Umpire Pants podcast

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تمت الإضافة منذ قبل eight عام

المحتوى المقدم من Umpire Pants. يتم تحميل جميع محتويات البودكاست بما في ذلك الحلقات والرسومات وأوصاف البودكاست وتقديمها مباشرة بواسطة Umpire Pants أو شريك منصة البودكاست الخاص بهم. إذا كنت تعتقد أن شخصًا ما يستخدم عملك المحمي بحقوق الطبع والنشر دون إذنك، فيمكنك اتباع العملية الموضحة هنا https://ar.player.fm/legal.

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Are umpire pants the best pants ever? Mary says yes, her son Bill says no. They also argue about almost everything else.

278 حلقات

#Comedy #Umpire Pants #Costa Rica

Umpire Pants

Umpire Pants explicit

updated منذ عام واحد

منزل السلاسل•Feed

Are umpire pants the best pants ever? Mary says yes, her son Bill says no. They also argue about almost everything else.

278 حلقات

#Comedy #Umpire Pants #Costa Rica

كل الحلقات

Umpire Pants

1
Episode 261: A Cat-tastrophe 50:11

منذ 46 weeks50:11

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50:11

We recorded this a super long time ago so I have no idea what is in here, except the cat walked on the board and played a sound effect so loud I had to edit the file to make it quieter, and I don't edit ANYTHING. I'm doing a Dogme 95 type thing here.

Umpire Pants

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Episode 260: The Knickerbocker Buckaroo 47:22

منذ 1 year47:22

47:22

We talked about some stuff, did some hyntz, the usual

Umpire Pants

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259: Pumps and a Bump 51:41

منذ 1 year51:41

51:41

This is from so long ago all I remember is that we watched the pumps and a bump video

Umpire Pants

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Episode 258: Who knows what this is about 47:44

منذ 2 years47:44

47:44

We recorded this a long time ago and I haven't listened to it yet. I hope we didn't say anything bad!

Umpire Pants

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257: Better late than never 55:23

منذ 2 years55:23

55:23

Guess who didn't set a calendar reminder to release their podcast? I think this one is pretty good. I got about halfway through and didn't hear anything weird so fingers crossed! We recorded this one in person in the condo

Umpire Pants

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Episode 256: I got two oh words 56:16

منذ 2 years56:16

56:16

Sloppy start; Oh Word?; dive bars; gelato; Puerto Viejo update; street music; concerts; disastrous Readers Digest quiz; AI writing sucks; quilts are underrated; hot dog pizza; Umpire Pants Out

Umpire Pants

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255: Trip reports 56:44

منذ 2 years56:44

56:44

Episode 255: Trip Reports I remembered to name the episode! Our trips to Costa Rica and Las Vegas; Mary gets very mad at us for interrupting her story (Bill mostly); we "ended" the episode early; <>; old folks homes and casinos; more Las Vegas; mom was a little mad we went to Vegas without her; best parts of Vegas; Shawn Kemp update; Bill needs a deadline; Bill lied about releasing this on the same day; Bill is not a fan of Al Franken; watch Sherlock Jr.; Umpire Pants Out…

Umpire Pants

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254 56:46

منذ 2 years56:46

56:46

Surprise again! We reorded this about a month ago and I have neglected to upload it the whole time. Whoops! But I did learn something--I don't do anything if I don't have a deadline. Just kidding I already knew that. The deadline in this case is we started recording again so now I have 3 episodes piling up. I have no idea what we talked about because I didn't listen to it so hopefully nothing bad! We'll get back on an every other week schedule soon.…

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Episode 253: House Dressing 59:58

منذ 2 years59:58

59:58

Surprise! A new episode! Bill here. I'm in charge of editing and publishing so from now on the podcast will be late and full of Mary's lip smacking. Rant and rave/skeletons/driver's ed/bully sticks/bean bag chairs/Lethbridge fashion/house dressing/PSA: cars are dangerous/everything is getting worse update/Redmond is a small town/I don't know what the buttons do/Empire Pants Out…

Umpire Pants

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Episode 252: It's Fine, it's not Great 46:04

منذ 2 years46:04

46:04

An old lady and two cool young people is back, baby! Which famous trio do we line up with? Bill has a Toe Update (not the pee toe, the other toe). Mary is fresh off her 70th birthday party. We're off Twitter. Beloved Robin Williams, Popeye, and joke stealing. Bill saw Three Days of the Condor. Jon Candy is the best. New Segment: Bustin' Mom's Balls! Mary is afraid to use her toaster oven knobs. We won't become a video podcast. Bill thinks William Shatner is a good actor. Ice Cream Truck of the Week: Reboot (the show) and people being happy to see stranger's dogs. Umpire Pants Out!…

Umpire Pants

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Episode 251.2: Halloween 2021 1:16:06

منذ 3 years1:16:06

1:16:06

It's a re-run of our Halloween Episode! We have some new ones coming, so don't fret, folks! HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

Umpire Pants

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Episode 251: Blazing Some 420 Bones 44:45

منذ 3 years44:45

44:45

Bill wasn't willing to drive over an hour to record with us in person, but we're back! THIS IS STILL OFFICIALLY A PODCAST! We're doing two-times a month eps now, folks. Bill's Ice Cream Truck of the Week: Detroiters. Shout out to our Canadian listeners! Have you heard the fake English Italian song? Mary is afraid of carwashes, but nothing else. Bill loved the Elvis movie, even though he just said biopics are hokey. Rod Stewart talk. Bat report: Got a bat. Our Botan Rice candy tattoos. Kelley's Hint List! How to clean after broiling meat. Drapery Rules. Rules for new down pillows. Umpire Pants Out!…

Umpire Pants

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Episode 250: Snack Cats 49:53

منذ 3 years49:53

49:53

Sorry for the long wait, but we’re back! Sort of. This was recorded while Kelley was out on vacation and she just finally posted it. We’ll be back-back soon. Hi to the Canadians! Bill’s family is at Comicon and costumes are discussed. Mary doesn’t like most vampire movies, and The Dayshift is no exception. Our dad is here, too! Bill watched the George Carlin and Gary Shandling documentaries on HBO. Bill’s Ice Cream Truck of the Week: Larry Sanders show. (Kelley did the Oh Word drop, guys, but she’s flattered it was called out as Nigel-quality.) Mary and Russel had a wild trip to Portland, including a near death choking experience, a car break-in, and a confrontation the family does not condone. Mary eats baking chocolate? WTF. Russel is here to talk about ice cream toppings (start with Costco’s Super Premium ice cream) and general Costco talk ensues. Kelley’s Hint List! Use a butter bucket to make a stool! Stitch through a blotter after oiling your sewing machine to pick up leftover oil. Remove dirt patches on your floor with a turpentine rag. Umpire Pants Out!…

Umpire Pants

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Episode 249: I Ate Some Old Beans Today 44:36

منذ 3 years44:36

44:36

Bill is on the phone and we talk about The Twits right off the bat. The Stupid’s books were great. The Godfather and Deer Hunter movies are mixed up in Kelley’s head. Kelley recommends Claws one final time as a “good bad show.” Bill recommends Banshee as another over the top show. Kelley has a New Wives Tale: You can freeze fresh guacamole!!! Mary ate some rotten beans and might die. We used to have a potato drawer. Mary was very briefly cut off from baked beans. If Bill dies, it’s from a cat scratch. Toe update from Bill. Bill’s Timely Movie Review: Dirty Dancing edition. Kelley’s Hint List! Slipcover fabric hints. Cover holes with patches. Use ammonia on your chandeliers. Umpire Pants Out!…

Umpire Pants

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Episode 248: RERUN ALERT!: Episode 204: It’s Medium Boy Summer 40:30

منذ 3 years40:30

40:30

We're having a heat wave and Bill's hotdog toe isn't making him want to travel to Seattle, so we're taking a week off. Here is an episode from one year ago. We'll be back soon, folks! Love you! XOXO Kelley

Umpire Pants

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Episode 248: Always Eat Bowling Meat 40:01

منذ 3 years40:01

40:01

Bill is calling in with a serious toe injury. !!!SKIP AHEAD to MINUTE FIVE (5:00) IF YOU’RE SQUIMISH!!! Mary hurt her back putting on pants and Kelley buzzed her head. What are we watching? Stranger Things; Only Murders in the Building; Obi Wan Kenobi (SPOILER ALRT – Obi Wan – I have no idea if Bill was joking about this being a spoiler – KJ). The stinger animals have beef with Mary – why? Herman got scared of a spider, and Bill remembers an old baby spider story. Costa Rican creatures. Mary’s Reviews of Cooking Recipes! Non-listener Meaghan submitted this week’s bowling meat recipe. Mary’s rude to service workers still. Wing doors seem like a bad idea when you’re lifting kids out of backseats. Kelley’s Hint List: Wrap your mop in a bag to shake it if you can’t go outside. Remove grease with soap and French chalk (AKA Tailor’s Chalk). Don’t wash away your linoleum. Umpire Pants Out!…

Umpire Pants

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Episode 247: I Don’t Wanna Counteract the Tomato 42:37

منذ 3 years42:37

42:37

Oh boy, I haven’t even started listening, but I know this one got super sloppy as the second of an outdoor double-header. The Mariners are getting fun, so we’re going to a game. Old racists don’t like baseball to be fun. Bill thinks people are secretly drinking a lot more. Reviews of Cooking Recipes! Lasagna. We talk sugar in tomato sauce. It’s Mary’s Anniversary, and she reveals she gets in a fight every day! Congratulations to 52 years of daily fights and not getting a divorce. The Green Giants – The Hulk and The Jolly Green. Toby McGuire love. Ice Cream Truck of the Week: Bill recommends The White Darkness. Trader Joe’s all have bad parking lots. Max is doing jokey stuff. Raccoons and crows teaming up could mean trouble. We’re gonna let animals take over for awhile. Reviews of Cooking Recipes! Baked potatoes. Bill has a good archiving project to see what regular people look like during different eras and places. Colbert Question: What song would you choose if you had to listen to one for the rest of your life? Kelley’s Hint List! Clean and save your bacon rind. Select dress patterns according to bust and hips. Sharpen your sewing machine needles with a wet stone. Wipe your sweeper brushes occasionally. Umpire Pants Out!…

Umpire Pants

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Episode 246: Is that What I Say? 39:03

منذ 3 years39:03

39:03

It’s a live outside recording today! We’re at Bill’s and he’s fresh off some serious R&R (Hawaii and Ween). Ice Cream Truck of the Week: Vape pens. Kelley has weird self imposed cheapskate rules. Biopics are all hokey! Mary watched RRR and she liked it…A LOT! What time of day should Kelley watch this long ass movie? Kelley again recommends Russion Doll with Natasha Lyonne. And the time travel movie Primer comes up again as a recommendation, along with Time Crimes. And Outlander. Fanny Packs are back! We talk about Ross and the show starts to fall apart. Bill had a great security guard experience at Ween. A Ross Schaefer joke that Bill can’t forget. Mary has a story about chips, and a customer service nightmare experience. We can’t stop talking about local stores (I actually for real cut some out today, Nutballs). Bill is hooked on TJ Hooker. Bill is getting into the Phoney Call-y podcast. Kelley’s Hint List! Remove white spots on shellacked floors. Clean your plaster décor with starch and water. We read a complicated Damask and dirndl and salt bag hint. The plastic situation is a losing battle. Seattle Pride Parade recap – Mary still loves Dykes on Bikes. Kelley had a rare opportunity where riding the monorail made sense. Umpire Pants Out!…

Umpire Pants

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Episode 245: Why’s it Called Craps? 42:00

منذ 3 years42:00

42:00

It’s the second episode of a Double Header, but it’s early and Saturday so we’re not too worried. City fast food vs. suburban fast food. Acres of Clams is a gross tagline. Mary gives a cat update. Bill has to deal with Unemployment Fraud again. Mary got a bonus at the casino, but it sounds like the dealers are struggling. Max the Dog wants to stay in bed all morning. Lack of empathy in society. We steal another Colbert Question: Have you ever asked a famous person for an autograph? Kelley found out Mr. Rogers does all the puppet voices when she saw him live! Mary reads the intro to Kelley’s Hint List! Don’t strangle your heating system. Use 5x the fabric for recovering your chair. Oil the motor on your electric mixer. Umpire Pants Out!…

Umpire Pants

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Episode 244: No Because they’re All Floppy 36:01

منذ 3 years36:01

36:01

Sorry, I’m not doing great, don’t have my shit together and have fallen down completely on releasing these on time, and I probably won’t ever get there again. This podcast is doomed and we all know it. Fuck the Patriarchy. Enjoy! We’ve had a shitty spring and no one should have lawns. Mary is moving to Cleveland. Bill finished RRR and gives it two thumbs up. New Wives Tale: Burt Reynolds Edition. We try to clear up a childhood mystery regarding nudy pics grandma had in her apartment. Who is in the painting Kelley has by her front door? Being bad neighbors. Colbert Question: Favorite Action Movie? Kelley’s Hint List: Using and painting putty. Run hot water before emptying dishwater. Umpire Pants Out!…

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Episode 243: Everything Doesn’t Suck, I Got a New Watch 50:53

منذ 3 years50:53

50:53

We’re back, baby! We have an Ice Cream Truck of the Week right up top! The Phony Call-y show, a podcast Kelley has been enjoying. Bill went to his Spanish speaking neighbor’s house for the first time! Mary found out about online sports gambling and we’re worried about this development. Mary was mean to the aquarium lady. Mary has a new waffle recipe. We have no sympathy for your June Gloom LA. Mary got a new watch at Costco and we trick her into a shopping spree. Kelley and Bill used to share a bong. Mary had a dream about Kelley getting an amazing tattoo. Watches and Formula 1. Mary is a fan of the stance Gabe Kapler, the SF Giants Skipper took about gun violence, so she bought a hat. We make Mary mad but she’s not in a bad mood. Kelley’s hint list. Keep smoke joints tight with asbestos cement. Replacing your window pulley strings. Bill recommends Magic Erasers. Herman is making crackers. Umpire Pants Out!…

Umpire Pants

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Episode 242: I Have an Oven Mitt, I Have a Spatula 42:07

منذ 3 years42:07

42:07

It’s mid-May movie talk! Mary brings a list of movies she likes and the variety is astounding. Rant and Rave: Spicy food strikes again. Kelley has some walking around stories. Mary was impressed by a guy’s purchase at Goodwill. Greenhouse prank or earthquake? We steal another Colbert Question: What happens when you die. Mary would hate Coffin Flop, even though it’s so good (everyone watch I Think You Should Leave on Netflix!) Is not having a toaster like not having a purse? Kelley’s Hint List! Redo your awnings with awning paint. Use a seltzer bottle for a fire extinguisher. Steaming a velvet coat. Umpire Pants Out!…

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Episode 241: Big Dog Big Problems 52:57

منذ 3 years52:57

52:57

Happy Mother’s Day to all who celebrate. It’s been cold, but spring is springing. Kelley was in Canada recently, enjoying their legal weed, and eating lots of dessert. Mary got a free room at a Casino and doesn’t understand how other people are spending so much gambling. Is astrology being more popular a bad omen? Kelley tried to pay for some tiny peppers recently and it was a whole thing. Purse thefts. Mary rates her cats and they’re not making the honor roll. We steal the Colbert Questions again. We get an air fryer update. Kelley’s Hint List! Set your thermostat to 70, not 75. Umpire Pants Hard Out!…

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Episode 240: There’s always the Lure of Dick’s 46:15

منذ 3 years46:15

46:15

We’re back with Bill on the phone. Have you heard the limited edition episode, No. 238? Listen before we take it down. We talk about squirrels and raccoons and Kelley has to bring up an upsetting baby rabbit antidote for some reason. Bill tries to explain a vaporizer to Mary. We tell some stories of asshole geese. Mary went to the Smith Tower bar and recommends it but the elevator might be dicey. Ice Cream Truck of the Week: Mariners Baseball and Claws the TV show. Shit List of the Week: Annoying Baseball Fans. Mary got a jury summons but it seem nothing came of it. Kelley’s Hint List! Adjusting the water heater temperature. Sharpen scissors by cutting sandpaper with them. Mending a wire screen. Umpire Ass Out!…

Umpire Pants

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Episode 139.1: Rerun Episode 192: We’ll Have to Destroy This Episode, so Nobody Finds Out Our Plan 1:00:37

منذ 3 years1:00:37

1:00:37

Sorry for the re-run, folks! We'll be back soon with fresh new episodes, but enjoy this one from a year ago this week!

Umpire Pants

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Episode 239: Mom Had to Go to the Doctor She Had the Willies So Bad 1:07:09

منذ 3 years1:07:09

1:07:09

Was it a good idea to record at 11:30pm in a hotel room in Gresham, Oregon? No! Did we redeem ourselves by recording at 10:00am the next day? Not really! We’re recording on Easter, and generally have good holidays in our family. Shout out to our youngest listener, and a quick chat about kids books. We discuss our food choices over the weekend. Please visit WOOD VILLAGE BURRITO SHOP if you’re ever in the Troutdale area of Oregon. We have some new weed accessories. We have some GET OUT SPOILERS so skip ahead if you’re years behind like us. Ira Levin books and movies. What horror movies do we like? Vegetarian burgers and hot vegetarian food. Mary has beef with The Doughboys podcast, because the Veggie Grill mac and cheese is spicy. The insane housing market. What the hell - Mary buys water now? Umpire Pants Out! And Umpire Pants back in, baby! Stay tuned for the last 20 minutes where we get super sloppy. Another review of Get Out? Should Mary and Bill start a movie podcast? We do one hint from Kelley’s Hint List then end this shit-show. Umpire Pants Out!…

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Episode 238: It’s Exciting Times in Toaster Town 50:01

منذ 3 years50:01

50:01

We’re not sure what the DJ truck is all about, but it’s back and we love it. Bill’s an old man yelling at guys in parking lots. Rock tumbling update. Kelley’s bad a domestic stuff, but she found some sunglasses that can stand up to her funny business. You can watch full Letterman eps on Youtube. Mary claims she invented roasted asparagus. We have a bit of PeeWee Herman talk. We’re right on time talking about The Slap. Mary watched Cruella for the costumes after the Oscars. Ice Cream Truck of the Week: Summer of Soul and Top of the Lake. We answer some of the Colbert questions, and shockingly, Bill and Mary pick the same favorite sandwich. Mary made paper with seeds in it! Bill has a parking cone and he’s prepared to use it. Everyone read about the Sankebetsu Brown Bear Incident. Mary describes a Trailer Park Boys episode, but you should just watch it. Kelley’s Hint List! Tin utensil tips. Don’t shake your toaster too much. Get cream out of clothes with the usual methods. Mary recounts a childhood memory of breaking into a found briefcase with neighborhood kids. Umpire Pants Out!…

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Episode 237: Bingo Bilbo 46:24

منذ 3 years46:24

46:24

We’re in person again! But Bill is grumpy because there was no parking in Seattle. We explain what a bell-end is to our mom, using hand drawn pictures. Mary has a foot injury and a dubious home remedy. Mary is furious at another server. Bill’s gout corner. Nextdoor update and unfounded fear. Kelley had an offseason Seafair Pirate sighting. We contemplate the 24 Hours of Lemons race. Kelley steals Mary’s segment: Reviews of Cooking Recipes! Kelley’s Hint List Tips for oiling your piano. Nail paper to your window screens before storing them for winter. Use old net curtains to make scrubbing clothes for dishwashing. We have a DJ Truck Sighting during our recording! Why can’t Bill open coffee bags? Umpire Pants Out!…

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Episode 236: I Don’t Let Furnace Guys Touch my Furnace 44:31

منذ 3 years44:31

44:31

Episode 236: I Don’t Let Furnace Guys Touch my Furnace by Umpire Pants

Umpire Pants

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Episode 235: Kelley’s Gonna Use the Hotdog Method on ‘Em 40:31

منذ 3 years40:31

40:31

Bill’s calling in from the Podcast Shed, but he’s fresh of a Sparks show and feeling good. Kelley and Mary are about to go to Jackie Kashian at the Crocodile. The podcast gets interrupted by a mouse, so Kelley disappears for a minute, but what an opportunity to tell some mouse stories! Rant and Rave – Can we guess the one Mary wrote? As always, yes we can. Ice Cream Truck of the Week: Tulips! Rest in Peace to local Seattle sports broadcasting great John Clayton. The Seattle Aquarium is The Bomb, according to Mary. Should we got to the Maldives? What about Malta? We do three more questions from a Reader’s Digest quiz. Kelley’s Hint List! The first one was about boilers or something. Use alum to mend broken dishes. Umpire Pants Out!…

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يقوم برنامج مشغل أف أم بمسح الويب للحصول على بودكاست عالية الجودة لتستمتع بها الآن. إنه أفضل تطبيق بودكاست ويعمل على أجهزة اندرويد والأيفون والويب. قم بالتسجيل لمزامنة الاشتراكات عبر الأجهزة.

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Umpire Pants explicit

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