Each week this podcast talks about some aspect of personal relationships. Phil and Maude believe that conflict-free relationships are possible for everyone, and talk about how they achieve that between them.
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A Different Approach to Differences in Relationships
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5:55PHIL: I have been talking about differences a great deal recently, and that is because it seems to me that differences are the source of friction between people, whether it’s what movie to watch or where to live. Maude and … A Different Approach to Differences in Relationships Read More »بقلم Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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Why Being Positive is so Powerful in Relationships and in the World
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8:59MAUDE: Phil and I recently got back from two weeks driving through the parks and scenic roads of southern Utah. It was a transformational journey in several ways. One occurred when we stopped at a roadside attraction, or at least … Why Being Positive is so Powerful in Relationships and in the World Read More »…
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Base Your Relationships On Connection Not Competition
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3:57PHIL: Several lifetimes ago, I shared a house with about a dozen other people. We had a budget and took turns cooking. There were issues like when to clean, what standard of cleanliness, whether contributions should be income-related, and how … Base Your Relationships On Connection Not Competition Read More »…
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The Power of Seeing and Being Seen in Your Relationships
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5:42PHIL: Feeling seen by someone is a wonderful experience. We (most of us, anyway) cover up our interior self to get along in society, and as a result, lose touch with exactly who we are. To have our desires, uncertainties, … The Power of Seeing and Being Seen in Your Relationships Read More »بقلم Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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The Balance Between Self-Reflection and Connection in Relationships
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3:04MAUDE: Phil and I often write about how important it is to your relationships to get to know yourself and the truths that reflect who you are right now. We have emphasized the need for self-reflection so that you can … The Balance Between Self-Reflection and Connection in Relationships Read More »بقلم Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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R-E-S-P-E-C-T Is One of the Factors of Peace in Relationships
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6:05PHIL: I respect Maude in two different senses of the word. One is that I have great respect for her abilities, her skills, especially the ones I don’t have. (Perhaps it is only the ones I don’t have; perhaps we … R-E-S-P-E-C-T Is One of the Factors of Peace in Relationships Read More »بقلم Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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How to Recognize and Bring Peace Into Your Relationships
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5:45PHIL: One challenge in talking about peace is that it is thought of as an absence, a cessation, a lack of activity, as in “the peace of the dead.” I would rather describe it as a state of being. I … How to Recognize and Bring Peace Into Your Relationships Read More »بقلم Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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Connection is the Heart of Peace-filled Relationships
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4:52MAUDE: Phil and I recently visited with a dear friend at her home for a scrumptious dinner. The dinner wasn’t the only thing that was delectable that evening. We had a powerful experience of our connection. Through the many hours … Connection is the Heart of Peace-filled Relationships Read More »بقلم Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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How To Deal With The Bumps You Encounter In Your Relationships
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6:28MAUDE: The path toward peaceful relationships is not filled with continuous agreement or having the same point of view on all things; at least, it doesn’t always appear to be. More often there are places along the way where you … How To Deal With The Bumps You Encounter In Your Relationships Read More »…
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How Relationships are Your Path Toward Growth
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5:24MAUDE: As I continue on this year’s adventure of spending intimate time with those with whom I have deep relationships, I keep learning more about myself. This has been one of the unexpected and profound realizations as I experience these … How Relationships are Your Path Toward Growth Read More »بقلم Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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MAUDE: As many of you are aware, I have embarked on an adventure for this next year, birthday to birthday, of spending quality time with each of my closest relationships. (See this previous post.) Doesn’t really matter what we do, … How to Keep Your Relationships Alive Read More »بقلم Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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How to Find Peaceful Solutions Without Giving Anything Up
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5:52After last week’s post, There’s Only One Side in Peaceful Relationships—the Same Side, we thought we’d follow up with a few pages from one of our books. It fascinates us that our themes are so steadfast, but at the same … How to Find Peaceful Solutions Without Giving Anything Up Read More »بقلم Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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There’s Only One Side in Peaceful Relationships—the Same Side
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6:24MAUDE: I was reading a note from Anna Drabik, one of my favorite relationship writers on Substack, about compromise. We had an exchange on the topic, which led Phil and me to revisit this subject and share what we feel … There’s Only One Side in Peaceful Relationships—the Same Side Read More »بقلم Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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For Peaceful Relationships, Share Your Opinions But Don’t Be Opinionated
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2:58Maude is away with a friend on one of those adventures she described last week (hence the photo), so I’m here writing solo. The other night, as we were settling in for our evening’s entertainment, I said what I wanted … For Peaceful Relationships, Share Your Opinions But Don’t Be Opinionated Read More »…
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Do You Give Enough Time and Attention to Your Close Relationships?
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3:42I’m coming up on a big birthday, and it has invoked lots of thoughts of what I want to emphasize this coming year of my life. And, no surprise for those of you who know me and follow us, I … Do You Give Enough Time and Attention to Your Close Relationships? Read More »بقلم Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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How to Cut Out Snippiness in Your Relationships
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7:34MAUDE: Phil and I have been reflecting on snippiness; both being snippy and being related to in a snippy way. The dictionary defines it as: “a manner of speaking or behaving that is curt, abrupt, and often rude or disrespectful. It … How to Cut Out Snippiness in Your Relationships Read More »بقلم Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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How Appreciation and Acknowledgment Open a Path to Peaceful Relationships
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4:59MAUDE: On the path toward peaceful relationships, there are two areas we want to explore today: appreciation and acknowledgment. Both of these can be mighty contributors toward peaceful and loving relating. I was at a birthday party today with a … How Appreciation and Acknowledgment Open a Path to Peaceful Relationships Read More »…
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How Does Mutuality Lead to Peaceful Relationships?
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7:03Hi, Phil and Maude here. Every week, we sit down and talk until we hit on a theme and jam on what we can say about it. Sometimes a dialogue best captures the essence of the conversation. PHIL: Mutuality is … How Does Mutuality Lead to Peaceful Relationships? Read More »بقلم Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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It’s Important to Treasure Each Person’s Uniqueness in Relationships
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5:19MAUDE: It is the unique quality of each person that can be the strength of a relationship, and yet it is often the great divider. Usually, when we write about uniqueness and its significance to peaceful relating, we discuss how … It’s Important to Treasure Each Person’s Uniqueness in Relationships Read More »…
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Why Honesty is so Important in Creating Peace in Your Relationships
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5:26MAUDE: One of the cornerstones of deep and peaceful relationships is honesty. The ability to practice this within a relationship comes from a level of true acceptance of each other and the consequent trust that develops. This leads to a … Why Honesty is so Important in Creating Peace in Your Relationships Read More »…
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Why Knowing Your Values is so Important for all Your Relationships
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5:55MAUDE: I’ve been thinking a lot about my deep relationships with friends, family, and my partner, Phil. What makes those relationships so full of support for my own personal growth, comfort, wisdom, laughter, and relaxation? What brings me the most … Why Knowing Your Values is so Important for all Your Relationships Read More »…
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The Art of Undefended Love — How to Create Truly Peaceful Relationships
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5:02PHIL: Our approach to writing about peaceful relationships is that we very much write about how we are rather than saying what you should do. We don’t know what you need to change to get here, but we know what … The Art of Undefended Love — How to Create Truly Peaceful Relationships Read More »بقلم Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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How to See and Be Seen in Your Relationships
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4:46“O, wad some Pow’r the giftie gie us To see oursels as ithers see us!” Robert Burns PHIL: Maude met with someone from her past who reminisced about how he remembered her, and this blew Maude’s mind because her recollection … How to See and Be Seen in Your Relationships Read More »بقلم Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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Be Loving Today – You Can Be Right Tomorrow
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7:23PHIL: Maude posted a meme on Facebook: “Be loving today – you can be right tomorrow” that generated an unusually enthusiastic response. Why were people so taken with this attitude? Let’s first consider why we like to be right. We … Be Loving Today – You Can Be Right Tomorrow Read More »بقلم Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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What is Peace in a Relationship Actually Like?
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5:47PHIL: When we talk about peace with people who have not experienced it directly, they conceive of it as an absence. It has long been associated with death—the Latin, “Resquiescat in pace,” or R.I.P., stems from the eighth century. But … What is Peace in a Relationship Actually Like? Read More »بقلم Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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You Can’t Love If You’re Not There: Why Presence Matters
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5:03PHIL: It’s time to talk directly about being present. We have mentioned it recently when writing about other topics like listening, paying attention, and hanging out. But what does it involve? I have written elsewhere that we have a verbal … You Can’t Love If You’re Not There: Why Presence Matters Read More »…
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How Attentive Listening Strengthens Your Relationships
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6:07MAUDE: Pay attention! Listen! These seem like rather simple admonishments. And yet, so many of us find it very challenging to do so. Listening to others with an open heart and full attention seems to have become almost a lost … How Attentive Listening Strengthens Your Relationships Read More »بقلم Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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How Peaceful Relationships Create the Freedom to Be Yourself
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5:07MAUDE: Peaceful relationships are attractive. Once you have experienced the kind of deep calm and relaxation that such a connection provides, it is natural to want more. Developing these kinds of interactions through the many methods we outline in our … How Peaceful Relationships Create the Freedom to Be Yourself Read More »…
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Why Differences Don’t Need to Create Problems in Your Relationships
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3:39Here’s a conversation we had the other night about why differences aren’t a problem for us. They don’t need to be a problem for you, either. PHIL: Let me try and describe the nature of our relationship. I look at … Why Differences Don’t Need to Create Problems in Your Relationships Read More »بقلم Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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How Hanging Out Enhances and Strengthens Your Relationships
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3:27Maude, with a little assist from Phil, wrote today’s post. Phil and I have, since the very early days of our relationship, set aside a time every evening to be alone with each other. We do many different activities during … How Hanging Out Enhances and Strengthens Your Relationships Read More »بقلم Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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Why Respect is Important for Creating Peaceful Relationships
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5:29PHIL: Respect. Like many words, it has come to have several meanings. There is deference: you should respect your parents or pay your respects to someone. But in a relationship, it has a different meaning. When we started to talk … Why Respect is Important for Creating Peaceful Relationships Read More »…
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How to Find Joy, Peace and Inner Strength Through Your Relationships
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4:46When we write these posts, we sit down, talk together, then write separately. This offers you the same subject from two different perspectives with a certain amount of overlap. PHIL: We usually pick what to write about by looking at … How to Find Joy, Peace and Inner Strength Through Your Relationships Read More »…
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Why Peaceful Relationships Depend on What You Do and Don’t Do
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6:08MAUDE: It was recently our 20th anniversary of meeting (and a joyous celebration it was!), and Phil and I were talking about the components of our relationship and other deep relationships with friends and family. The flavor of those peaceful … Why Peaceful Relationships Depend on What You Do and Don’t Do Read More »…
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Why It’s Important to Relate to Community as Well as Individuals
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4:54MAUDE: Recently, Phil and I and another friend attended a gathering to listen to our government representatives talk about the current situation. It was held a few blocks from where we live, here in Santa Barbara, CA. As we walked … Why It’s Important to Relate to Community as Well as Individuals Read More »…
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Embracing Acceptance: How to Let Go of Annoyances in Relationships
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4:34MAUDE: Phil shared a thought last night: “Why get cross with anyone? You will only have to fix it later. It’s like knocking over a vase of flowers because you don’t like the arrangement. You’ll just have to mop up … Embracing Acceptance: How to Let Go of Annoyances in Relationships Read More »بقلم Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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Rely on Relationships to Stay Sane in an Insane World
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5:20MAUDE: In these challenging and turbulent times, it is important to fill your moments with presence; to be calmly, lovingly present. One of the best ways to do that is through your relationships. Stay connected; put extra attention and effort … Rely on Relationships to Stay Sane in an Insane World Read More »…
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Why Acknowledgment is Like a Magic Charm for Relationships
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4:21PHIL: We were talking about the role of acknowledgment in relationships. At basis, it’s a recognition that the other person exists. You are saying “I see you”, which is incredibly affirming. It’s more than saying “Oh, there you are”; it’s … Why Acknowledgment is Like a Magic Charm for Relationships Read More »…
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How to Let Conflicts Go Until You Can Talk Without Charge
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6:55Here’s a conversation we had that illustrates how you can connect without a negative charge on a topic that could be loaded. PHIL: I think this might be the perfect time to talk about something that happened a few days … How to Let Conflicts Go Until You Can Talk Without Charge Read More »بقلم Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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Pay Attention – It’s How to Best Support Each Other
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5:50MAUDE: Last week, Phil had a big birthday. I had been thinking of how to celebrate him for many months, and had made numerous suggestions to him for grandiose celebrations, parties and trips. He never responded with the least enthusiasm … Pay Attention – It’s How to Best Support Each Other Read More »…
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Just Talk to Each Other – It’s That Simple
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3:57PHIL: It may seem obvious; of course you talk to your partner. But lots of conversations are about the shopping or politics or how bad the traffic was, while there can be a whole interior monologue going on that never … Just Talk to Each Other – It’s That Simple Read More »بقلم Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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The Importance of Sharing Your Truth in Relationships
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5:52PHIL: I had an imaginary conversation in my head: “Tell the truth; it’s so much easier than lying.” “But people would say mean, nasty, hurtful things!” “Oh, just tell the truth, but not in a mean, nasty, hurtful way. Instead, … The Importance of Sharing Your Truth in Relationships Read More »بقلم Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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Let’s Create Peace in the World, One Relationship at a Time
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3:39PHIL: We have a peaceful relationship. We don’t quarrel, attack each other or act passive-aggressively. Magic, huh? We do this through trust, acceptance and choosing to live peacefully. Our values are aligned so we can always find a point of … Let’s Create Peace in the World, One Relationship at a Time Read More »…
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A True Connection Between People Brings Peace and Joy
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4:47PHIL: A few days ago, I had the sense that I wasn’t giving you enough attention; that I was wrapped up in myself and my thoughts and resented being disturbed and intruded on. I thought that that’s not a very … A True Connection Between People Brings Peace and Joy Read More »بقلم Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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Make Fairness a Foundation of All Your Relationships
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4:03When you practice fairness in your relationships, it is transforming. It is a quiet yet powerful type of assurance that acknowledges without words that you are always on the same side, wishing the best for each other, and knowing that it is mutual. Read more ›بقلم Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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How to Avoid Reacting With Blame and Anger in Your Relationships
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4:50MAUDE: We wrote a post last week about dealing with strong negative or difficult reactions to the decisions, actions and behaviors of others, most particularly those with whom you have deep relationships. We suggested turning inside and looking at your … How to Avoid Reacting With Blame and Anger in Your Relationships Read More »…
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How to Replace Blame With Honesty in Your Relationships
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5:35This week several things happened that illustrate an important aspect of experiencing peace within relationships. MAUDE: My older son and his wife just purchased a condo in Mammoth. They decided to celebrate that with the family and invited us all … How to Replace Blame With Honesty in Your Relationships Read More »…
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A New Way to Look at Differences in Relationships
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6:31Hi, Phil and Maude here. We had a conversation the other evening about a different way to respond to the variance between each of us. We like, recorded it on a phone and, um, kind of cleaned it up a … A New Way to Look at Differences in Relationships Read More »بقلم Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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How It’s Possible to Practice Acceptance in Your Relationships
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5:22MAUDE: One of the many things that happened this week was a visit from a very dear friend, who stayed with us for over a week. This visit was profound, yet simple and easy at the same time. It gave … How It’s Possible to Practice Acceptance in Your Relationships Read More »بقلم Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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How to Remove Tension and Find Peace in Your Relationships
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6:08PHIL: We had a couple of heart-to-heart conversations this week; one about desires on my part, and one about the desires of Maude. I don’t want to describe them because they both involved other people, and the point of mentioning … How to Remove Tension and Find Peace in Your Relationships Read More »…
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How to Embrace Differences, Not Trip Over Them
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6:19PHIL: I want to jam on the idea that all people are different. No one is exactly like anyone else. So in your relationships, especially the close ones, you’re going to run into differences. They’re inevitable. The fact that the … How to Embrace Differences, Not Trip Over Them Read More »بقلم Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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