversations, and connect with experts to bring you real talk and impactful narratives. My mission is to provide not just insight, but also practical strategies and emotional support for families who live apart, ensuring that they never feel alone in their journey. Today, Wiebke Anton turns the tables on me to interview me diving into my experiences, insights, and the cherished moments that have defined this incredible journey. Join us as we reflect on the past, celebrate the present, and look forward to where Holding the Fort Abroad is headed next with plenty of useful strategies included! Keep your ear out too for surprise appearances from Amel Derragui, Olivier (Rhoda's husband!) and Navine Eldesouki. PART 1: Looking back at Rhoda’s journey as a podcaster Three years in — how has hosting this podcast influenced you personally and professionally? If you could go back to the first episode and give yourself one piece of advice, what would it be? What was the most unexpected or surprising insight you gained from a guest? PART 2: Memorable Moments and big lessons (lessons still applicable to new listeners) Out of all the episodes, is there one conversation that deeply moved you or shifted your perspective on split-location families? Was there a story that stuck with you—something that made you pause and rethink how families navigate distance? Looking back at all the conversations you’ve had, what are some of the biggest misconceptions people have about making long-distance/split-location family life work? Have you seen a gap between the way people imagine it versus the reality? What is a recurring topic or concept in your podcast conversations that many seem to overlook? You’ve spoken to so many couples and families who make it work in different ways—what do they have in common? Are there specific habits, mindsets, or approaches that seem to set the most "successful" ones apart? And, can you please explain, how families should define "successful" in this context? And on the flip side, what are the early warning signs that a setup might not be sustainable? PART 3: Connecting to Rhoda’s upcoming journey You’ve spent years speaking to families navigating split-location life - and now you’re about to embark on it again yourself. Has anything you've learned from the podcast changed the way you're approaching this transition? Is there an episode or a piece of advice from a guest that you’re personally holding onto as you prepare for this next chapter? PART 4: Impact and Outlook Has a listener ever reached out with a story about how your podcast impacted them? If you had to distill three years of conversations into one key message for international couples (who live it or consider living it), what would it be? What’s next for the podcast? Any exciting plans or dreams for the future? If you could interview anyone on this topic and invite to your podcast-past or present, dead or alive, who would it be and why? CLOSING: What’s one question you still don’t have an answer to but would love to explore in the coming years? About Wiebke: Wiebke Anton is a relationship Coach for Expat Couples and the co-Founder of the Expat Couples Summit. She supports expats, intercultural couples and singles in Rwanda and Beyond. Curious about the state of your relationship? Get instant feedback with Wiebke’s Couples Health Check-up Questionnaire ! Takes just minutes to find out where you stand and what can make it better… Help4Love Relationship Coaching Are you a couple who moves? Join Wiebke and I in 2025 for an immersive virtual summit experience designed to inspire, educate, and empower you as an expat couple . www.expatcouplessummit.com…

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#68 Anchor Yourself in Fitness: How to embrace Daily Exercise – with Mylene Jalladeau 37:44

منذ 25 weeks37:44

37:44

Synopsis: Mylene Jalladeau specializes in fitness for busy people. Join us as Mylene shares her holistic approach to fitness, emphasizing the importance of integrating physical activity into daily life as seamlessly as eating and drinking. Mylene candidly discusses her personal journey from exercising for aesthetics to finding a balanced, health-oriented approach. Together, Rhoda and Mylene explore how fitness can serve as an anchor in the demanding lifestyles of expatriates and those living with work travel, fostering both mental and physical well-being. Tune in to discover effective strategies and insights on commencing and maintaining a fitness journey, tailored to support the unique challenges faced by those frequently on the move. Key Takeaways from Our Discussion: Holistic Approach to Fitness: Mylene believes that exercise should be integrated into our lifestyles as naturally as brushing our teeth. It’s not just about aesthetics but creating a balance that supports mental, physical, and emotional well-being. Starting Point: Everyone has a unique starting point. Mylene stresses the importance of beginning your fitness journey with the body and capabilities you have now and gradually improving from there. Consistent Effort: Mylene highlights that consistency outweighs perfection. Even short, regular sessions can lead to significant improvements over time. She encourages beginning with just 20 minutes if that's what you can manage. Balancing Life and Fitness: For busy parents and individuals frequently traveling for work, fitness should be adaptable. Mylene provides insights on how to make it a natural part of your life without overwhelming your schedule. Mindset Transformation: Beyond physical workouts, changing your mindset and finding your personal 'why' is crucial for long-term health and motivation. Contact Mylene: Mylene coaches online and in person in Bishkek. To discuss the best plan for you find her on: Instagram Linkedin where she also writes about the interaction of fitness and work.…

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#67 How to improve communication for families living apart – with Kathleen Smith 57:33

منذ 27 weeks57:33

57:33

Synopsis In this episode, we explore how the C-Me Color profile can enhance communication and understanding for those living apart or frequently traveling.We have the pleasure of hearing from Kathleen Smith, the membership director of Families in Global Transitions and the founder of Global Grandmas. Kathleen brings a wealth of experience in assisting families in navigating international relocations and maintaining their core values across borders. Kathleen shares her fascinating journey, insights into building supportive family dynamics, and how anyone can find or become a "global grandma." Whether you're a family adjusting to a new country or an individual managing work-life balance from afar, this episode is packed with practical advice and heartwarming stories. Families in Global Transition (FIGT): FIGT is a community that supports families globally through transitions. It began as a "kitchen table" gathering where real conversations happen. The organization emphasizes service and mutual support. C-Me Color Profile: A tool that can be used to enhance communication among family members who live apart due to frequent travel or international assignments. The profile focuses on working preferences rather than personality types, highlighting four colors: Blue: Detail-oriented, structured, enjoys problem-solving. Green: Caring and concerned for others, often indecisive as they seek group harmony. Red: Bold, confident, sets goals, and leads decisively. Yellow: Talkative, optimistic, enjoys spontaneity. Importance of Colors in Family Communication: Understanding these color preferences can aid families in bettering their communication and complement each other’s styles, especially during transitions or separations due to travel. The personal development tips for each color were provided, aiming for better family dynamics. Global Grandmas Initiative Kathleen introduces the concept of Global Grandmas, also encouraging older individuals to become supportive figures in the community even if not biologically related. The initiative fosters intergenerational bonds, asking and offering support Find out more about the history of C-me. It is not meant to put anyone in a box! The benefits of using colours: colours blend more, they feel less judgemental, how we express them is unique and they are memorable. C-me colour profiling: Understanding your strengths: Organisational Development : Schools and services : University of Sussex Join us at Families in Global Transition Global Grandmas – Gathering Together, Flourishing Forward…

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#66 How to prepare for geographical separation: Tips for families with one parent about to live abroad – with Rhoda Bangerter 11:37

منذ 29 weeks11:37

11:37

Synopsis: Living geographically apart can be a challenge, but with the right preparation and support, it can also be an opportunity for growth. I'm Rhoda Bangerter, host of Holding the Fort Abroad. In this episode, I share three essential ways to prepare for this unique lifestyle once the decision has been taken. This episode follows episode 42 about deciding whether to take on an assignment which would mean geographical separation. Tune in to learn more! You might want a pen and paper to jot down the questions to ask yourselves. Three Essential Ways to Prepare: 1. Observe and Adjust : Write down and observe what each partner contributes to the household before the move. This will help in delegating tasks and understanding what needs adjusting when one partner is away. Also include where and how each partner receives emotional support and whether adjustments will need to be made. 2. Communication is Key : Establish a communication plan to keep your relationship strong and avoid misunderstandings. But hold on to it lightly as things can change once the assignment is under way and also as it evolves as time goes on. 3. Involve the Kids : Keep kids engaged in the transition by having family meetings. This ensures they feel heard and can express their thoughts about the changes. Identify each family member's love language to maintain strong emotional connections despite the distance. 4. One step at a time Don’t try planning for the whole assignment, take it one section at a time (i.e. one departure and one return at a time) Preparing for this new phase thoughtfully can make the journey smoother for everyone involved. For more insights and tips, listen to our full episode!…

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#65 How to create psychological safety – with Elizabeth Vahey Smith 38:13

منذ 31 weeks38:13

38:13

Synopsis: Elizabeth Vahey Smith is back to talk about trauma informed leadership. Find out practical tips for parents on how to engage with their children when witnessing heightened emotional responses, ensuring the child feels heard and understood. We give examples about how that could happen when a parent is away for work. Elizabeth gives insights from her new book on establishing psychological safety in the workplace, recognizing elevated responses, and fostering a culture of trust and resilience. You can also listen to her previous episode on HTFA podcast #49 where she gives strategies on how to process our emotions. What you Will Learn: 1. Parenting isn't just about raising kids -It's about leading them. Elizabeth Vahey Smith, COO of TCK Training, sheds light on how trauma-informed leadership principles can transform our approach to parenting. 2. Elizabeth shares a pivotal moment when she realized that leadership, both at work and home, was being handled poorly. Her experience of being triggered by leadership at work made her rethink how she was parenting her children. 3. The key insight? Leadership behaviors-like not listening or giving few choices-can erode psychological safety, whether you're at the office or at home with your kids. Parents often exert authority over children without realizing the impact. 4. Trauma isn't always about big events. Even small incidents can leave lasting emotional consequences. For kids, it might be something as subtle as a parent missing a significant event due to work travel. 5. Want to be more trauma-informed? Start by asking questions and getting curious about your child's resistance. Understand what's blocking them rather than just exerting authority. 6. In the workplace, similar principles apply. Leaders should aim for psychological safety, ensuring that team members feel heard and valued, which boosts engagement and productivity. 7. Elizabeth's upcoming book: "Trauma Informed Leadership," offers a comprehensive guide on navigating trauma in various settings—from parenting to corporate management. 8. Let's redefine leadership: It's about mobilizing people with an awareness of their past experiences and fostering environments that promote healing and resilience. 9. Let's build cultures of trust and safety , where everyone feels heard, whether at home or in the office, . Empowering families and teams to thrive begins with understanding and compassion. 10. It's time to bring trauma-informed principles to the forefront. Dive deeper into Elizabeth Vahey Smith's work and redefine the way you lead at home and beyond. Read more: Trauma Informed Leadership by Elizabeth Vahey Smith About Elizabeth Contact Elizabeth…

Holding the Fort Abroad

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#64 How to improve Sleep Health For The Traveller And The Stressed – with Funke Afolabi-Brown 39:55

منذ 33 weeks39:55

39:55

Synopsis: Dr. Funke Afolabi-Brown is a distinguished medical doctor specialised in sleep medicine. We discuss the crucial impact of sleep on well-being and productivity, particularly for those leading high-intensity lifestyles and constant travel. In This Episode: Importance of Sleep and Its Consequences Negative Effects of Poor Sleep Cognitive impacts: focus, memory issues, increased risk of Alzheimer’s Physical health impacts: blood pressure, heart issues, immune system functionality, metabolism, diabetes, obesity Mental health impacts: burnout, anxiety, depression, suicidality Sleep and High-Intensity Lifestyle Jet Lag Difference between temporary jet lag and jet lag sleep disorder Strategies for pre-travel, during travel, and post-arrival adjustments Impact of frequent travel on circadian rhythm and strategies for mitigation Organizational Support for Employees Educating Organizations Impact of lack of sleep on health and productivity Strategies for organizational support: recovery time, comfortable sleeping arrangements, etc. Importance of promoting sleep wellness for better organizational outcomes Managing Stress and Sleep Techniques for Reducing Stress and Improving Sleep Importance of a bedtime routine Strategies: journaling, breathing exercises, progressive muscle relaxation, cognitive shuffle Importance of intention and finding personalized methods Sleep for Parents, Especially Moms Balancing Personal Time and Sleep Time audit to find opportunities for self-care Investing in personal time for restorative sleep and well-being Napping During the Day Guidelines for Naps Short naps (20-30 minutes) recommended Best time earlier in the day Avoiding naps when suffering from insomnia Identifying Sleep Disorders Signs of Sleep Disorders Difficulty in falling or staying asleep, frequent awakenings, fatigue Symptoms specific to sleep apnea: snoring, restless sleep, mouth breathing Consulting a specialist when necessary Sleep Trackers Using Sleep Trackers Benefits for monitoring trends Caution against obsession over data Importance of balancing technology use with listening to one’s body Dr. Funke Afolabi Brown’s Book "Beyond Tired" Overview of the book’s focus on children’s sleep Topics covered: behavioral sleep issues, sleep disorders, sleep in children with complex living arrangements, sleep for busy moms Availability on Amazon Faith-Based Devotional Seven-Day Devotional Focus on sacred rest: mentally, physically, and emotionally Available for download on Dr. Brown’s website Conclusion Encouragement to Listeners Importance of prioritizing sleep quality Seeking help when necessary Rhoda and Funke express mutual appreciation.…

Holding the Fort Abroad

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#63 How to respond when criticised for choosing split locations – with Rhoda Bangerter 21:17

منذ 35 weeks21:17

21:17

Synopsis: Welcome to Holding the Fort Abroad, the podcast about frequent business travel and working away from home. My name is Rhoda Bangerter and I help parents manage the stress and disconnect from living this life so that they can enjoy the growth and intention this lifestyle can bring. What you will learn: 1. What members of our family have said 2. Listen to those who know you and have followed your choice process 3. Split locations is an unusual way of life, but you are not the only ones doing it. Relevant episodes: #09 Shellee Burroughs #17 Arlette Chatlein #15 Becky Grappo #19 Colleen Higgs #20 Carole Hallett Mobbs #52 Florence Reisch #39 Michael Sullivan #60 Navine Eldesouki 4. Split locations can be devastating and break the family Warnings re children: #06 Sharoya Ham Parenting Together Long Distance #46 Irene You Have to Behave When I Am Away - became a ‘good girl’ #51 Katia Vlachos The Impact of Parental Absence on Childhood #29 Dr Laura Anderson How to be a Family on Split Locations Warnings re couples: #05 Vivian Chiona Facing the Challenges of Expat Life Together #24 Jenny Linton Myths that threaten long distance marriages #37 Phillips Hwang, Love Knows No Borders,Connection and Intimacy in Long Distance Relationships 5. How to create a family narrative #58 Lidia Lae…

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#62 How to be a strong family when miles apart – with Rhoda Bangerter 13:21

منذ 37 weeks13:21

13:21

Synopsis: How do families stay together when work takes them away from each other? Wellbeing, Partnership, Parenting Together, Smooth Transitions and Emergency Preparedness: strengthen these five pillars. After I describe the pillars, I go through how you can use this framework if you are the one travelling, you are the one with the children, you are deciding whether to take a posting that would mean time apart, you are preparing to live geographically apart. What you will learn: Pillar 1 Personal Wellbeing and Development Pillar 2 Partnership as a Long-Distance Relationship Pillar 3 Parenting Together Pillar 4 Smooth Transitions Pillar 5 Emergencies and Dangerous Locations After I describe the pillars, I go through how you can use this framework if you are the one travelling if you are the one with the children if you are deciding whether to take a posting that would mean time apart if you are preparing to live geographically apart Sign up for the Resource Center Find out more about my story As 2024 comes to a close, I thank all my guests for sharing their stories and insights and I thank all my listeners. I have enjoyed hearing your feedback on how you have been encouraged. Enjoyed This Episode? Please Leave A Review, Like and Share This will help more people find the podcast and get encouragement for this very specific lifestyle!…

Holding the Fort Abroad

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#61 Super Commuter Couples and what keeps them together – with Megan Bearce 46:22

منذ 39 weeks46:22

46:22

Synopsis: Megan Bearce is a therapist, a speaker and the author of the book ‘Super Commuter Couples, the subtitle sums it up ‘staying together when a job keeps you apart’. Something that she and her husband have personally experienced. The book is also full of stories of others who live it. In this episode, Megan and I talk about building resilience when we live this kind of lifestyle, silver linings and also her work with organisations and why organisations need to support their staff who are away from home a lot for work. You Will Learn: Megan's experience and why she wrote the book. Why she thinks living geographically separate is not talked about much. Plus, changes since the book was published. Best ways of creating resilience. Silver linings Megan’s work with organisations and why organisations need to support this Megan's Links: Website Book Apple Books and Amazon Public Speaking: Megan’s Keynote speaker - demo video Relationships and Counselling - Megan’s interview by Matt Holman Become a patient: Megan takes patients for therapy in Minnesota, USA. Megan accepts coaching clients, specifically if you are thinking about one of you super commuting for work.…

Holding the Fort Abroad

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#60 Coffee with an expat on split location – with Navine Eldesouki 43:21

منذ 41 weeks43:21

43:21

Synopsis: Navine Eldesouki shares with us what it is like living in split locations. She is the founder of Coffee with an expat, a community of women who lift each other up! At age 20, she left her home country of Australia and has lived in 8 countries, currently living in Dubai. Since 2020, her husband works and lives in another country. What you will learn: 9 lessons from the podcast episode with concise titles and brief descriptions: 1. Flexibility in Expectations Be adaptable, as life changes often affect plans, particularly in expatriate families dealing with distance and logistics. 2. Importance of Self-care Pursue hobbies and interests independently to maintain personal happiness and avoid relying solely on your partner for fulfillment. 3. Emergency Preparedness Have a detailed plan for emergencies, including contact information and important documents, to handle unexpected situations smoothly. 4. Maintaining Regular Communication Use scheduled Zoom calls to connect beyond logistics, maintaining a vibrant relationship through humor and personal interaction. 5. Parental Responsibility Balance Recognize the extensive responsibility of solo parenting while ensuring the traveling partner stays engaged and supportive. 6. Transitioning Family Dynamics Manage the complexities of reintegrating a traveling partner into household routines, especially during short visits. 7. Building Local Support Networks Forge connections with neighbors and local peers for emergency support and daily assistance in the absence of a partner. 8. Children's Emotional Well-being Address separation anxiety and maintain open communication to support children emotionally during parental absences. 9. Encouraging Direct Communication Foster direct relationships between children and the absent parent, promoting strong family bonds. Resources Mentioned in the Show: Navine Eldesouki: LinkedIn Instagram Diary of an Expat: Unfiltered | Newsletter Coffee With An Expat: Website Membership Instagram…

Holding the Fort Abroad

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#59 Prioritising Family: A Story of High Performance and Presence – with Christian Ray Flores 44:24

منذ 43 weeks44:24

44:24

Synopsis: Is a high performance life compatible with family life? Christian Ray Flores went from being a child refugee, a famous popstar, to the founder of Exponential Life, high performance coaching for purpose driven professionals with a lot of philanthropy, teaching, and speaking as well. In this episode, we speak about high performance, work demands, what it means for the family, and the changes he has made in his life. Key Takeaways: After hearing about Christian’s fascinating experience growing up across continents and his life as a famous popstar, we dive into why he changed direction and how he adjusted his travel time to prioritise his family life, although it cost him financially. 1. Navigating Work Travel and Family Life: Being able to balance frequent business travel with maintaining strong familial relationships is critical. Christian's experiences underscore the importance of setting boundaries and prioritizing family despite professional demands. 2. Travel's Impact on Personal Relationships: Frequent work travel can significantly strain personal relationships, making it difficult to sustain connections. Both Christian and Rhoda emphasized the necessity of conscious efforts and lifestyle adjustments to mitigate these impacts. 3. Implementing Travel Moratoriums: Christian shared his personal decision to implement a six-month moratorium on travel to re-focus on his family life. This pause allowed him to reset and reestablish a stable family environment. 4. Frequency Management for Sustainable Balance: Post-moratorium, Christian decided to reduce his travel frequency to once every one or two months, finding this more manageable and less disruptive to his family life. 5. Innovative Lifestyle Choices: To balance career demands with family presence, Christian suggested alternative lifestyles such as traveling with family and homeschooling children, emphasizing the importance of full immersion and presence with family during critical upbringing years. 6. Role of Personal Relationships in High Performance: The episode highlighted that sustainable high performance is closely tied to support from personal relationships, including family. Frequent travelers must ensure that their work does not overshadow the need to maintain these essential bonds. 7. Cumulative Time with Children: Christian opened up about the limited cumulative time one gets with their children after they leave home, stressing the importance of making the most of these early, critical years by being present and involved. 8. Metacognition and Self-Awareness During Travel: For frequent travelers, having strong metacognitive skills helps in making conscious, deliberate decisions about how to balance work and personal life, avoiding the pitfalls of being constantly on the move without reflection. 9. Communication and Boundary Setting: Effective communication and clear boundary setting are central to successfully managing the pressure of frequent travel on family life. This includes expressing needs directly and managing expectations both at home and on the road. 10. Encouragement for Personal Growth: The podcast encourages personal growth for both those who travel frequently and their partners, advocating for a dynamic where both parties pursue self-improvement and clear communication to maintain a healthy balance. These insights provide valuable perspectives for frequent travelers on how to navigate the intersection of work demands and personal relationships, advocating for strategies that prioritize family without sacrificing professional aspirations. Guest Links: Christian Ray Flores https://www.xponential.life/ https://www.instagram.com/christianrayflores/ https://www.christianrayflores.com/…

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#58 How to create your family story – with Lidia Lae 39:31

منذ 45 weeks39:31

39:31

Synopsis: Create a strong family narrative that embraces diverse cultures and values to bridge any disconnect. In this episode, my guest Dr Lidia Lae explains how to develop a unique family culture that blends elements from different backgrounds, recognizing the best of both worlds. Lidia is a seasoned psychologist specialising in self-narratives. She shares her extensive research on how these stories shape our identities and influence our emotional well-being. She also provides practical tips and personal anecdotes on maintaining family unity, even when a parent is frequently away, using tools like family journal apps and focusing on gratitude. This episode reveals the power of self-narratives in reinforcing family bonds, fostering emotional closeness, and setting and achieving individual and family goals. You will learn: Developing a Family Culture Learn how to merge elements from different cultures into a cohesive family narrative that celebrates the best of both worlds. Harnessing Self Narratives Discover the impact of self-narratives in reinforcing family bonds and maintaining emotional closeness, even when a parent is away. Technology and Communication Find out how tools like family journal apps can aid in communication, fostering gratitude and making the absence of a parent less daunting for children. Personal Stories Lidia shares her experience preparing her eight-month-old daughter for her absence, demonstrating the power of positive narratives and communication with children. Emotional Support and Goal Setting Understand the importance of providing emotional support by framing absences as part of a bigger family story. We also discuss setting individual and family goals to build a strong family identity, offering a positive role model for children. Cultural Comparisons Lidia presents her research comparing self-narratives of European Australians and Singaporean Chinese, shedding light on how cultural differences influence family dynamics and identity. About Lidia: Dr Lidia Lae is an East-Timorese Chinese Australian writer, psychologist, and speaker. With a PhD in social psychology, Lidia explores themes of culture, memory, meaning, purpose, self, and identity, unravelling the intricacies of the human condition with deep curiosity and empathy. Through her writing—including upcoming books and regular blog posts at www.lidialae.com —she aims to inspire, educate, and empower by making complex topics engaging and relatable. As the director of To Learn Consulting, Lidia offers psychological and consulting services, guiding individuals and organizations to embrace their unique stories for personal and collective growth. Beyond her professional endeavours, Lidia balances her roles as a therapist, mother, and world traveller, bringing a rich, multicultural perspective to her work. Find out more about self-narratives and how to harness them for your family’s narrative…

Holding the Fort Abroad

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#57 How Companies Can Support Unaccompanied Staff – with Kathy Borys Siddiqui 36:47

منذ 47 weeks36:47

36:47

Synopsis: Today my guest is Kathy Borys Siddiqui, she is the founder of Active Action and she works with organisations, helping them support their staff, specifically with intercultural training and family support. She was a panelist speaker at the HR event held in March on how organisations can better support their staff on split family assignments and today we are going to be continuing our conversation. If you are listening and you are the spouse of a staff or a staff member yourself, this conversation may correspond to some of the concerns you have about the support that you receive from your organisation and we would love to hear from you if any of what we are saying is resonating with you. If you are in a role supporting staff, I hope this conversation gives you ideas on how and why you need to increase your staff support . What you will learn: The importance for organisations to undertand that staff are relocating for the job and therefore that they, the organisatioins have a responsibility towards the whole family unit, whether families are accompanying or staying in their home countries. In doing so, they will retain their staff longer. What do some organisations do? What kind of data should organisations track? Why? What can employees do to advocate for themselves?…

Holding the Fort Abroad

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#56 Embracing Adventure: Raising a Family with a Travelling Partner – with Jenny Butter 25:59

منذ 49 weeks25:59

25:59

Synopsis: Listen to Jenny Butter’s story and learn how she and her husband navigate family life and his frequent work travel. She begins her married life leaving her job and accompanying her husband to Sri Lanka right after the Tsunami hits in 2004. He travels around the country and the region but she is surrounded by other spouses in the same situation. A little while later, they move to New York and have two children born a few months apart. Although culturally New York is closer to her home culture, and Jenny is a go-getter, her husband is still travelling and she feels lonely. Jenny reflects on how she was raised with a father who travelled and that it felt normal to be living a similar family set-up. Jenny's Words of Wisdom: Different marriages normals “I can remember one of my friends once saying to me, “does Jan actually exist? Because we've never met him.” I would go and see my friend when Jan was traveling, because when he was home, we could have that couple time. She was in a marriage where they were always together. They did everything together. They visited people together. I'd never really perceived her norm. She hadn't perceived my norm. And both can be normal, depending on your relationship, you know, I didn't see mine as abnormal. It's just the way it was, because that was a model of my parents." You can be both strong and lonely sometimes " I'm a doer, I'm capable, I just get on with it. But there was one instance where I remember just, like, crying in relief because he told me he wasn't going to Japan because I'd sort of, like, held it together for three weeks when he'd been somewhere else, and it was for a couple of days, then go off somewhere, I was like, oh, thank you. You're not going. I hadn't realized just how hard I was finding it up until that point when the relief just went through me. The fact, actually he wasn't going away again, that he would be home for a couple of weeks." Reentering workforce When I was in radio, it was all social action broadcasting. So it helped people move forward, change their lives in whatever way that would be, getting them out of domestic violence or laying a new skill or raising money. So then I retrained to be a coach, but it worked out really well because I could do it from home. When my children in school and they were young, so they'd be in bed for seven, I could do it in the evenings when people had come home from work, So that's how it started. And then I could do face to face when my husband was home. Otherwise it would be online. So I've been doing twelve years now. And so that's why I had the career change, because I had to do something that's flexible to be the full time carer. Her husband’s involvement now their children are older So he's very good at texting them or sending them messages and things that they might be interested in. So my daughter's a foodie, so wherever he goes, you know, he'll send her photos of the food he's eaten and, you know, what there is in the local supermarkets and that type of thing. And, you know, my son, he loves, you know, I don't know, words and culture and history, so he might send him, you know, something historical so he, he really thinks about what they're, what they're interested in and, you know, try and send them relevant information. On choosing split locations or an expatriation What would the split family location look like (...)? Because I think sometimes it's okay in some seasons and sometimes it's not okay in other seasons. You have to really look at where you are now and think, would this work for us as a family, for our marriage, and as you get older for aging parents, would it work for us in this season of our life? And then going in with the facts and actively choosing it and then knowing what you've chosen and reinforcing those choices. Her message to new parents You having an adventure so it can be fun and exciting and making sure you've got things to look forward to, but also being aware that the toll it might take on your emotional mental health and making sure that you have support systems in place for that, either in country or externally. You know, Zoom counseling, Zoom coaching, support network, because it can be hard, it can be lonely, it can be isolating. No blame "I think it's important to keep an open line of communication, to not blame, but to be honest about how you're feeling and talk about it with your spouse and with your partner, with other people. And I think that's why you have to go into any decision with the facts. If at all possible, it's a joint decision. I know some people don't have that because they're sent with work or they need to go because it's the only job that they could get. But within that, if, as much as possible, if it is a joint decision, because there can sometimes be blame involved and anger which doesn't help people settle or be happy. And so I think it's being responsible for yourself and your own emotions and putting in your own support network and structure and knowing that's important because you are a carer for the small children, but then you are also still a wife and a spouse, and that relationship needs nurturing, too." When he returns from his trips There's certainly no welcome home parties or celebrations because it is just part of our marriage, our life. Her concluding remarks The world is a fun place. It offers so much adventure. When it's hard, it's hard. But when it's wonderful, it's wonderful. Even in the hard times, try and look for the fun, excitement or beauty in your new location because it can just make it a bit easier on those hard days. Contact Jenny Jenny Butter Accredited Master Coach Web: Epiphany Career & Life Coaching Book: Book a coaching session LinkedIn…

Holding the Fort Abroad

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#55 Sharing my father with the world – with Michael Pollock 40:01

منذ 51 weeks40:01

40:01

Synopsis: Growing up as the child of a minister and a father who was also actively involved in cross-cultural work, had a profound impact on Michael. His father's frequent travels for youth ministry, pastoral duties, and later, more global roles in raising awareness about Third Culture Kids, created a complex dynamic in their family life. While there was a sense of pride and recognition in the meaningful work his father did, it also brought challenges. Michael reflects on the mixed emotions of having to "share" his father with others, often feeling that it wasn't a choice but a necessity. This experience shaped Michael's perspective, giving him an appreciation for the importance of his father's work while also highlighting the personal cost of his absence during key moments of his upbringing. This insightful podcast highlights the complexities of mobile family dynamics and the importance of attachment theory in understanding the experiences of TCKs. Key takeaways: The child has a limited say in how often the parent travels The memories that stand out are times spent together Travel is a whole family project and is supported by the whole family The importance of knowing about attachment The importance of knowing what creates healthy strong attachments when there are separations The importance of community around global families. “The anchor relationships are the ones that over time, they're not going to change. They're people who love you, love your family, and nothing's going to change that.” Acronyms used in this episode HSP Highly Sensitive Person PK Pastor’s kids MK Missionary Kids Book mentioned in the episode: ‘I have to be perfect and other holy heresies’ Contact Michael: LinkedIn Website Receive news regularly on new episodes of HTFA Podcast and on new events and resources. Subscribe to my newsletter…

Holding the Fort Abroad

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#54 How to be a father and frequent business traveller – with Rhoda Bangerter 23:15

منذ 1 year23:15

23:15

Synopsis: The ICAN Model helps you stay in touch with what is going on with your family’s life. If you are a father who travels, you may find it tricky to be emotionally present when you are away from home for work. The risk is that you feel like a stranger when you come home, especially if you’ve been away a long time, or that you stop being involved in raising your children. The ICAN model gives you a framework to stay connected. Your partner at home can use this framework to support your involvement as well. You will learn: The risks involved if you are not involved in family life The ICAN Model: Involvement and Intention Consistency Awareness Nurture Using the ICAN Model in the three levels of parenting: the big picture vision, the implementation, and finally the responsive moments of parenting Resources mentioned in the episode: The ICAN Model was created by Dr Ken Canfield Staying connected - with Kerry Byrne, episode 7 How to engage your child on the phone (download) The five love languages Long distance bracelets The Toolbox for Multilingual Families , by Ute Limacher-Riebold Record stories with Audacity Record and then save as an mp3 file you can send to your children https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bBzk0MtuB5E…

Holding the Fort Abroad

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#53 Whose career? Yours, mine or ours? – with Yvonne Quahe 38:55

منذ 1 year38:55

38:55

Synopsis: In dual career relationships, couples must navigate the challenges of balancing career and family responsibilities. Rhoda and Yvonne discuss the impact of frequent business travel on the stay-at-home partner and navigating the complexities and challenges of spending prolonged periods of time apart. The podcasts shines a light on the need for clear boundaries and constructive dialogue to make informed decisions because split location living does impact both careers and relationships. Key Takeaways: Have the conversations Embrace the unknown Be mindful of the impact on the stay-at-home partner Intentionality and re negotiation are important to staying on track so both partners are happy Contact Yvonne: Website What’s worked for you? Let me know on IG @amulticultural life…

Holding the Fort Abroad

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S’épanouir en expatriation: Un épisode en Français avec Florence Reisch 54:31

منذ 1 year54:31

54:31

Synopsis: There are usually no episodes in August but this month I have a bonus episode in French for you. Florence Reisch has been an expat for many years, she is specialised as an expat coach and she has written ‘Expat Wife, Happy Life’ which is available in 6 languages. To celebrate her book being published in French, we share our conversation about expatriation, resources in French and the power of connection between women. Bienvenue dans cet épisode extraordinaire et en français pour la première fois de mon podcast Holding the Fort Abroad qui en français je pense se traduit tenir la barre. Je sais pas si ça le même effet mais voilà, mon invité aujourd'hui est Florence Reisch, elle est coach, elle est auteure, elle est expat depuis de nombreuses années. Et on voulait un petit peu discuter à l 'occasion de la sortie de son livre en français, un petit peu célébrer ça et puis discuter des ressources qui existent en français, de l 'expatriation en générale, du message de son livre qui n 'est pas un message, on vous en dira plus et puis un petit peu de la de la connection entre femmes. In this episode: Les resources qui existent en français S’epanouir en expatriation Pourquoi Florence a écrit en plusieurs langues Reactions reçues depuis la sortie du livre Le livre n’est pas un message mais l'expression d'une attitude Le pouvoir de connection entre femmes. Contact Florence Reisch https://www.coachingwiththeflo.com/…

Holding the Fort Abroad

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#51 The Impact of Parental Absence on Childhood – with Katia Vlachos 33:56

منذ 1 year33:56

33:56

Synopsis: Katia Vlachos’ father was away during her childhood. During this episode, she graciously shares her story of realising later on in life the impact her father’s absence had on her. Katia has lived internationally for many years. She's the author of the book A Great Move and a soon-to-be-released memoir. She coaches people going through major life transitions and reinventions. Join us in this intimate conversation about family, love and hope. Resources Mentioned in the Show: The core emotional needs are grouped across 5 areas: A secure attachment to others Freedom to express valid needs and feelings Autonomy, competence and a sense of identity Spontaneity and play Realistic limits and self-control" You can find out more about the core emotional needs here: http://schematherapycollective.com/schema-therapy/what-are-your-core-emotional-needs/ Contact Katia: Website LinkedIn Instagram Facebook…

Holding the Fort Abroad

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#50 – Solo Parenting Survival Guide for Summer: Keeping It Stress-Free and Fun 10:14

منذ 1 year10:14

10:14

Synopsis: In this short episode of Holding the Fort Abroad, I give you four tips for your consideration if you are solo parenting during the holidays and your partner is working. Key Takeaways: Make it work for you Create memories Include the other parent Don’t pack in too many activities and visits What do you do to make it enjoyable and restful? Let me know on IG @amulticulturallife Enjoyed This Episode? Please Leave A Review Please leave a review or a comment. This will help more people find the podcast and get encouragement for this very specific lifestyle!…

Holding the Fort Abroad

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#49 Know what to do with your emotions – with Elizabeth Vahey Smith 36:59

منذ 1 year36:59

36:59

Synopsis: You feel anger, fear, sadness, resentment, disappointment? These can be intense emotions when living with someone who frequently travels for work. Elizabeth Vahey Smith and I discuss the principles from her book the ‘Practice of Processing’ and how . Elizabeth is an author, a speaker and the COO of TCK Training. What this episode is about: Elizabeth Vahey Smith takes us on an essential journey of: Understanding emotions: there are no negative emotions Developing an emotional vocabulary The consequences of ignoring emotions The globally mobile life that can amplify emotions Developing the habit of intentionally processing emotions Dealing with triggers Validating emotions Teens and emotions How community helps You can contact Elizabeth here: https://www.tcktraining.com/ Elizabeth’s book: ‘The Practice of Processing’ Resources mentioned in the episode: Emotions Wheel TCK Training debriefings Lauren Wells book ‘The Grief Tower’ Enjoyed This Episode? Please Leave A Review Please leave a review or a comment. This will help more people find the podcast and get encouragement for this very specific lifestyle!…

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Holding the Fort Abroad

Holding the Fort Abroad

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