The Science of Love, Desire and Attachment

Huberman Lab

In this episode, I discuss the psychology and biology of desire, love and attachment. I explain how childhood attachment types are thought to inform adult attachment styles to romantic partners, and I describe some of the major theories of human mate selection, relationships and infidelity. Additionally, I explore the neurobiology and proposed subconscious processing underlying desire, love and attachment, including the roles of empathy and “positive delusion." I outline how self-awareness can shift one’s relationship attachment style towards securely bonded partnerships. Finally, I describe specific tools and supplements that have been researched to increase libido and sex drive. Throughout the episode, I explain the science and key mechanisms underlying romantic love and outline tools for those seeking to find a strong, healthy relationship, or for those wanting to strengthen an existing relationship.

For the full show notes, visit hubermanlab.com.

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Timestamps

(00:00:00) Desire, Love & Attachment

(00:02:59) Odor, Perceived Attractiveness & Birth Control

(00:08:21) Sponsors: AG1, LMNT

(00:14:13) Romance: Balancing Love & Desire

(00:19:00) Animal Studies, Vasopressin & Monogamy

(00:22:06) Strange Situation Task, Childhood Attachment Styles

(00:32:52) Adult Attachment Styles

(00:38:50) Secure Attachment

(00:41:23) Autonomic Arousal: The “See-Saw”

(00:50:39) Tool: Self-Awareness, Healthy Interdependence

(00:53:11) Neurobiology of Desire, Love & Attachment

(00:58:02) Empathy & Mating & the Autonomic Nervous System

(01:10:02) Positive Delusion, Touch

(01:15:20) Relationship Stability

(01:21:22) Selecting Mates, Recognition of Autonomic Tone

(01:38:28) Neural Mechanisms of Romantic Attachment

(01:47:43) Autonomic Coordination in Relationships

(01:56:13) Infidelity & Cheating

(02:08:56) “Chemistry”, Subconscious Processes

(02:12:44) Tools: Libido & Sex Drive

(02:20:20) Maca (Maca root)

(02:25:58) Tongkat Ali (Longjack)

(02:28:56) Tribulus terrestris

(02:33:14) Zero-Cost Support, YouTube, Spotify/Apple Reviews, Sponsors, Instagram, Twitter, Supplements

Title Card Photo Credit: Mike Blabac

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