OMG Leave me ALONE!! My name is “That’s the Name of a Beer”. I’m a Capricorn, as if you care. Come join me every other week at the crossroads of inebriation and despair as I delve into the depths of banal monotony. What am I about? Does it even matter - you’ll never get it anyway. It’s not like I’m about beer or anything. I’m just a madhouse and these are my orderlies: Chez, Jules, and Shariar. Lobotomies available upon request. [Music: Dvorak Polka by Kevin Macleod | Source: filmmusic.io/so ...
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Ep 206: The Amazing Race: To Anywhere But Here
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OMG Leave me ALONE!! Our vacations always suck! I hate these shithole places from ALT to Athens. People suck! Locals suck! You suck!... DAD! The world is going to boil soon, so what does it matter what ocean I piss in. One person’s oyster might be another person’S HELL. 🦪🐚بقلم Chez, Jules, Shariar
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Ep 205: Constellation Clusterfuck: Authors Take On Mainstream Scientists
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OMG Leave me ALONE!! I am trying to mindmeld with this Alien and establish a Force Dyad. Humans SUCK. I’m so OVER them. I want to mount a pyramid and ride a dragon to climax into the DARK heart of a black hole, while my alien orderlies singe odes of my demise into the scrotum of my step-dad. Only then would my TRUTH be heard. Anyway - listen to thi…
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Ep 204: Circle of Strife: Why Animals Can’t Achieve Nirvana
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OMG Leave me ALONE!! There are two things I hate most in the world - polar bears and mislabelled countries. Polar Bears cuz they’re white, and mislabelled countries cuz I hate lies. Greenland, my ass! Why can’t global warming hurry the fuck up and solve both of my problems. That’s why I hate vegans cuz they’re trying to slow that shit down. Make bo…
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Ep 203: Barrel Aged: I Thwip My Web Back and Forth
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OMG Leave me ALONE!! I’m watching Toby McGuire cry and pondering the mystery of his upper lip. How does it disappear? If only my step-dad would disappear.I heard some noise coming from the back yard, so I started digging and found my old opinions on Andrew Garfield. Everyone likes a redemption arc, and he’s okay now, but we must never forget that h…
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OMG Leave me ALONE!! I’m trying to sacrifice a goat to our lord and savior Lucifer (from Cinderella). Too bad that bitch is dead. But Batman, the one true hedgelord, taught me that there is one thing that trumps all powers in the cosmos: MONEY! Blood Diamonds black as my soul. So in this episode my orderlies probe into the depths of the depraved wo…
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Ep 201: My Sandaconda Don’t Want None Unless You Got Poffins Hun
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OMG Leave me ALONE!! I’d normally play Pokémon BLACK, but I was envious of last season (cuz it got to die). So I played Leaf GREEN instead. Can you believe this fucking game doesn’t even have DARK types. What the fuck Miyamoto. DARK types matter! 💢 [Music: Battle! (Wild Pokémon) | Source: https://soundlibrary.pokemon.co.jp/en/musicbox | Rights Noti…
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Ep 118: Season’s (Finale (FINALLY)) Greetings
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OMG HI! I like missed you guys! It's been like a year since I was born, SO… I’ve been like partying hardy! Just one question though, is it like normal to feel a burning sensation after you turn 1. Like constantly. I know it's not chlamydia because the Ivermectin shots protect me from all viruses. Whatever, Happy Holidays. *COUGH* 🤧…
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Ep 117: Can’t Spell DAmageD Without Dad
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OMG! HI! What’s my relationship with my dad? None of your business. I don’t have daddy issues, you do! I’m not trying to get back at anyone! I only date older men cuz of the security, and they only yell at me cuz they want me to be best. 👴💖 [News Theme 2 by Audionautix is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 license. https://creativeco…
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Glory to Putin! Привет comrade Dimitri! It is I, normal American podcast. Today we discuss normal American movie about normal American girls (not secretly Russian agents) with strong backs and thick horse-like legs. What did you say?! You are not Dimitri?! Нет! In Soviet Russia beer names YOU! 🇺🇸بقلم Chez, Jules, Shariar
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OMG HI! Welcome to That’s the Name of a Beer. I’m sorry service is taking so long; we’re a little short-staffed. Wait, what? You want to speak to my manager? You want to know what my name is? Did you JUST call me a rude GIRL? I’M A PODCAST. HOW DARE YOU ASSUME MY GENDER! I am non-binary, and you will respect my pronouns or lack thereof.…
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Ep 114: Kamikaze Conglomerate: Otra Vez
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OMG HI! Is that a bomb in my throat?... Or is this podcast about to blow its load? Wait! Is that a man? Duh! Holler!!! OMG hold up! IS THAT A WEREWOLF! I gotta weasel my way out of this! It’s Mr. Eat Your Babies! a.k.a. A Texan Abortion, The Sentient Clothes Hanger … Bird 🐦بقلم Chez, Jules, Shariar
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Ep 113: Barrel Aged: Doctor, Do Little
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OMG HI! It’s been so long. Sorry, I’ve been very busy. Just got tested. Not COVID. Chlamydia. Which makes no sense because I already have crabs. How does a podcast get crabs you ask? By acting a little Nutty and Party(ing) All the Time. So this one’s from cask - enjoy it till we’re back. 🍺بقلم Chez, Jules, Shariar
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Ep 112: The Alpha and the Ermergerd: Baptism by Grits
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Ermergerd! Helllurrrr! Just cooking some grits over herrrr, I gots me a date with the law tomorrow for beating some lil punk’s bee-hind out the school bus last week. You see here, I told him - I said, I told him not to be disrespectin’ brother Perry. Kids these days, they don’t have any respeck! Out here getting me all hot and bothered, got 4 kids …
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Ep 111: They Own Everything! Hail Disney!
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OMG HI! Do you want to build a podcast? Maybe this time there’s a guest 👸? So let’s get down to business, and make up some puns. Did he ask permission, when he groped them buns? No. In the dark of the night, he will come find her (Disney). In the dark of the night, he will just smooch her (please don’t sue us). Fools can't you see that your Prince …
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Ep 110: Seestur, Seestuuuurr… F*cker?
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OMG HI! Nii-San! I think I’m stuck in the washing machine! Please help! TERE MAA-KI ... What the hell are you doing?! STOP! You fucking BHENCHOD!بقلم Chez, Jules, Shariar
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OMG HI! As we go on, we remember… wait, that's copyrighted. No but seriously, my best years are behind me 😭 (not just my best assets 🍑)!!! Do you guys remember the cheerleaders and jocks from back in the day? Boy was it fun to be a bully 😳. Wait, what’s that? You’re saying I’m a dork? FUCK YOU!!!بقلم Chez, Jules, Shariar
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OMG HI!! Why does it smell like fucking nerd and desperation here? These weebs are all staring at me like they’ve never seen a fine, independent podcast before. Make like the guy who wrote “The Very Hungry Caterpillar” and …. oooh what a pretty picture. That Nightwing’s got a nice ass. You know what - you guys are alright (but y’all need soap). I g…
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OMG HI!! Sugarcane, Plantains, and all the Curry Spice. Those were the ingredients chosen to make the perfect little siblings. But Professor Padres accidentally added an extra ingredient to the concoction … a second X Chromosome. Thus the jackasses were born. Using their ultra super powers, they dedicated their lives to being dicks and being better…
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Ep 106: Mortal Cole’s Bad: Bi-Han-ds Off
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OMG HI! Oh man it’s been a bloody week for me. I’m so sorry, but I’ve been a little moody. I’m so sore and feel so Cole’d, I need to sweat it out. The only solution is HELLFIRE, or I guess we could cuddle. SO GET OVER HERE! YOUR SOUL IS MINE! 🦂بقلم Chez, Jules, Shariar
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Friends, Romans, Countrymen... OMG HI! Please hit the blue light button because like Zeus is trying to bone everyone. He’s in the Alpha Omega frat and we don’t mess with them. They’re gross, and sometimes they soak you in pee. Also they keep saying they’ll take you to Olympus, but they like don’t even know where the clitoris is.…
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OMG HI! Your grip is so strong. I love your biceps. Are you going to spank me with that belt? Are we gonna 69 or are we gonna 619? Am I the bottom ----- cuz Stone Cold said so? Come powerbomb my inhibitions, split me asunder and wrestle with my demons. 💉💪بقلم Chez, Jules, Shariar
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Ep 103: Just Ass League: The THICC Cut
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OMG! HI! I just sat through the longest thing I’ve EVER experienced. So raw, so uncut, and it looks so much better in black. I’m talking about Superman you pervs. It’s the Snyder cut. Justice God intended. ⚖️بقلم Chez, Jules, Shariar
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OMG HI! I can't believe you came again, and so soon. Today we're discussing... Chun Li's thighs. WHY ISN'T THERE A NAME FOR THIS?! Well... if you love dragon fisting, and eating chicken wings, and you don't know what the fuck Yoshimitsu is (samurai, ninja, or alien), then bump the Guile theme and listen up. 🥰…
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Ep 101: A Literary Analysis of James Joyce
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OMG HI! I'M SO GLAD YOU CLICKED ON ME! You're a kinky bitch. Welcome! We kinda are just talking about how I was conceived: through discourse not intercourse, you perv. I'm just a little old podcast after all. 😘بقلم Chez, Shariar
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