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Open Adoption Project

Lanette & Shaun Nelson

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This podcast is about connecting. It's about growing. It's about stretching. In society nowadays, it's easy to fall into echo chambers. This is not an echo chamber. Open Adoption Project is a community dedicated to listening and learning, and building relationships based on healthy respect and communication. The Open Adoption Project focuses on improving adoptee experiences by encouraging open communication between all members of the adoption constellation, nurturing ongoing open adoption re ...
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In this episode, Lanette and Alisha discuss establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries, both in open adoptions and when caring for children in foster care. We address some frequently asked questions regarding this subject, including how to create healthy communication patterns and how to mediate challenging situations.…
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There are two kinds of openness in adoption—structural and communicative. Both are important in supporting identity and development of adopted individuals, as supported by academic research. We discuss the differences between structural and communicative openness and tips for adoptive parents for practicing openness in a more adoptee-centered way. …
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Christelle Pellecuer returns to the podcast to discuss some tough questions and challenging aspects of adoption, particularly transracial and international adoption, in this episode. She discusses the importance of honesty and transparency in adoption. She also considers what potential impacts of a lack of structural and communication openness may …
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We have a new adoption openness guide, “The Openness Guide for Adoptive Parents: What You Should Know About Open Adoption,” which was released today. The message we often see in the adoption community is, "Open adoptions are good! Do them!" with little guidance on how to make it work. This guide and workbook bridges that gap and teaches adoptive pa…
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Cultivating and nurturing any relationship takes work and dedication. Relationships in open adoption are sometimes hard to maintain. In this episode, we discuss some questions we’re asked frequently regarding how to move forward in adoption relationships when things get complicated, and considerations when trying to choose a path forward. In partic…
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We wrap up National Adoption Month with a discussion about disenfranchised grief and some highlights and lessons learned during 100 episodes of the Open Adoption Project podcast (so far). Disenfranchised grief is grief that is not recognized as valid by society, and is prevalently experienced in the adoption community. We talk about how those who a…
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In this episode we introduce a discussion and questions regarding the similarities and differences between embryo adoption and traditional adoption. A guest couple shares their experience with embryo adoption. We share results from a small survey we posted on our instagram about embryo adoption, and discuss the section on embryo adoption from “The …
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Julie was adopted as an infant with her twin sister. In this episode she shares how medical issues pushed her to connect with her birth family nearly 50 years after being adopted. She writes extensively about finding out who you are, where you belong, and making sense of it. Julie’s debut memoir, “Twice a Daughter: A Search for Identity, Family, an…
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When we recently discussed orphan trains, one thing that stood out to us was that the policies and practices during this time were adoptive parent-focused. This problem persisted over time, like during the Baby Scoop Era. In this episode, we discuss why this focus on adopters is problematic, and actionable ways adoptive parents can shift the focus …
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In this National Adoption Awareness Month special, we hear adoptee Sara Odicio, LSW, of Core of Adoption. She talks about ruptured attachments. We then discuss some of Dr. Bruce D. Perry’s research on child attachment and development, and eight ways caretakers can help nurture children who struggle with secure attachments. We reference two articles…
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In this episode, foster care trainer Liz Rivera shares key takeaways from the book, What Happened to You?: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing by Oprah Winfrey and Dr. Bruce D. Perry. Her experience working at Utah Foster Care for more than 2 decades shines in this conversation about childhood trauma and finding peace and healing.…
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In this episode of our National Adoption Month series, our Director of Communications, Alisha Gallagher, interviews Anna Maria DiDio, an author and adoptive parent. Anna Maria shares her experience of realizing the importance of nurturing cultural connections and helping individuals who were adopted preserve their cultural identities.…
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This episode dives into the history of orphan trains in the United States. The orphan trains operated from 1854 through 1929, relocating from about 200,000 children. In this episode, we discuss the orphan train using accounts from a historical nonfiction book called “Orphan Train Rider” by Andrea Warren. This book primarily follows the memories of …
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Christelle was adopted at 10 year old from Madagascar to France after her mother passed away. She shares about her experience as a black adoptee growing up in a white community, about the challenges of being an International adoptee with very little knowledge about her story, and the cultural changes in her life. Learn more on her website christell…
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In this episode of our National Adoption Month series, we hear from Leah Outten, a birth mom who placed her daughter for adoption as a teenage mother, and maintained a very open adoption throughout her daughter’s childhood and on into adulthood.
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Doctor Abbie Goldberg is a professor at Clark University in Massachusetts. As a professor of psychology, her research regarding adoptive and diverse families, open adoption, transracial adoption, and foster care have immense importance in the adoption community. In this episode, she shares pieces of her extensive knowledge, including the importance…
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Stevoni Doyle and Aymee Condie are mothers connected initially through shared love for their children. In this episode, these strong women share their story, beginning with Stevoni’s children being cared for by Aymee. Over the years, they have built a beautiful family and strong friendship, where they support one another in their roles as mothers. …
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In this episode we hear from Robert Reese. Robert was adopted from South Korea as an infant, and was raised in the United States. When he was 16, he began searching for his birth mom. He shares what searching was like for him, and how his adoptive parents supported him in that endeavor. He also discusses racial and cultural mirrors and thoughts reg…
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In this episode, we hear from Professor Michael Grand, the father of the term “adoption constellation.” Professor Grand shares highlights from his academic career as a psychology professor in and researcher who spent years studying a myriad of aspects relating to adoption. He discusses his professional research and his personal experience as a step…
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Joanna Pace, a teacher and adoptive parent, shares lessons she’s learned about helping children set boundaries, and what led her to write the “Setting Boundaries” song with her musician husband and partner at Hopscotch Songs. She talks about how parents can help children advocate for their safety and why boundaries matter, both in the adoption worl…
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Adoptee Allison Olson, author of the children’s book “Surrounded by Love,” discusses the impact of the “lucky adoptee” narrative and adoptee wellness. The vast spectrum of what “open adoption” means and how openness impacts experiences across the adoption constellation are subjects Allison is well-versed in. She discusses the importance of adoptee …
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In this episode we hear from Eileen Skahill, an adoptee and academic who studies adoption. She shares her experiences and perspectives and also discusses a current research project she’s working on. Are you and adoptee that is interested in participating in Eileen's current research? If so, please contact her at eskahill@uccs.edu…
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Lauren Eisenhauer is a birth mom who placed her daughter for adoption 18 years ago, and maintained contact throughout her daughter’s childhood. She talks about her experience choosing adoption as a teenager, and what that looked like, including naming her daughter with the adoptive parents and making choices about what she wanted things to look lik…
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Patrick Hawes, an adoptee raised in a multicultural home, shares his experience being adopted as an infant and reuniting with his biological mom later in life. He shares different struggles that came with not talking about adoption in the home and the healing that came with finding his family. Sign up for our newsletter here, apply for free assista…
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In this episode, we discuss some of the complexities of adoptee reunion with Heather Rodriguez. Heather Rodriguez is an adoptee as well as a foster and adoptive parent. She shares raw experiences and emotions from her reunion experiences and her thoughts on adoptees’ need to connect with and understand their ancestry.…
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In this episode, we hear thoughts about searching for one’s biological family from five adoptees– Sara Odacio, John Saintignon, Amanda Justice, Devanie Roberts, and Amy Wilkerson– including thoughts on preparing for potential outcomes, support, self-care, and connecting. Devanie Roberts, an adoptee who we talked to on the show in March, is going to…
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Ellie Wynn was adopted at birth and reconnected with her biological family at 14 years old. In this episode, Ellie shares her personal experiences as an adoptee, the benefits of having an open adoption, and experiences to help the community better understand the nuances of open adoption.
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In this episode, we hear from Brady Murray of RODS Heroes, a nonprofit organization aspiring to give voices to children in foster homes and institutions in international countries. Brady and his wife Andrea became parents of a son with Down syndrome in 2007. Over the following months and years, they discovered what a blessing it is to experience li…
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Devanie grew up in a very open adoption during a time when open adoption was so rare that a Seattle news station flew into California, where she grew up, and did a special about her open adoption when she was a baby. While she grew up with a very open adoption and visited her biological mother and her side of the family, Devanie did not know her bi…
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Sara was adopted at birth during a time when open adoption was nearly unheard of, but she grew up in a very open adoption. In today’s episode, she shares her thoughts regarding her experiences, talking about many of the complexities of adoption and relationships. She talks about creating psychological safety for individuals to share their feelings …
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We continue our Adoption in the Media series in this episode, where foster parents Alisha and Shane lead a discussion of themes in the movie “Instant Family.” They answer questions from listeners regarding expectations and realities of being foster care providers, and discuss how supporting and continuing relationships with first families enriches …
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“Goodbye Again” author Candace Cahill shares her story of placing her son for adoption, reuniting with him 18 years later, and then tragically losing him again shortly after. She shares how she and the adoptive father of her son have grieved and supported each other together since her son’s passing, and how their relationship has supported them bot…
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What does open adoption look like in practice? What are some of the challenges for adoptees, biological, and adoptive family members in these relationships? How can parents (both adoptive and biological) build better relationships with and for their children? We include thoughts from adult adoptees who grew up in both open and closed adoptions.…
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If you’re new to our podcast, this is a great place to start! In this episode, we discuss what open adoption is, why it matters, and what we can do to build better open adoption relationships with the ultimate goal of empowering adoptees with a more complete portrait of their identity. We discuss answers to listener-submitted questions, like whethe…
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Coach John Saintignon shares his story and perspectives on the podcast this week. John is an adoptee who was born in Mexico and raised in Arizona. Basketball has been part of his life since he was a child. He was the leading scorer in country when playing college basketball, and went on to play professionally. He currently lives in Japan where he c…
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We are excited to introduce a new, special “Adoption in the Media” series on the podcast. In this episode we host a live discussion led by our friend, adoptee Melaina Rogers. We're starting the series off with a holiday-themed discussion, about the movie "Elf" and the portrayal of adoption in that film. Questions and themes discussed include submis…
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Chilean adoptee Amy Wilkerson, LCSW, shares her adoption story in this episode. Amy was adopted as an infant by a family in the United States, and, uniquely, was able to reconnect with her biological family as a teenager. She shares the struggles of balancing honoring and remembering culture in adoption, including her biological heritage as a Chile…
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This week we're excited to share another adoptee voice on the podcast. Amanda Justice, a Black adoptee, was adopted by a white family at three days old in a closed adoption. Amanda coaches adoptive families through transracial adoption scenarios and the importance of racial identity for adoptees in particular. Of adopting children of different race…
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In this episode, we hear from author and award-winning journalist Erika Hayasaki. Erika is a professor in the Literary Journalism Department at the University of California, Irvine. Five years ago, Erika learned about Isabella and Hà, identical twins who were born in 1998 in Nha Trang, Việt Nam, where their first mother struggled to care for them. …
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Dr. Christina Reese and Elaine Shenk share thoughts regarding transitioning into adulthood for adult adoptees. In this interview, the two share their advice for adoptees and adoptive parents as they discuss trauma and how to work through challenging transitions. Learn more in their new book, "Leveling Up: Adoptive Parents and Adult Adoptees: Taking…
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In this episode, we learn from a Peruvian indigenous adoptee. Maria Trimble is a licensed mental health counselor and a licensed professional counselor. In this interview, she talks about the trauma experienced by adoptees when transitioning into new cultures, languages, and families, and ways that therapy can bring healing and understanding during…
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Jamie Weiss shares some of her experiences as an adoptee in the 1970s, growing up in a closed adoption, never having conversations at home about adoption. She shares thoughts about her reunion experience and adoptee trauma. Jamie works with the Georgia Alliance for Adoptee Rights. You can also follow her adoption education efforts at signedsealedad…
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In this episode we discuss the history of different schools of thought regarding adoption language, including Positive Adoption Language and Honest Adoption Language. We also talk about following the adoptees’ leads and giving thought to circumstances. Words matter! Adoptive parents need to be cognizant of the preferred language of adoptees and bio…
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Sara, a Chinese-born adoptee who was raised in Pennsylvania, is now a social worker who coaches teenage adoptees. In this episode, she shares her story and how she came to work with adoptees. She shares thoughts and advice for the adoption community to better help listen to and validate adoptees, in particular adopted youth. Learn more about Sara's…
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