Quack quack quack quack quack. Quack. Don't share, and do not enjoy.بقلم Iszi Lawrence & Simon Dunn

Would a spy rather eat a Twix on a stakeout, or suck a stick of Rock? Do not share, and do not enjoy.بقلم Iszi Lawrence & Simon Dunn

Not the show, the station itself, just to be clear. Do not share, and do not enjoy.بقلم Iszi Lawrence & Simon Dunn

What would you do if a lawyer asked you why you'd filled your cowboy hat with chocolate buttons? Do not share, and do not enjoy.بقلم Iszi Lawrence & Simon Dunn

We don't go where you'd expect when we work out the opposite of a beaver. Honest. It's much worse. Do not share, and do not enjoy.بقلم Iszi Lawrence & Simon Dunn

It's all food based this week, as we work out the opposite of Cadfael, Sweet And Sour, and salami. Do not share, and do not enjoy.بقلم Iszi Lawrence & Simon Dunn

What's the opposite of Eldorado? What even is Eldorado? Squeeze your stress balls, listen to the hummingbird sing, and find out. But do not share, and do not enjoy.بقلم Iszi Lawrence & Simon Dunn

Use your eyes, tickle the truth free, and hum the theme tune. Or just work out the opposite of those things instead. Do no share, and do not enjoy.بقلم Iszi Lawrence & Simon Dunn

This is the news. Or at least the opposite of some of the element of the news - all in a special themed edition of the most pointless of podcasts. Do no share, and do not enjoy.بقلم Iszi Lawrence & Simon Dunn

Fill a sick bag. Shoot an arrow at it. Post it all on Twitter. Orrrrrr ... just work out the opposite of it all instead. That's much more fun. Do not share. And do not enjoy.بقلم Iszi Lawrence & Simon Dunn

Why are you dipping that Sherbert Lemon in your posset? WTF? I mean, what's the opposite of that anyway? Do not share, and do not enjoy.بقلم Iszi Lawrence & Simon Dunn

Parumpahpumpum and all that. Let's work out the festive opposites of stuffing, baubles, and the very meaning of Christmas itself. Do not share, and do not enjoy.بقلم Iszi Lawrence & Simon Dunn

We're going to the country, gonna eat a lot of ... well, nectarines. While we read the phone book. And do something else with gas. Breathe maybe. Or at least, the opposite of all that anyway. Do not share, and certainly do not enjoy.بقلم Iszi Lawrence & Simon Dunn

I mean, who pets a poodle, while flossing and doing Wordle? No-one. That's who. But there are people who will take their time to work out the opposite of those things. Those people are us. Do not share, and do not enjoy.بقلم Iszi Lawrence & Simon Dunn

You're reading Miss Marple, under the shade of the leaves, when you hear the chirrup of your notifications. You check your phone, and you see there's a new episode of this podcast, wherein we work out the opposite of all those things. Do you share? Do you enjoy?بقلم Iszi Lawrence & Simon Dunn

Ever eaten Baba Ghanoush while brushing a panda? Of course not, that would be ludicrous. So, what's the opposite of all that? Find out, in your ears. Do no share, and do not enjoy.بقلم Iszi Lawrence & Simon Dunn

It all gets even more silly than normal this week, as we work out the opposite of a toaster, the opposite of a noise, and the opposite of Ghostbusters. Do not share, and do not enjoy.بقلم Iszi Lawrence & Simon Dunn

This week we work out the opposite of an ambulance, the opposite of an avalanche, and the opposite of a dashboard. Do not share, and do not enjoy.بقلم Iszi Lawrence & Simon Dunn

Would you rather have a mini Blackberry, or a mini View-Master? Or would you prefer to know the opposite of all those things? Do not share, and please do no enjoy.بقلم Iszi Lawrence & Simon Dunn

You can use your lucky chapstick in the laundrette or when you play roulette, but you can't do both. But you can work out the opposite of those three things. Do not share, and do not enjoy.بقلم Iszi Lawrence & Simon Dunn

Eating a hamburger in New York, and washing it down with a swig of Dr Pepper - or, something that's the opposite of all that anyway. Don't share, and don't enjoy.بقلم Iszi Lawrence & Simon Dunn

It's too hot to do anything else other than work out the opposite of Chess, the opposite of a tennis ball, and the opposite of a Dinosaur Egg. Do not share. And do not enjoy.بقلم Iszi Lawrence & Simon Dunn

A lone emu runs through the rain, in search of cherries. It doesn't. That's not even poetic. Instead, let's work out the opposite of those things. Do not share, and certainly do not enjoy.بقلم Iszi Lawrence & Simon Dunn

What would happen if you hit Mars in the lips with a pineapple? That's a daft question. Better to spend our time working out the opposite of those three things instead. Do not share, and certainly do not enjoy.بقلم Iszi Lawrence & Simon Dunn

Would a red panda ever curse a space shuttle? Less importantly, what's the opposite of these three random things? Don't share, and definitely don't enjoy.بقلم Iszi Lawrence & Simon Dunn

Time's a ticking, the ice is melting in the frozen daiquiri, and the telephone just won't stop ringing. It's time to forget all that, and instead work out the exact opposite. Don't share, and certainly do not enjoy.بقلم Iszi Lawrence & Simon Dunn

Have you ever been tractor fishing in the bath? Or course not, that would be daft. As would trying to figure out the opposite of those things. A pointless folly. So don't listen, don't share, and certainly don't enjoy.بقلم Iszi Lawrence & Simon Dunn

This week we work out the opposite of a robin, of raisins, and of shadow puppets. Don't share, and don't enjoy.بقلم Iszi Lawrence & Simon Dunn

Could you summon an orangutan by clicking your fingers, and then feed it Revels? We wouldn't recommend it, so instead we suggest you listen to us working out the opposite of those things. Don't share, and certainly don't enjoy.بقلم Iszi Lawrence & Simon Dunn

Could a squirrel live in a hedge eating just Dreamies? Who knows? Who cares? We're here to work out the opposite of those things. Don't share. Don't enjoy.بقلم Iszi Lawrence & Simon Dunn

Apologies for our lack of attendance recently, we've got a note from our Dad. But we're back now, working out the opposite of a Topic, the opposite of a sitcom, and the opposite of a belt. Don't share. Don't enjoy.بقلم Iszi Lawrence & Simon Dunn

Big Brother is watching. So hide all your cockneys, and brush your teeth. What? No, let's just work out the opposite of those three things instead. Do not share, and certainly do not enjoy.بقلم Iszi Lawrence & Simon Dunn

It's a sunny day. You're idly checking your email as you sup on a cool Gin and Tonic, with a purring cat sat on your lap. But what's the opposite of all that? Don't share, don't enjoy.بقلم Iszi Lawrence & Simon Dunn

Which would you rather eat on The Tube? A Lancashire Hot Pot or some French Fries? More importantly, what's the opposite of all those things? Well, that's what we're here to find out. Don't share. Don't enjoy.بقلم Iszi Lawrence & Simon Dunn

You're walking down a footpath, enjoying the delectable taste of a penaut butter cup, wondering if you left the saw on at home. But what's the opposite of that? That's the question. Don't share, and don't enjoy.بقلم Iszi Lawrence & Simon Dunn

Can you imagine Father Brown, eating a cupckae, whilst clutching an umbrella? Now, can you imagine the opposite of that image? Well, there's no need, because that's what we're here for. Don't share. Don't enjoy.بقلم Iszi Lawrence & Simon Dunn

These episode titles are starting to sound like what3words map references. Anyway, this week we work out the opposite of ham, the opposite of a well, and the opposite of a judge. Don't share. Don't enjoy.بقلم Iszi Lawrence & Simon Dunn

Would you eat a dinosaur chicken nugget with a screwdriver? Or a hedgehog? Both would be good for skewering them and picking them up. But, more importantly, what's the opposite of those things? Don't share. Don't enjoy.بقلم Iszi Lawrence & Simon Dunn

The new year brings new things to work out the opposite of. Thus, we sink our teeth into a juicy tomato, take a trip on a submarine, and make sure to take our vitamins. Don't share, and don't enjoy.بقلم Iszi Lawrence & Simon Dunn

Time to slather some cranberry sauce all over our Toblerones, and sit beneath the mistletoe and wait for our kisses. Or, don't do that, just listen to two idiots work out the opposite of those things instead. Don't share, and don't enjoy.بقلم Iszi Lawrence & Simon Dunn

Would you rather Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer was brandishing a gun or some bamboo? Or would you rather listen to two (well, one and half) idiots work out the opposite of those three things instead? Don't share, and definitely don't enjoy.بقلم Iszi Lawrence & Simon Dunn

Never, under any circumstance, scoop mayonnaise into a mail bag using the cat spoon. I mean, that's just common sense. But what's the opposite of that? Only one way to find out. Don't share, and don't enjoy.بقلم Iszi Lawrence & Simon Dunn

Park up the van, lay out a picnic, finish it off with a slice of Black Forest Gateau, and wash it all down with a nice cold glass of orange juice. Or don't. Do the opposite of all that. It's more fun. Or is it?بقلم Iszi Lawrence & Simon Dunn

Wherein we discover through the art of stupidity what may well be the opposite of a butterfly, the opposite of a car showroom, and the opposite of a bucket. Don't share, and don't enjoy.بقلم Iszi Lawrence & Simon Dunn

Ah look, a bee hovering over a noise daisy. But what's the opposite of that? Only one way to find out. Don't share, and certainly don't enjoy.بقلم Iszi Lawrence & Simon Dunn

Hang up the phone. Check for spiders. And know your onions. It's time to work out the opposite of these things. Don't share. And don't enjoy. But do vote for Iszi in this book prize please.بقلم Iszi Lawrence & Simon Dunn

Time to don our baseball caps and roll the dice, then work out the opposite of a library. But first, we need to work out how to pronounce the word library. Don't share, and certainly don't enjoy.بقلم Iszi Lawrence & Simon Dunn

We probably should stop recording these when we're hungry. This week, we work out the opposite of Jelly Babies, of a cat's tail, and of a 99 ice cream. Don't share. Don't enjoy.بقلم Iszi Lawrence & Simon Dunn

Never eat a biscuit while riding a motorbike to a salad bar. Instead, work out the opposite of those three things, and talk bollocks about them for twenty minutes. Don't share. Don't enjoy.بقلم Iszi Lawrence & Simon Dunn

Bowled out for one whilst eating a Snickers. It's a terrible way to go in Cricket, but at least it tastes nice. Which is more than can be said for the opposite of all that. But what is the opposite of all that? Don't share. Don't enjoy.بقلم Iszi Lawrence & Simon Dunn