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পতিতার পত্র (Patitar Patra)

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সুলোচনা ভদ্র ঘরের মেয়ে। বেশ্যার ঘরে তার জন্ম নয়। তার বাবা ছিলেন নামী ঊকিল এবং ব্রিটিশ ভারতের জননায়ক। দেশের স্বাধীনতা সংগ্রামে বিপ্লবীদের রসদ জোগাতেন। এ হেন সুলোচনার বিয়ে হয় সৎ মায়ের দেখে দেওয়া পাত্রে কিন্তু অকালবৈধব্যে তাকে আবার ফিরে আসতে হয়ে পিতৃগৃহে। বাবাতে আর মেয়েতে মিলে ঝাঁপিয়ে পড়লো দেশমাতৃকার শৃঙ্খলমোচনে। তারপর সুলোচনার জীবনে এলেন দুজন মহাপ্রাণ দেশনেতা, যাদের সান্নিধ্য পেতে চাইতো সে সর্বক্ষণ। এরপর সুলোচনার কাছে, দেশের স্বাধীনতার চাইতে বড় হয়ে ওঠে ঐ দুজন পুরুষকে কাছে পাবার বা ...
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Esto no es un podcast ... esto es la festividad chabacana a la diversidad en sí. Como seres humanos además de imperfectos, somos variados y condenados de por vida por la doble moralidad (imposible de complacer) que nos limita. Ya es tiempo de que se escuche todo lo que somos y tenemos que ofrecer como homo-sapiens: resaltando a otros , apoyando lo local, aprendiendo cosas nuevas, escuchando nuestras historias y aceptando cada una de nuestras facetas. Predomine en tí lo Cafretesxz o lo Fin@bi ...
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A lack of encouragement in childhood leaves a deep mark on us—it can impact our sense of self-worth, of safety, of resiliance—you name it. Sometimes it's easy to see that we weren't encouraged, but for many of us, we don't even realize that it's at the root of many of our struggles. In this episode, I welcome writer and therapist Solasta McIntyre b…
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There are so many ways to approach healing the mother wound, and what works for one person won't necessarily work for someone else. That's why I was SOOOO excited to have hilarious comedian, internet star, badass feminist, daily meditator, mental health advocate, and sweet baby angel Toni Nagy on the show to talk about what her process has looked l…
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Never heard of limerence? You know that feeling when you don't know if someone's into you, but you can't stop thinking about it, you get stuck in daydreams about them, and you're just waiting with bated breath for the next time they talk to you? It's that feeling of romantic obsession that keeps you stuck on people who don't reciprocate, and turns …
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Lucy writes in about being "discarded" by her ex-boyfriend who struggles with addiction. She wants to figure out why he's acting this way—she wants it to make sense. How do we navigate relationships like these? The contents of this podcast are provided for informational purposes only. None of the material presented is intended to be a substitute fo…
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It's not something you can slap a dinner party on and call it good. Chronic loneliness is often carried into adulthood from childhood—usually due to neglect. In this episode, I talk to psychotherapist Zara Neukom about how chronic loneliness starts, how it impacts our lives, and what it can look like to change from a lens of hyper self-reliance to …
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Many of us have been cheated on—but also, many of us had parents who cheated. In this episode, Robin writes in to share the trauma she experienced as a child around her dad's cheating, and the way it impacts her still as an adult. We talk about what our inner child needs in those moments, why our worthiness gets tanked when we're cheated on, and wh…
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You know that feeling of being in trouble that makes you want to throw up? sob? jump out of your skin? It's really common, but especially when you grew up around dysregulated adults or were abused as a kid. It's not just emotionally exhausting, it also sends your body into emergency mode and can cause all kinds of illnesses (!!!). In this episode, …
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After getting rejected from countless job interviews, Aaron started believing he was a failure, stuck in a rut that would never change. In this episode, we dig through the past to find and heal old beliefs, while looking for new ways of relating to the pain of rejection and lack of control. The contents of this podcast are provided for informationa…
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As a recovering people-pleaser, I can ONE HUNDRED PERCENT attest to the fact that we are motivated by fear. It's a survival tactic that tons of us learned to navigate abusive or chaotic childhoods. But the problem is that it doesn't end in childhood—we take people-pleasing into our friendships, our sex lives, our living situations, our professional…
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After her painful, messy divorce, Erika is isolating from her friends. She doesn't want to be a burden on them or fail in her role as the "reliable" one. Together, we process the underlying emotions of feeling unchosen, unwanted, and unworthy. The contents of this podcast are provided for informational purposes only. None of the material presented …
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We're back! My hiatus has come to an end, and I'm jumping back in with psychotherapist and certified grief specialist Courtney Carver to talk about resilience—my brain's least favorite activity! (Big fan of despair, loves it). We get into why it's so important, what it looks like, and how TF we do it. PS! There's a vulnerable moment in this epi tha…
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Just popping in to say what's up and give some updates. ALSO sharing some brief thoughts about everyone's favorite and least icky topic: shame. Feels like I left a long message into a friend's voicemail TBH—that's where we're at rn! More soon. x --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thepatraumaparty/support…
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She's taking a break! This is my final epi before I head out for a few months (back in March), and I'm leaving you with some thoughts on resilience for your new year. May you wear something slutty as the ball drops, and I'll see you in 2024. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thepatraumaparty/support…
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Ughhhh. Getting honest with ourselves about our abandonment wound can give us all the ick. But did you know that your abandonment wound is actually a super intelligent response to abuse? and that it actually means your system is operating exactly as it should? In this episode, I welcome somatic practitioner Veronica Rottman to the show to talk abou…
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Look. Our culture is bonkers when it comes to body image. There is no escaping the constant pressure to check a myriad of aesthetic-related boxes (thin, tall, young, blah blah blah), and it can feel like we can't really start our lives until we've [*insert prerequisite to living life here: lost 10 lbs, gotten clear skin, had a facelift, etc. etc.*]…
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"Narratives of Influence: The Trifecta of Storytelling, Belief Systems, and Science"In this dynamic episode, we unravel the threads connecting the power of storytelling, belief systems, and the realm of science. Join us as we explore the profound impact narratives have on shaping our perspectives, influencing belief systems, and intersecting with s…
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Life Unplugged: A Fresh Perspective on Our Latest EpisodeIn this episode, we're hitting pause and taking a deep dive into the essence of existence with our theme, "Paraphrasing Life." Join the conversation as we unpack the various facets of life—its twists, turns, and unexpected gems. We'll be sharing personal reflections, engaging stories, and tho…
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In today's world, self-awareness is like a compass guiding us through the complexities of life. Knowing ourselves intimately enables better decision-making, healthier relationships, and personal growth. It's the key to understanding our motivations, managing stress, and adapting to change. In a fast-paced and interconnected society, self-awareness …
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"Cracking the Code of Today's Relationships"Hey there! 🎙️ In this episode, we're digging deep into why relationships nowadays sometimes feel like solving a puzzle. We'll chat about how our crazy busy lives, changing expectations, and personal growth journeys are throwing in unexpected twists. Join us for some real talk on the conditions that sneak …
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Anyone else find themselves talking about men like they're a terrifying alien species? There's obviously a lot of cultural rhetoric around distrusting men ("men are dogs," "a good man is hard to find"), but even the quip is rooted in trauma. So when we're out there trying to heal from [*insert numerous possible traumas here: assault, betrayal, abus…
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Regret can absolutely take us down. It can diminish our resilience, hope, and faith in life. BUT—cool fact—it can also be a key tool in retrieving the parts of our authentic selves that we've lost along the way. In this episode, I welcome Renee Tate back to the pod to help us understand the ways we work through the pain of regret, and the ways we t…
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Here's my stance: Sometimes we just ARE victims. There's no way around it. But sometimes we're coming from a place of "victim" or powerlessness without even knowing it—it's just a loop leftover from childhood that's still going on repeat, and it has us showing up as if we don't have choices, as if we have no agency, as if people or the world is out…
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It's a big mamajama. The pain of not having a mother or caregiver who was present, tender, affectionate, wise, kind, warm—it becomes SUCH a pain source in our lives, seeping into our relationships, our ability to connect, our sense of self, our ability to open to abundance—you name it. In this episode, I welcome intuitive guide Bridget Nielsen to w…
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Ughhhhh there are so many ways we can feel stuck—stuck in jobs, stuck in relationships, stuck in a situation that won't just go TF away, or even stuck in our own compulsive behavior that we can't seem to get a grip on. Behind that is a such a deep sense of powerlessness, and for those of us who experienced chronic trauma, that powerlessness is seco…
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It's my 50th episode!!! [*Insert many emojis*] Thanks to everyone for coming along with me on this trauma ride—we out here healing! This week, I welcome clinical psychologist Dr. Lindsay O'Shea to the show to talk us through healing from trauma bonding in childhood and adult relationships—what those bonds look like, how they impact our mental healt…
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Thank you for your patience! So many listeners have requested this topic. In this episode, I welcome Patruama Party listener and trauma-informed health coach Brittanie Pope to talk to us about her trauma being raised in the church—from disassociation, to shame, to losing trust. I also welcome licensed marriage and family therapist Willow Katz to th…
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In this episode, I answer questions about situationships, chronic negative self-talk, and my favorite movie! A reminder that I am NOT a mental health professional and I don't have a mental health professional on this episode, so take what's helpful and leave the rest. The contents of this podcast are provided for informational purposes only. None o…
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সুলোচনার পিতৃগৃহে এখন আর আগের মতো বিপ্লবী নেতারা তেমন আসেনা। লক্ষ্মণও উপরতলার নির্দেশে ঠিকানা বদলাতে চায়। সুলোচনার সাজিয়ে নেওয়া নিজের পৃথিবীতে অন্ধকার নেমে আসে। সৎ মাকে সুলোচনা এখন আর ভয় পায় না। কিন্তু যে নতুন জীবনের নেশায় সে বুঁদ হয়েছিলো তা হারাতে হবে ভেবে সে আতঙ্কিত হয়ে পড়ে। এই সময়ই লক্ষ্মণ তাকে প্রস্তুত হতে বলে কোনরকম পিছুটান ছাড়া বাই…
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রাম এবং লক্ষ্মণ দুজনেই কি তবে প্রেমে পড়লেন সুলোচনার? সুলোচনা এখন অবশ্য শরীরে হোক বা মনে সে প্রেমে ভিজতে চায়, "যে আমাকে গ্রহণ করবে আমি তার হয়ে যাবো!" রামের প্রকৃতি সুলোচনার বড় পছন্দের কারণ রাম বেশ রসবোধ সম্পন্ন মানুষ লক্ষ্মণ ঠিক তার উল্টো, কঠিন চেহারা, রুক্ষ্ম ব্যবহার। এ হেন রাম যখন ব্রিটিশ পুলিশের ভ্যানে গ্রেফতার হয়ে চলে যেতে থাকে তখন সুলোচনাও…
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রাম এবং লক্ষ্মণ যখন সুলোচনার পিতৃগৃহে থাকছিলেন দেশের কাজে তখন তার বিরতির কোন শেষ ছিলো না। সৎ মা বিধবা সুলোচনাকে শাসনে আটকে রাখতে চাইতেন কিন্তু একদিন রাম বলে বসলেন, "বিধবা হবার দোষে কোন মেয়ের জাত যায় না"। সুলোচনার সর্বাঙ্গে বিদ্যুৎ খেলে যায়। বন্যা নামে সমস্ত শরীর জুড়ে যখন রাম বলে, " অন্দরমহলে যে এমন বৈচিত্র্য আছে জানলে সদরমহলে কখনো আসতুম না।" প্…
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সুলোচনার মৃত্যু ঘটে পতিতাপল্লীতে কঠিন ব্যাধিতে ভুগে। যার চিকিৎসা করতে গিয়ে ডাক্তারবাবু বলেছিলেন, "যন্ত্রণার উপশম করতে পারি, এর বেশি কিছু হবে না।" এহেন ডাক্তারবাবুকে মৃত্যু শয্যায় তার সবকিছু সে দিয়ে যায়। কিন্তু কেন? Stay Updated on our shows at audiopitara.com and follow us on Instagram and YouTube @audiopitara. Credits - Audio Pitara Team…
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Anyone else want to crawl into a hole when this topic comes up? It is SO vulnerable and SO painful to talk about the times we've had suicidal ideation, but it's actually pretty common, and if you suffer from CPTSD, it's even more common. In this episode, I welcome my dear friend and the founder of yoga and wellness platform Coincide, Courtney Higgi…
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Boundaries are literally THE life lesson. Like, if we learn nothing else before parting with this earth, let us learn what the hell healthy boundaries are and how the ef we uphold them. In this episode, I'm joined by consciousness guide Pam Curran to talk us through her take on healthy boundaries, why "You suck" is not a boundary (womp womp), and h…
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Turns out we all do it and turns out it's no buens. Not only does it make us feel like shit, but it also puts a huge strain on relationships. Not to mention the fact that sometimes taking something personally can lead us to deep depression and suicidal ideation. In this episode, I welcome marriage and family therapist Renee Tate back to the pod to …
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Cool fact: One time when I was like 16, I painted a girl looking terrified while someone covered her mouth with their hand so she couldn't speak. WHAT?? I'd forgotten about it completely until I was recently combing through old photos and was like: WOWWWWW THIS IS FUCKED. So many of us grew up feeling like we were invisible, powerless, and voiceles…
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We're not talkin' nostalgia, baby! Emotional flashbacks happen when we experienced ongoing abuse as children, and then we get a whiff of that experience as adults, (like, maybe you hear people yelling in the apartment next door or someone takes a long time to text you back (in the case of neglect or abandonment)) and suddenly our emotional state is…
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Emotional neglect! Just rolls off the tongue. It's a fun form of trauma that doesn't get the fanfare it deserves (all y'all out there searching CPTSD and anxious attachment style while emotional neglect is just over here alone in the corner ). But honestly—it's a tough topic to talk about because it's the *absence* of a thing. It's what *didn't* ha…
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DEEP BREATH. Let me just start by saying, I HATE the term "daddy issues." It's SO sexist and misogynistic that men abuse their daughters, and then women become the ones who are shamed for it. So if you're feeling stigmatized for struggling emotionally because of your relationship (or lack thereof) with your dad, please know that you can let go of t…
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Sigh. We've all done it. We do it all the time. We do it in our relationships, in our search for relationships, with body image, in our careers: "If only I had this thing, I'd be happy. I'd be okay." Such a fuckin bummer. In this issue, I'm joined by somatic therapist and NLP coach Michelle Keinan to get to the root of why we do this and what it lo…
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It already sucks to be broke, but for a lot of us, there's a lot more to money trauma than that. There's the feeling that you're not safe, the feeling that God or The Universe has abandoned you, the feeling of depression associated with money scarcity. In this episode, I welcome trauma psychologist and leadership coach Isha Vela to the show to talk…
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Hold up, wait a minute! [Insert Salt 'n Pepa rap] DO YOU KNOW ABOUT INTERMITTENT REINFORCEMENT??? It basically explains why we get stuck in relationships with people who treat us like human ball sacks! You guys. It's science. It's real. Lab rats were involved. And we HAVE to address it if we want to find relationships (romantic, platonic, professio…
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Turns out there's healthy guilt (like when you realize you need to apologize for something) and unhealthy guilt (like when your parents make you feel like shit for holding them accountable). When guilt is weaponized against us, especially as children, it can turn into shame, and shame can—and WILL—turn into a whole clusterfuck of mental health bumm…
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Literally how does anyone survive dating—it's truly the worst. And if you're insecurely attached, it's straight up a minefield of triggers waiting to take you down. Then there's the alternative: never dating anyone—also terrible!! In this episode, I welcome somatic psychotherapist and coach Felicia Keller Boyle (@the_bad_therapist) to get into peak…
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Mmmmm... that cool feeling that you're gonna claw someone's eyes out and smile while doing it. Jealousy sucks. It makes us feel powerless, and insecure, and it brings up all our shit. In this episode, I welcome licensed clinician Andrea Brognano to talk about why jealousy feels so shameful, what lies underneath it, and how we heal. The information …
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We're mixing things up! This week, I welcome the creator and host of the Other Men Need Help podcast, Mark Pagán, onto the show to join me in a conversation about the deep and enduring bummer that is toxic masculinity. We talk about objectification, shame, hyper-independence, the male ego—and get into what's helped us work through the pain points s…
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Truly, shocks should be illegal unless they involve large sums of money mysteriously appearing—NO FUCKING THANK YOU to shocking violence, betrayal, death, life transitions—the list goes on. In this episode, I welcome artist, therapist, and soft boi amateur poet Solasta McIntyre to the show to get into how shocks impact our mental health, the way sh…
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TRUST: WTFFFFFF. Like what? You can believe a person is 100% on your team while they just straight up lie to your face?? WHY DOES THIS GET TO BE AN OPTION?? In this episode, I'm joined by licensed professional counselor and CEO of Apple Tree Counseling LLC, Michelle Kauble, to talk about how betrayed trust impacts our mental health, what we do with…
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Turns out perfectionism can look all kinds of ways, including not doing anything because you won't be perfect at it! It's honestly a total mind fuck that keeps you in situations you don't like and exhausted from all the effort. (It will come as no surprise that perfectionists were pretty much always exposed to some kind of trauma early on.) In this…
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It should be easy, right? We just ask ourselves what we want or what we feel, and voila! But for a lot of us, that gauge got effed up somewhere along the way. So, after we've made a decision we regret, after we've become knee-jerk people pleasers, after we were gaslit for years and came to doubt our instincts, after parentification, narcissistic ab…
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