094 – Interview With Malaysian Ex-Muslimah Umaira

Friendly Exmuslim Podcast

In this podcast, I interview an ex-Muslim Malay lady, Umaira. She explains how Islam impacted her family, her upbringing as well as her own life. She also details how she left Islam, found the ex-Muslim community online and came out to her mother as an apostate. The YouTube version of this interview can be found here: https://youtu.be/iXxLS6nkjew Here are the timestamps: 0:00 Introductions2:32 What made Umaira want to share her story and how she came across the ex-Muslim community.5:58 Umaira’s family and religious background16:02 Malay magazines used to instill fear in young Muslims so that they remain devout. The concept of punishment in the grave and how prevalent it is in the Malay community28:16 Umaira’s first encounter of befriending non-Malay and non-Muslim kids and how it made her rethink Quran 3/12.38:40 The rape problem in Malay communities mostly by Muslim Malay men in spite of the enforcement of stringent purity culture.42:30 Some Muslim schools require women to prove that they’re on periods before they can be exempted from prayers.46:33 Umaira’s experience of being bullied at school.49:50 How the supposedly pious hijabis are the ones who are engaging in haram acts. Problems with a sexually repressed society.1:00:37 Channel announcements1:01:05 How Umaira’s parents’ relationship impacted her dating life1:07:45 The system of dowry and how it commodifies people.1:13:20 How Umaira’s parents’ relationship impacted her dating life (continued)1:15:38 Recharging the iman through reading Quran - Challenging Islamic tropes used to scare Muslims.1:23:36 Umaira’s belief on her being a person with agency. Nominal Muslims living double lives.1:28:42 Umaira’s experience dating an apostate and how it changed her perspective on Islam, dating, and love life.1:31:40 Dawah TikTok and how it led Umaira to the ex-Muslim content and community.1:34:08 Malay preachers justifying marrying young kids, misogyny, and violence against women.1:40:07 What are Umaira’s religious beliefs now?1:43:46 Teenager exposing the rape culture and the misogyny in Malaysian School.1:47:10 Dr. Zakir Naik and how he is held in high regard in the Malay Muslim community.1:51:30 Online harassment by Malay Muslims. Harassment of a trans-Muslim at the hands of both the state and the ordinary people.2:01:45 How the Malaysian media portray the Egypt/Palestine conflict as a religious war rather than a humanitarian crisis affecting not just Muslims2:06:36 Umaira’s coming out experience. Advice to people who want to come out to their friends and loved ones.2:19:38 Final remarks