أفضل بودكاسات I Survivor (2024)

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Listen Now: Killer Psyche 6:59

19d ago6:59

6:59

When a shocking crime occurs, people ask “Why?” Was it about power, ego, or revenge? On Killer Psyche, retired FBI agent Candice DeLong draws on her decades of experience to reveal why these murderers and criminals committed these heinous acts. She will reveal fascinating new details about what drove these people, including cases she was close to. …

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S4 Ep2 - Claire "I Ignored It and I Believed Him Because He's the Storyteller [Neil Gaiman]" 1:20:21

3M ago1:20:21

1:20:21

Claire (she/her) uses a pseudonym to share her story about being groomed and sexually coerced and manipulated by world-renowned author Neil Gaiman. We discuss the power of stories and fame, and she shares how journaling, therapy, and friendships have helped her find her center in her own story. We originally spoke in 2022, and at that time she deci…

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S4 Ep1 Lindsey - "I Remember Thinking I'm Selling My Soul to the Devil" 35:49

1+ y ago35:49

35:49

Lindsey (she/her) tells her story about being groomed, taken advantage of, and sexually violated by a leader in Canada's psychedelic healing world. Learn how she finally recognized the abuse, and found her way to healing and resolution. In this episode, she asked to use a pseudonym and to have her voice masked, as she says this prominent facilitato…

1
S3 Ep8 Kat - "I Certainly Lost Faith in People" 39:41

2+ y ago39:41

39:41

Kat (she/her) shares her story of sexual violation during 4 days of a psychedelic therapy session with a well-known clinician. We discuss the healing she was seeking in the first place, the compounding of trauma, and what she both gained and lost from this experience. She requested to use a pseudonym and to have her voice masked to protect her from…

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S3 Ep6 Hannah - "You're Gonna Have to Pay for This" 1:06:11

2+ y ago1:06:11

1:06:11

Hannah (she/her) shares her stories of childhood sexual abuse from several local church leaders in her small town, including her grandfather. We talk about purity culture, keeping secrets, and self-harm. She describes the difficulties of her healing journey, as well as what has helped along the way, including art. Support the podcast at patreon.com…

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S3 Ep5 Pat - "This Person Held the Trust of So Many" 1:01:03

3y ago1:01:03

1:01:03

Pat (they/them) shares a story long held secret, about their employer and colleague who offered to be their tantric teacher, then lied and manipulated and abused them. Hear how they healed from the trauma of not just that relationship, but also the ejection from that community, and what took them deeper into their own family history and catharsis. …

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S3 Ep4 Gabi - "This Has Happened Before" 53:57

3y ago53:57

53:57

Gabi (she/they) calls out two local perpetrators - a friend and community leader who sexually assaulted her during a massage, and the CEO of a solar power company who sexually harassed and assaulted her. We talk about failed community justice processes, and how telling her story and naming the offenders has given Gabi an increased sense of strength…

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S3 Ep3 Elle - "I Have This Connection With Her, And I'm Betraying Her" 43:30

3y ago43:30

43:30

Elle (she/her) shares her story of a sudden betrayal by her eating disorder therapist, a sexualized violation during their last meeting. She describes the conflict within herself as she receives various feedback from family and friends, and then learning that her other therapist is filing a report against the perpetrator. After a return of previous…

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S3 Ep2 Tom - "Didn't Make Space For Any of My Truth" 1:09:01

3y ago1:09:01

1:09:01

Tom (he/him) shares his story of how childhood sexual abuse primed him to be sexually abused by his high school counselor, believing for years that they had a good relationship. He describes how this also set him up to be similarly enthralled by a professor and supervisor at his graduate school who also violated professional boundaries as well as h…

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S3Ep1 Lee Anne - "But It Wasn't Over" 45:29

3y ago45:29

45:29

Lee Anne (she/her) shares her story of being assaulted on a date with a firefighter. Being polyamorous was one more reason she was reluctant to file a police report. She describes her healing journey, which included support from her husband, and finding new boundaries for dating again, when she was ready. As a medical practitioner, Lee Anne also sh…

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S2 Ep12 Deborah - "I Didn't Know What I'd Done Wrong" 45:33

3+ y ago45:33

45:33

Deborah, a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor and Clinical Addictions Specialist, shares her story of coming to terms with several sexual assaults as well as returning memories of childhood sexual abuse. She details her struggles with not only addiction, but disordered eating, and her success with sobriety, AA, and intuitive eating. Support …

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S2Ep11 Kellie - "He Would Get This Certain Look In His Eyes" 42:36

3+ y ago42:36

42:36

Kellie, a licensed clinical mental health counselor, tells her story of intimate partner sexual violence, including severe manipulation and control behaviors by her boyfriend at the time. We discuss her exit from that relationship, other types of abuse she has suffered, and how she found healing through EMDR and Sensorimotor Psychotherapy. Support …

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S2Ep10 Rachael - "All of a Sudden It Came Tumbling Down" 1:00:54

3+ y ago1:00:54

1:00:54

Rachael, an LCSW, shares her story of returning memories at age 38, of childhood sexual abuse by her father. She describes her healing journey, including telling her family and cutting off her father, as well as finding wholeness with the support of her wife. We also discuss some of the spiritual aspects of doing healing work with sexual trauma. Su…

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S2Ep9 Janitta - "We Are All in a World Full of Broken People" 52:50

3+ y ago52:50

52:50

Janitta, a life coach, shares her story of being sexually abused as a child by various family members, and sexually assaulted and harassed as police officer in adulthood. We discuss the intersection of black culture and sexual trauma, and her perspectives on the generations of trauma in her family. She describes her arc of healing through her faith…

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S2Ep7 Veronica - "Coercion Is Still Rape" 1:02:25

4y ago1:02:25

1:02:25

Veronica, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, describes being sexually coerced, manipulated, and assaulted during a long term relationship. She shares how she left the relationship, and how her experiences inform her work as a therapist, including using appropriate transparency about her own trauma.…

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S2Ep8 Jamie - "I Thought I Had Caused All of It" 1:01:37

4y ago1:01:37

1:01:37

Jamie, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, and Certified Sex Therapist, shares her story of multiple incidents of child sexual abuse and rape as an adolescent. In addition to offering many insights and helpful terms as both a therapist and survivor, she also describes how her trauma has impacted her work, and in her view, prepared her for wor…

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S2Ep6 Mark - "Because I Didn't Have Power" 50:05

4y ago50:05

50:05

Mark, a licensed Associate Marriage and Family Therapist, describes being groomed for years by a teacher, and growing out of the abuse rather than ending it. He shares his own healing journey, including a powerful EMDR therapy session which provided major insight and growth.بقلم Papillon DeBoer

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S2Ep5 Carey - "Someone Else Was Supposed To Protect Me" 57:30

4y ago57:30

57:30

Carey, a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor, shares her story of extensive childhood sexual abuse, amidst a chaotic family environment exacerbated by two addicted parents. She describes her healing journey, including sobriety, and how the therapeutic modalities she first encountered as a client inform her work with trauma survivors now.…

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S2Ep4 Grey - "And Now Suddenly I Had Lost Control of My Own Story" 1:03:29

4y ago1:03:29

1:03:29

Grey, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, shares their story of childhood sexual violation by an older neighbor, and how they attempted to keep it a secret until sharing with a family member, who reported it to Grey's mother. Grey describes their healing journey in reclaiming and understanding their own story, and how that experience impacts their w…

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S2Ep3 Eric - "I Didn't Have My Own Feelings" 53:27

4y ago53:27

53:27

Eric, a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor (and more, including addictions and sex therapy) shares his story of covert incest, and how he was confronted with his own trauma and worked to heal it. In this episode, he shares a number of valuable resources for recognizing and healing from covert and emotional incest, which he uses in his work w…

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S2Ep2 Angela - "It Feels Like They're Grains of Sand" 53:51

4y ago53:51

53:51

Angela, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, shares her story of a whole spectrum of unwanted and abusive sexual experiences, including date rape as a teenager. She details what was useful in her own healing journey, and how it enables her to work effectively with couples.بقلم Papillon DeBoer

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S2Ep1 Poppy - "All That Rage Came Out of Tremendous Loneliness and Pain" 57:14

4y ago57:14

57:14

As the host of Am I Broken, I share my own story of sexual abuse, fragments that I've recovered over the years, and how the trauma and the healing I've done impact my work as a therapist.بقلم Papillon DeBoer

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S1Ep17 Bonus Episode 3 - Mapping the Healing Path 1:05:45

4+ y ago1:05:45

1:05:45

Papillon and Andrew discuss the Healing Path - what is it? What does healing look like, and what identifiable steps can it include?بقلم Papillon DeBoer

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S1Ep14 John - "By Trying to Protect Yourself So Much, You Actually Injure Yourself" 37:46

4+ y ago37:46

37:46

John shares his story of sexual abuse when he was five years old, by a teenage babysitter, and the secondary trauma of his parents refusing to support his recovery. He describes suffering from extreme anxiety, and using opiates to cope, and his struggles with addiction. John's faith and his self-regulation skills have helped his healing journey.…

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S1Ep13 Tomi - "It Felt Hopeless" 36:10

4+ y ago36:10

36:10

Tomi shares his journey through flashbacks of incest perpetrated by his mother, and additional sexual abuse incidents outside the home. He describes his struggles with substance abuse and the healing and growth he found through Alcoholics Anonymous, and then Adult Children of Alcoholics. Tomi now understands that he was not born rotten, but that he…

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S1Ep16 Bonus Episode 2 - Mapping the Healing Path 55:36

4+ y ago55:36

55:36

In this bonus episode, licensed trauma therapists Papillon DeBoer and Andrew Barnett discuss their work with male survivors, focusing on working with shame and boundaries. These issues are near-universal for all survivors of sexual trauma, and so this episode should be helpful for survivors of any gender, loved ones of survivors, and therapists.…

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S1Ep15 Bonus Episode 1 - Mapping the Healing Path 47:29

4+ y ago47:29

47:29

In this season's bonus episodes, licensed therapists Papillon DeBoer and Andrew Barnett describe working with male survivors for Our Voice. This first episode covers how safer space is created for survivors to do group work. The bonus mini-series is complementary to Am I Broken, and is intended for survivors, allies and therapists to gain a refined…

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S1Ep11 George - "I Did Not Understand What He Was Doing" 43:41

4+ y ago43:41

43:41

George describes growing up in a large Catholic family, and being sexually abused by 3 different priests over the course of more than a decade. He shares his slow journey out of blaming himself for the abuse, and believing that he was a "shitty person" - healing through his marriage, and group counseling. Having locked away a part of himself, Georg…

1
S1Ep12 Taylor - "There Was Just This Open Wound That Wasn't Healed" 55:14

4+ y ago55:14

55:14

Taylor shares his story of, from a young age, being not only sexually abused, but also verbally and emotionally abused, and gaslit, by an older sibling. As a result of this abuse, he finds himself unable to set boundaries or believe his own experience. And as he ages, he experiences sexual harassment from teachers, professors, and a therapist. Tayl…

1
S1Ep9 Larry - "My Body Isn't My Own" 40:57

4+ y ago40:57

40:57

Larry describes being raped and stalked by his RA in Job Corpsبقلم Papillon DeBoer

1
S1Ep7 Antanas - "It Was a Violent Transaction" 40:15

4+ y ago40:15

40:15

Antanas describes a sexual assault in adolescence by his closest female friend, to whom he looked for protection from bullying.بقلم Papillon DeBoer

1
S1Ep8 Ben - "I Did Not Have Any Memory Even Then" 49:04

4+ y ago49:04

49:04

Ben describes piecing together details from his own behaviors and several mental breakdowns, resulting in a revelation that he had been drugged and sexually assaulted at 8 years old by an adult neighbor.بقلم Papillon DeBoer

1
S1Ep5 Mike - "It's Not Consent" 46:01

5y ago46:01

46:01

Mike shares his story of multiple victimizations as a child and teenager, including one sexual assault by a priest.بقلم Papillon DeBoer

1
S1Ep6 Stephen - "And I Believed What He Told Me" 58:32

5y ago58:32

58:32

Stephen describes how he was molested as a child by a farmhand, who used the fact that Stephen was adopted to manipulate him. Stephen also shares the story of how, as an adult, he confronted that pedophile on his deathbed.بقلم Papillon DeBoer

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S1Ep1 Calvin - "Second Degree Sexual Assault on a Minor" 49:23

5y ago49:23

49:23

Calvin describes his childhood sexual abuse by a mentor, who he learns also abused other boys. The case goes to court.بقلم Papillon DeBoer

1
S1Ep2 Brett - "All I Could See Was the Bad Things" 39:42

5y ago39:42

39:42

Brett shares his story of childhood sexual abuse by a babysitter, which he kept secret until adulthood.بقلم Papillon DeBoer

1
S1Ep3 Jamal - "I'm Not Imagining Something, I'm Actually Remembering" 37:13

5y ago37:13

37:13

Jamal describes the arrival of fragmented childhood sexual abuse memories, first by a neighbor, and then by a stepfather.بقلم Papillon DeBoer

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S1Ep4 Matthew - "And He Was Like, That's Just Something We All Have to Go Through" 28:40

5y ago28:40

28:40

Matthew describes the sudden recovery of a memory of childhood incest, and the effects it had on his life.بقلم Papillon DeBoer

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Swimming It Out 43:15

6+ y ago43:15

43:15

A single traumatic event can change life in the blink of an eye. It can destroy you, enrage you, and even fuel the fire within you. Nancy Hogshead-Makar was raped in college but she didn’t allow that to take over her life. Instead, Nancy channeled her fury into Olympic gold. This is I, Survivor. To hear more episodes, listen exclusively with Wonder…

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Introducing I, Survivor 2:33

6+ y ago2:33

2:33

The assault, the manipulation, the fear, the triumph. I, Survivor premieres on July 31. Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen. To hear more episodes, listen exclusively with Wondery+. Join Wondery+ for this and more exclusives, binges, early access, and ad free listening. Available in the Wondery App. https://wondery.app.link/mT4GXWxq…

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