Compassion and Autonomy in Autism Therapy with Kaitlin Wilder

The Autism Roundtable

How can we support autistic children with more compassion and less control? In this episode of The Autism Round Table, host Leah Gross sits down with behavior analyst and life coach Kaitlin Wilder to explore a new, heart-centered approach to working with autistic individuals. From challenging outdated models of behavior therapy to introducing tools from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Kaitlin offers a refreshing and deeply empathetic perspective on what it means to truly connect with and understand autistic children.

Key Questions Explored in the Episode:

• What is Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA), and how does it shape the behavior of autistic children?
• How can therapists and parents balance structure with compassion?
• What role does Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) play in behavior support?
• How can we validate a child’s emotions while still encouraging growth?
• Why is it essential to challenge traditional ideas of “normal” in autism therapy?

Kaitlin Wilder shares her transformation from traditional behavioral frameworks to a more holistic, human-centered practice. Drawing from her 15 years of experience, she explains how compassion and flexibility can make therapy more effective and sustainable. The conversation touches on the growing awareness of PDA, the integration of ACT to promote emotional awareness and value-based motivation, and the importance of meeting children where they are—without judgment or force. Together, Leah and Kaitlin explore how turning toward pain and discomfort can lead to greater freedom, both for parents and children, in their shared journey of growth.

Time Stamps:

00:00 Kaitlin’s Journey into Autism Coaching

04:29 Understanding Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA)

12:54 Compassion and Validation in ABA

25:29 Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)

32:48 Motivating Through Values

33:16 Understanding Human Emotions with ACT

34:40 Challenging the Concept of Normal

37:23 The Role of Authority in Therapy

39:11 Empowering Parents and Children

44:16 Turning Towards Pain for Freedom

49:40 Connecting with Children on Their Level

Ready to reimagine what compassionate support looks like for autistic children?

Tune in to the full episode for practical tools, heartfelt stories, and expert insights from Kaitlin Wilder.