Note There Will Be Crossbows podcast

1
Franchise 21:43

منذ 3 years21:43

21:43

Two brothers come into a large fortune and promptly open up their own McDonald's franchise, but will their lack of business acumen sink the venture before it even gets afloat?

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Suburbs 18:38

منذ 3 years18:38

18:38

The Suburbs: the most dreaded frontier of the modern age. In this ruthless, action-packed episode, terrorists begin their hostile takeover of the a neighborhood, only to get sidetracked with second jobs and malfunctioning security robots. Also at some point the episode just becomes about pizza. Sorry about that.…

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Monarchy 24:12

منذ 3 years24:12

24:12

Royal family drama ensues in this shocking new episode of Crossbows! Follow the adventures of Rutherford, Bea, and Hayes as they navigate a shifting monarchy after the death of the king.

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Choir 19:13

منذ 3 years19:13

19:13

Two poor saps kicked out of their choir on the same day face entirely different destinies after they try to salvage their careers at the local jazz club open mic night.

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Contradictions 17:17

منذ 3 years17:17

17:17

A young boy questions his faith in a provocative episode that quickly spirals out of control and becomes about Tilda Swinton.

1
Bugs 11:09

منذ 3 years11:09

11:09

When a child is forced to wear an unusual Halloween costume by their parent, all hell breaks loose in a town infested by entomologists.

1
Ranch 13:26

منذ 3 years13:26

13:26

From picking out salad dressing to eating human faces, this episode runs the gamut. We're sorry in advance for all the people we insulted in Hungaria, which is definitely a real country.

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Alaska 18:44

منذ 3 years18:44

18:44

Survive the frozen wasteland that is Alaska. Bears, guns, global warming, and craft beer all pose dangerous threats in this special episode dedicated to the 49th state!

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Swarm, Autobiography, Illness 17:40

منذ 3 years17:40

17:40

It's a Crossbows Mini-Sode! A kiddo gets his dream gift in the form of many horrific insects, Ozzy's autobiography gets cleaned up by his ghostwriter, and a very mysterious pandemic afflicts a very dumb person. All this and more!

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Big Game Hunters 16:06

منذ 4 years16:06

16:06

In this epic mini-sode, big game hunters and presidential assassins argue ethics, and we learn why having all your neighbors on speed dial can be a disaster.

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There Will Be Crossbows LIVE from the Living Room 20:16

منذ 4 years20:16

20:16

Wow, our first live show in 8 years! We booked the fanciest venue available to us, James's living room, and performed in front of an enraptured audience consisting of three of our family members! It doesn't get grander than that, folks. To top it off, we bring back the legendary "TrivProv" format as a throwback to the historic Bonner Springs improv scene circa 2008. Don't miss this once in a lifetime event!…

1
Global Warming & The Olympics 8:56

منذ 4 years8:56

8:56

It's a mini-sode! A couple of braniacs solve global warming, but have trouble stopping it. In a bonus scene, the Olympics comes to Tennessee!

1
The Hayden Christensen School of Acting 8:51

منذ 4 years8:51

8:51

It's a Crossbow mini-sode! Acclaimed actor Hayden Christensen tries to recruit more students for his acting workshop.

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The Curator & The Egg 12:14

منذ 4 years12:14

12:14

It's a Crossbows Mini-sode! A con artist gets his comeuppance and a black market dodo bird egg is the subject on intense negotiation.

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Granite & Reward 8:35

منذ 4 years8:35

8:35

It's a Crossbows Mini-sode! Enjoy a quickly escalating altercation with a paperboy and a wish-granting hamster!

There Will Be Crossbows

1
Neighbors 8:04

منذ 4 years8:04

8:04

It's a Crossbows Mini-Sode! Enjoy our three-part "Neighbors" arc.

There Will Be Crossbows

1
Granulation 23:53

منذ 4 years23:53

23:53

What is improv, if not breaking apart something into little pieces of material? Please, don't reflect on that sentence, it makes less sense the longer you thing about it. The theme is "granulation", and we go from a hostile intern takeover of the sugar factory to a behind-the-scenes look at acclaimed actor Hayden Christenson's award-winning performance as Anakin Skywalker. Enjoy the whole episode in one go or listen to three-second segments once daily over the course of the year.…

There Will Be Crossbows

1
Order 28:05

منذ 4 years28:05

28:05

Order! Order in the podcast! Has one word every implied so much coordination, organization, and control as "order"? No, at least not until we debut our brand new word, "Controorganization" next week. For now, you'll have to make due with this episode filled with virtual reality gone wrong, oligarchic tornados, and chaos in the kitchen. Listen now, and then please alphabetize the other 96 episodes by this afternoon.…

There Will Be Crossbows

1
Gravity 29:43

منذ 4 years29:43

29:43

In a very serious, down to earth episode, the very laws of physics are challenged. An astronaut gets sent to certain death, wacky Isaac Newton comes up with a crazy discovery, and the president finally has to deal with climate change. Enjoy the episode before everything comes crashing down!

There Will Be Crossbows

1
Soup 30:20

منذ 4 years30:20

30:20

Nothing like "Soup" at the beginning of summer! On this episode, an orphanage looks for ways to cut costs, a food truck owner questions his business decisions, and a culinary reality show goes off the rails. Enjoy this one while it's hot!

There Will Be Crossbows

1
Ears 31:16

منذ 4 years31:16

31:16

Listen up, cause it's time we finally talked about the unsightly fleshly appendages which allow us the gift of hearing at the expense of being unsightly fleshly appendages. A little kiddo keeps getting his ear-doctors fired, the Italian Vincent Van Gogh shows his eccentricities, and an a cappella bassist with a rather unfortunate face comes up with a hit song. Use your ears to listen to "Ears"!…

There Will Be Crossbows

1
Jiggle 32:57

منذ 4 years32:57

32:57

It's Jiggle Time! In what is probably the least stable episode yet, James and John riff on the many uses of the word "jiggle" in a free-form improv set. A young man is put to the test of adulthood by his cruel father, the dance callback for CATS goes awry, and some dumb criminals attempt a simple breaking and entering job. You'll be jiggling with laughter at this silly show (or possibly, you're having an allergic reaction to the improv and we should probably take you to the hospital).…

There Will Be Crossbows

1
Shrimp 31:01

منذ 4 years31:01

31:01

Mmm, shrimp! As any good improvisor knows, food makes the BEST suggestion for a longform show, and this is no exception. A restaurant customer's deep hunger can't be satiated, a weakling hits the empathy gym, and the Shrimp Shrack tries to expand its menu. Pop a few of this episode into your mouth and don't think twice!…

There Will Be Crossbows

1
Coconut 31:48

منذ 4 years31:48

31:48

Clop, clop, clop -- it's time for a whole improv show based on the most beloved of tropical fruits, the noble coconut! Tropical Tony hires a Coconut Boy to help him advertise, two poor saps find themselves stranded on a tropical island, and a pair felons escape to the Maldives only to be pursued by hitmen sporting questionable foreign accents. Before you enjoy the episode, make sure to knock your fist against it a couple times just to make sure it's ripe.…

There Will Be Crossbows

1
Marbles 30:55

منذ 4 years30:55

30:55

Thish eeshpidos off Thrawiba Croshbrwo - oh, sorry, let me take these marbles out of my mouth so you can understand. It's a brand new longform-style improv show from the Crossbow dudes, and the theme is "Marbles"! Michelangelo coasts through a commission in Renaissance Italy, a couple of kids find their passion, and a home remodel unburies more than family memories. Bring yourself back to a simpler time by enjoying "Marbles"!…

There Will Be Crossbows

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Loud 29:30

منذ 4 years29:30

29:30

OH MY GOD YOU GUYS WE MADE A NEW EPISODE IT'S CALLED LOUD AND IT'S A LONGFORM IMPROV FORMAT THAT YOU'RE GONNA LOVE AND - oh, sorry, you're just right there. Inside voice. Got it. Two engineers try to solve a very unmysterious mystery, a feud develops between local bell-tower operators, and a baby runs off for the enchanted forest, only to be pursued by the one and only Jim Morrison. Play this one with the volume MAXXED OUT!…

There Will Be Crossbows

1
Expansion 29:51

منذ 4 years29:51

29:51

This week we try out a classic longform improv format to shake up the show a bit! The dark truth behind Settlers of Catan is revealed, a colonization mission to Mars is rife with family drama, and a man has a very interesting approach to designing his home. Expand your own horizons with this wacky episode of Crossbows!…

There Will Be Crossbows

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Patio 29:14

منذ 4 years29:14

29:14

The weather is getting warmer, so we all got PATIOS on the mind, right? Well, instead of spending time outside, why don't you enjoy a patio-themed improv show instead? A guy mansplains his way through a wine tasting, some friends attempt the Biergarten Challenge, and Berb's Discount Patio Furniture gets an unusual customer. Sit back and enjoy the imaginary sun!…

There Will Be Crossbows

1
Note 30:47

منذ 4 years30:47

30:47

Has one word ever yielded so many possibilities? Yeah, probably. But this week's theme is "note", so that's what you get. An over-expressive actor gets kicked out of the high school musical and gets creative revenge, a student gives her friend a very considerate rejection to a love letter, John practices being a good Christian woman, and James sings Nickelback. Enjoy the episode, and write all your favorite parts down somewhere before you forget!…

There Will Be Crossbows

1
Bratwurst 29:51

منذ 4 years29:51

29:51

If you want the wurst German accents you've ever heard, then this week's podcast is for you! James and John have differing opinions on sausages, little Hans gets breakfast brats from his Mutter, and Grandpa dies from (you guessed it) eating too much bratwurst. It's a very subtle episode.

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