Ruth Reymundo Mandel عمومي
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These podcasts are a reflection of Ruth & David’s ongoing conversations, which are both intimate and professional and touch on complex topics like how systems fail victims and children, how victims experience those systems, and how children are impacted by those failures. Their discussions delve into how society views masculinity and violence and how intersectionalities such as cultural beliefs, religious beliefs and unique vulnerabilities impact how we respond to abuse and violence. These f ...
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show series
 
Send us a text 📝 In this thought-provoking episode, we explore the nuanced intersection of father engagement and domestic abuse-informed practice with Chris Brown, President of the National Fatherhood Initiative (NFI). Our conversation examines how we can thoughtfully promote father involvement while maintaining high standards for men as parents, d…
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Send us a text 🔄 Transforming Professional Standards Join us from São Miguel, Azores, Ruth's paternal ancestral home, as we challenge conventional metrics of professionalism and explore how institutional practices, mandates, best practices often reinforce dangerous barriers between professionals and survivors of domestic abuse. We examine what true…
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Send us a text In this episode, David & Ruth speak about the Myth of the Domestic Violence Incident chapter David's recently published book: "Stop Blaming Mothers and Ignoring Fathers: How to Transform The Way We Keep Children Safe From Domestic Violence." They discuss how an isolated incident lens: Focuses systems interventions & professional resp…
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Send us a text The recently published groundbreaking, population-based study of child maltreatment in Australia found exposure to domestic violence is the most common form of maltreatment (39.6%). In this interview with Professor Daryl Higgins, one of the studies’ chief investigators, David and Ruth discuss the domestic violence specific results in…
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Send us a text Partnering with survivors is a sacred act. Listening to survivors, hearing their stories, and working with them as equals is uplifting for practitioners and their clients. In this episode of Partnered With a Survivor, David and Ruth speak with Beth Ann Morhardt, one of the first domestic violence consultants trained in the Safe & Tog…
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Send us a text In this episode of Partnered with A Survivor, David & Ruth have an intimate discussion about how we can be emotionally & behaviorally responsible even when we have been trained into fear & reactivity through violence & abuse. David and Ruth discuss: How we need to drop binary definitions in order to prevent abusers from using their h…
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Send us a text Discover the hard truths about the impact of domestic violence on children, as we, David and Ruth Reymundo Mandel, discuss the "Myth of the Child Witness" chapter from David's book "Stop Blaming Mothers and Ignoring Fathers: How to transform the way we keep children safe from domestic violence." We promise you'll come away with a dee…
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Send us a text In this episode, Ruth and David start with a round up of their March 2024 Safe & Together trip to Australia and New Zealand with highlights from the 7th annual Safe & Together Asia Pacific conference with it's focus on work with First Nation peoples, feedback from podcast listeners, and an update on how the Model is transforming the …
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Send us a text Both men and women can be violent and controlling. In this episode of Partnered with a Survivor, Ruth and David speak with international expert Lisa Young Larance about her research and clinical practice related to women’s use of force in intimate relationships. In the conversation, Lisa highlights the importance of context and inter…
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Send us a text Sexual and domestic violence in the military challenges recruitment, retention, team cohesion, operational readiness, security and organizational health. Yet, most militaries around the world are still struggling to effectively address these problems. Gaps in the response harm military families, and allow the destruction of the caree…
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Send us a text Historically research hasn’t always involved or benefited the population being studied. Dr. Elizabeth Dalgarno, the Director, and Founder of the SHERA Research Group is staunch advocate of research that is undertaken by and with the people it concerns rather than “on” them. In this far-ranging interview, Ruth, David, and Dr Dalgarno …
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Send us a text Domestic violence represent 27% of workplace violent events 1 in 5 victims take time off from work due to abuse 20% of victims of domestic abuse had taken off month or more in prior year 56% arrived late at least 5x/month 53% missed at least 3 days of work/month 65% of companies do not have domestic violence policy (SHRM) These stati…
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Send us a text Are children domestic violence victims in their own right? Are they co-victims with the adult survivor? What is the relationship between the child and the adult survivors’ experiences How do we hold domestic violence perpetrators accountable in their role as parents? How do we consider the child’s relationship to the perpetrator in d…
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Send us a text The problem of dating violence and coercive control among young people has been sorely overlooked, and educational resources are hard to find...until now! In order make coercive control visible to youth & to fill a gap in professional education materials & intervention strategies for young people, we have partnered with the revolutio…
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Send us a text In this episode, Ruth & David speak with Lisa & Jack Bulman of Mibbinbah Spirit Healing about their work in community to facilitate healing from intergenerational trauma, support healthy relationship connections and strengthen the wellbeing of Aboriginal & Torres Strait Islander men and families. Mibbinbah uses a “whole of communitie…
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Send us a text In this episode, David & Ruth talk about why the Safe & Together Institute focuses on survivor protective capacities and some of the research behind this approach. While assessments of harm and risk, and trauma frameworks are important, these approaches highlight danger and pathologies. But these approaches, while necessary, are not …
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Send us a text Survivors, who are professionals, can live in fear that if they share their experience in the workplace, they will be dismissed and disregarded. In this episode, Ruth & David speak with Nneka Mcgregor, founder & Executive Director of WomenattheentrE, about the need to transform our systems so that professionals who are survivors, can…
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Send us a text There are few intervention programs for fathers who use violence as part of their parenting. In this episode, David & Ruth take a deep dive into the work that needs to happen with violent fathers with Dr. Katreena Scott, the co-creator of the Caring Dads program. In this interview, David Ruth and Katreena speak about The importance o…
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Send us a text Professionals working in domestic violence and related fields are not immune from being abused by their partner. In fact, their role as a domestic violence or related professional can create some unique vulnerabilities that perpetrators are willing and able to exploit as part of their efforts at control. In another episode in the ser…
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Send us a text Strangulation attempts are a common element of domestic violence perpetrators’ patterns of behaviors. Non-fatal strangulation has long been identified as a risk factor for domestic violence homicide. Less attention has been paid to the short, medium and long term effects of non-fatal strangulation on survivor functioning and well-bei…
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Send us a text Listening to the voice of lived experience experts, AKA survivors of all forms of abuse and neglect, is becoming more and more a part of the domestic violence-informed professional landscape. At the same time, self-disclosure, in professional spaces, of being an abuse survivor can be a fraught for some practitioners. It can be associ…
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Send us a text Working with domestic violence means professionals come into contact daily with complex & challenging trauma. Beyond the complexity involved with working toward the safety of the family, working with domestic violence survivors often confronts professionals with their own prior experiences of abuse and trauma. Partnering with survivo…
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Send us a text When we think about domestic violence only in terms of what is added - violence and danger - instead of what is taken away (safety, self determination, quality of life), we fail at naming some of the most profound effects of domestic violence perpetrators’ behaviors on survivors. In this episode, David & Ruth talk about what survivor…
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Send us a text Toxic Trio. Triple Play. Trifecta. All over the globe, professionals working with families have shorthand jargon that reflects the prevalence of the complex mixture of issues that many families experience. Unfortunately these phrases do not usually enhance the ability to partner with survivors or intervene with perpetrators. In this …
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Send us a text Conversations about domestic violence often start from a victim blaming perspective: “Why doesn’t she leave?” or “Why does she keep choosing him over children?” or “I can’t trust her to understand the impact on children. She has a trauma history.” These victim blaming statements interfere with partnering with survivors and holding pe…
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Send us a text With upsetting frequency, the news will report a story of a child murdered by their mother’s partner. Sometimes this murder happens in the context of separation. Other times it is part of perpetrators' overall pattern of violence toward multiple family members. Unfortunately, dramatic homicides only tell part of the story. There are …
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Send us a text In this episode, David & Ruth discuss with Dr. Emma Katz in her new book, “Coercive Control in Children’s and Mother’s Lives.” Dr. Katz shares the story behind the development of this groundbreaking book, where she shares her learnings from interviews with 15 groups of mothers and their children. In this far ranging conversation, Dav…
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Send us a text In this episode, David & Ruth continue their series on reproductive coercion as part of the cycle of intimate partner violence with an interview with Dr. Heather McCauley from the Michigan Consortium on Gender Based Violence MSU. Dr. McCauley discusses the newest research on reproductive coercion, the correlations to intimate partner…
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Send us a text Too often conversations about domestic violence define survivors as passive trauma survivors with the emphasis on the negative mental health and addiction consequences of the perpetrators' patterns of behavior. And while these impacts are real they only tell part of the story. On a daily basis, survivors engage in small and large act…
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Send us a text In this episode David & Ruth go 'myth busting!" Like any effort to promote change, there can be misconceptions of what the Safe & Together Model does or is about. The Safe & Together Model is not immune to this mischaracterizations. In their conversations, David & Ruth tackle the following 7 mistaken perceptions of the Safe & Togethe…
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Send us a text In this short, special bonus episode, Ruth interviews Celine Donovan, a Safe & Together Model Certified Trainer, working for Tatauko Mai, the only Safe & Together Institute Partner Agency in Aotearoa (New Zealand). Ruth caught up with Celine in coffee shop in Christchurch. They spoke about about how the Model has changed her practice…
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Send us a text In this final installment of the minisode series on worker safety and well-being, Ruth and David discuss the importance best practice around the question of practitioners own fears about the safety of the family. Anyone who has worked with domestic violence cases has felt fear and worry for the safety of the adult and child survivors…
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Send us a text Reproductive coercion is part of a perpetrator's pattern of coercive control and is a common and powerful tool that is used to entrap & control victims using pregnancy & children. Forcing women to become pregnant & maintain a pregnancy has long term implications for women & children's lives. Not only do adult survivors suffer the con…
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Send us a text In this fifth installment of the minisode series on worker safety and well-being, Ruth and David discuss the prevalence of histories of abuse amongst professionals and how agencies can proactively shape their human resources, training and supervision to this reality. One of the main takeaways from this episode is that having staff wh…
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Send us a text Have you ever seen survivors’ mental health or substance use issues turned against them by a domestic violence perpetrator? Have you been concerned about a domestic violence survivor’s treatment being sabotaged by an abusive partner? In this podcast, David Mandel, Executive Director and Founder of the Safe & Together Institute and Ru…
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Send us a text (Apologies the sound quality of this episode is slightly less than we'd like.) In their opening episode of Season 3, Partnered with a Survivor co-hosts , David Mandel & Ruth Stearns Mandel, interview international journalist Grant Wyeth. Grant Wyeth is a researcher at the Asia Institute, University of Melbourne, and a columnist for t…
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Send us a text Ask Graham Goulden about the Bystander Approach to violence prevention, he’ll talk to you about being a “moral rebel.” “Moral rebels” intervene to stop violence when others standby. “Moral rebels” act when others walk away. Graham, a former Scottish police officer and Chief Investigator specializing in criminal investigation, drug in…
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Send us a text In this fourth installment of the multi-part minisode series on worker safety and well-being, Ruth and David explore when workers are being targeted by their own perpetrator, and the implications for the workplace. In a just over 20 minutes , David & Ruth discuss: David's history with worker personal disclosures about their own victi…
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Send us a text In this third installment of the multi-part minisode series on worker safety and well-being, Ruth and David explore the connection between worker safety and victim blaming. In a just over 15 minutes , David & Ruth discuss: How a lack of knowledge of how fathers' choices impact families and engagement skills with men hamper work with …
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Send us a text In this second installment of the multi-part minisode series on worker safety and well-being, Ruth and David explore the important topic of workers being targeted by domestic violence perpetrators. In a few minutes , David & Ruth discuss different ways workers are targeted including: Manipulation, intimidation and bullying Threats of…
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Send us a text In the kickoff of their first ever minisode series, David & Ruth will introduce the theme of worker safety and well-being in the context of working on issues related to domestic violence. The goal of the series is to address the critical issues of worker safety and well-being as a critical aspect of domestic violence informed systems…
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Send us a text Many professionals mistakenly believe that concerns related to domestic violence evaporate once a relationship is over. Survivors know differently. Their experiences help us understand the ways that domestic violence perpetrators’ patterns of behaviors extend beyond the relationship. In this episode, Ruth and David explore the nature…
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Send us a text Phrases like "child witness to violence" or "children exposed to violence" only capture a small slice of how domestic violence perpetrators' behaviors harm children. Assessment frameworks based on these concepts primarily emphasize the traumatic impact of the direct witnessing of acts of physical violence . Coercive control teaches u…
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Send us a text Intervening with perpetrators, who are the source of the harm to child, partner and family functioning, is essential for domestic violence-informed systems. In this episode, David & Ruth talk about the third principle of the Safe & Together Model which focuses on intervening with the perpetrator to reduce risk and harm to children. T…
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Send us a text In this episode, Ruth and David yarn with Ashlee Donohue – a proud Dunghutti woman born and raised in Kempsey, NSW. Ashlee is an Author, Educator, Advocate and speaker around the anti-violence message. Ashlee is currently the CEO of Mudgin-Gal Aboriginal Corporation – Women’s Centre, which is for Aboriginal women run by Aboriginal wo…
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Send us a text For men's violence against women to end, men need to talk to other men about change and responsibility. At the same time, many men who are abusive, have often experienced their own traumas at the hands of their parents or society at large. An emerging voice in the effort to invite men to healing is Matt Brown, co-creator with his wif…
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Send us a text Building on the Safe & Together Institute's white paper on perpetrators' manipulate of systems (and the related podcast) and work with the national Family Court of Australia, David & Ruth take a closer look at how domestic violence perpetrators can continue to undermine child safety and well-being post-separation, manipulate systems …
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Send us a text Crafting a domestic violence-informed response to the unique experience of Black domestic violence survivors in the United States requires listening to the voices and lived experience of those survivors. Like other marginalized survivors in systems impacted by racism and colonization across the globe, Black women have to navigate sys…
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Send us a text For 15 years, the Safe & Together Model has trained professionals in the importance of centering coercive controlling patterns of behaviors if you want to understand the harm domestic abuse perpetrators create for their children & how that is parenting choice. Failures to link coercive control to child abuse & neglect make it easier …
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Send us a text The discussion of relationship between histories of trauma and the perpetration of abuse is often fraught. Many people are worried, as has happened over and over again, that any consideration of the trauma histories of perpetrators will become an excuse for violence. Others advocate for the need for a more holistic approach, especial…
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