#141 - Honest Strategies to Combat Sibling Rivalry

All Things Sensory by Harkla

We are often asked about how to deal with fighting between siblings and how to help them get along better.

First off, it’s always useful to remember that fighting is a natural and inevitable part of life between children, and it’s just a matter of making sure that the difficulties that do arise are within a reasonable limit and are not dangerous.

When a child has sensory challenges, these kinds of conflicts can be exacerbated and in some cases may be harder to deal with; sensory processing and verbal communication challenges can lead to outbursts and aggressive behavior.

It’s vital to start understanding the messages that your child is sending you - many of these might be in their body language and patterns of behavior, so if you’re able to identify these you can begin to implement healthy boundaries and changes!

This means identifying the trigger points, finding the why for a difficult dynamic, and responding to these accordingly.

We all need to allow our kiddos to develop healthy and expected play skills, and this comes down to how you are able to preempt and respond to the situation and their patterns. For all this and a whole lot more, listen in with us!

Key Points From This Episode:

• Setting consistent boundaries to manage the inevitable fighting that occurs between siblings.
• Identifying the trigger points for aggression between siblings.
• Overstimulation, struggles with play, troubles with communication, and more!
• Measures to take in the case of a fight or the breaking of a boundary.
• The education that is needed for better play skills and sharing.
• Modeling good and expected behavior and allowing children to practice this.
• Responses to aggressive behavior; better and worse ways to deal with acting out.
• The vital importance of consistency, follow-through, and clear boundaries.
• Clarifying where the actual problem lies and addressing it head-on.
• A reminder to understand the causes of aggressive behavior in order to target improvement.

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

• Harkla
• Parenting with Love and Logic
• Episode 16 Disciplining a Sensory Kiddo
• The Sensory Project Show Podcast
• The Sensory Project on Facebook
• The Sensory Project on Instagram

Highlights:

“I have an older brother, and we grew up fighting and wrestling and just getting after each other non-stop. I grew up with it, so I have kind of a personal take on the situation, as well as a professional take.” — Rachel Harrington [0:01:39]

“All siblings fight, bicker, wrestle, whatever. I think it's just the natural part of being a family.” — Jessica Hill [0:01:53]

“Maybe your child is becoming overstimulated by too much noise. As your children are playing together, it's getting loud and maybe it's just too much auditory input.” — Jessica Hill [0:03:35]

“All of these factors can lead to aggression, so being able to figure out the why. This is why my child is becoming aggressive. They aren't just an aggressive child. They aren't just hitting to hit. There's typically a reason.” — Rachel Harrington [0:04:46]