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If there’s one thing people love, according to itunes, it’s shows where best friends talk about bad movies. Since we’re worst enemies, we feel like we’ve identified a real gap in the market! Join us as we inflict horrible, horrible, horrible mistakes of cinema on each another. Who will snap first? Cami? Rosa? Our long suffering listeners? There's one way to find out.
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Yu-Gi-Oh! The Movie: Pyramid of Light
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It's been a while since an episode was a complete, unmitigated disaster from beginning to end. Hosts going through it, movie abysmal, audio files swallowed by dark gods. This month we inflicted Yu-Gi-Oh! The Movie: Pyramid of Light upon ourselves, for critical damage. If you know or care about Yu-Gi-Oh! you too will feel your life points drain as w…
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Welcome to the world of Tiny Don Cheadle, where only scoring a million points in super-basketball can facilitate his master plan to put LeBron James in Game of Thrones. Or Something. We watched Space Jam: A New Legacy and came away knowing less about the plot than before we went in. It's a lot like The Emoji Movie, but infinitely more embarrassing …
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😩⌚🎬⬅👩⚔💀 you get it it's the fucking emoji movie. god help us. PROGRAMMING NOTE: show notes and bonus clips will go up on Patreon next week, as Lee is out of town all weekend. In exchange, you get this episode a day early. Yippeeee! Featuring: soup wizard's poison stew, patrick stewart's third home, amazing deals on james corden, evil charger that d…
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!!!LOST MEDIA RECOVERED!!! This bonus full-length episode drop is as much a surprise to us as it is to you. After our CATS theatricular spectacular, we actually recorded another episode in September 2020. First, recording was delayed by [VARIOUS GLOBAL EVENTS]. Then editing was delayed by a computer failure. By the time the edit resumed, the entire…
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Once in a while, it does us good to check out a nutritious, homegrown independent movie. Something made with love, care, copious ambition, and a free copy of Blender. Something like Our Drawings - Princess Movie, better known as that thing with the beatboxing puppy. As fans of Dracula's Angel know, we will go to the mats for an incomprehensible pas…
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Riverdance: The Animated Adventure
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Did you think it was over? Did you think we were finished? Did you really, truly, honestly believe we have anything better to do with our time than bicker over certified rotten animated features? Foolish. Four years after Cats tried to put us in the ground, we are risen again like the good lord himself. For humanity's sins, we watched Riverdance: T…
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بقلم Murder-Suicide Matinee
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In accordance with MSM tradition (that is very on purpose and an intentional part of our brand, and NOT the whim of a chaotic universe), we present to you this year's Halloween-in-December pre-holiday spookfest: 2004's Spookley the Square Pumpkin! You may have heard of this lumpen mistake of nature recently from some other, much more popular podcas…
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I'm a little yellow fish in a deep blue sea - won't somebody save me? Oh yes we're revisiting the MILLENNIUM FISH MOVIE CRAZE that I bet you don't remember at all. With a completely inexplicable cast including Alan Paul, Aaron Rickman, Tabitha St. Germain and Terry Jones, Help! I'm A Fish is an inscrutable series of creative decisions that we were …
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Big Audio tried to shut us down, but you can't kill what already wants to die... That's right, Murder-Suicide Matinee is BACK for an absolutely arbitrary Season 2. After moving to opposite time zones and losing a full episode and a half of recordings, regular brained podcast hosts might give up. But not us, baby. We're bigger and better and gayer t…
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This episode gestated almost as long as a real baby! Join us for timely and topical new year humour, and sizzling hot takes on that one weird pro-life zootopia comic everyone's already forgotten about! Oh, we also talk about 2017's The Boss Baby - the movie with a definite article in the title that nobody acknowledges, made by adults who have a lot…
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Not a whole lot of jokes in this one folks; we fucking hated it. We watched Sausage Party and regretted every moment we were alive. WARNING: If you're sensitive to discussion of virulent racism, misogyny, homophobia, sexual assault, or pretty much any other form of casual bigotry that middle aged white comedians find hilarious and think they're exp…
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For our holiday episode this year we're wishing you all a late happy Hanukkah! And by 'happy' we mean we really hope you didn't watch Adam Sandler's Eight Crazy Nights! We had a miserable time! When will comedians just stop? Featuring: early shrimp, Salad Blandman, Cami should never do voices, and a perfect twelve year old boy PLUS: Our embarrassin…
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It's the episode absolutely nobody asked for -- we discuss The Smurfs 2 having never seen or even read a synopsis of the first one. Have you ever watched a kids' movie and thought 'man this would be way better if the child did nothing at all and the adults had the whole adventure'? Neither have we! Because it's actually worse! Featuring: more celeb…
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It's been a while, but the masochists are back -- and this episode we're going nutty over 2014's cranky animal heist movie The Nut Job. Sure, some people might have been over the fuzzy-animal-with-a-bad-attitude thing by the early 00s, and everyone was certainly over gangnam style by the end of 2012, but here's a movie bold enough to say nuts to th…
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Top of the season to you! Hot on the heels of halloween, it's the all singing no dancing Murder-Suicide Matinee christmas special! We're joined by Kelly Rockwell of Secret Story for a surprisingly erotic screening of the 1993 animated classic David Copperfield. It's just as Dickens envisioned it -- cheese monster, calypso beats and fantasy wild boa…
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Cosy on down under the blankets, throw another log on the fire, and prepare for some long winter night spookin's as we bring you the fabled...lost halloween episode. That's right, just in time for the holiday season we've managed to recover this special episode originally intended to air on October 31st -- before Rosa left her laptop on a train, an…
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Alpha and Omega 4: The Legend of the Saw Tooth Cave
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Hey, you see that explicit tag? Yeah, we're making full use of that this week. You probably don't want to listen to this episode at work or with the family, unless you are heir apparent to the bad dragon / deviantart empires. And if you are, please get in touch re: some kind of sponsorship deal. That's beause we watched Alpha and Omega 4: Legend of…
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Aladdin and the Adventure of All Time
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It's back to the tender embrace of inept 2D this episode, with Aladdin and the Adventure of All Time. No I did not leave out a word, that is the title of this movie that was inexplicably released in the year 2000 despite looking and sounding like an early 90s bargain bin. Today's lesson is all about learning to accept yourself by existentially rewr…
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What's this? A new episode? But it's only been a month and a half! Look, shut up and appreciate the agony we went through to bring you our analysis (analopsis) of Barnyard. Two days recording, three attempts to get all the right audio files on one computer. One surprisingly bigoted cow movie. In this episode: bad morals, every -ism you can imagine,…
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Happy Thursday everybody! One of the six best days of the week. We're celebrating with the 2004 Garfield movie, and enough alcohol to forget Jon Arbuckle's name halfway through the recording. Points for meditation include: the master of pez, CG Nick Offerman, judging supple dogs, Garfield in the Dutch dimension, and lots of whining about how hard c…
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This episode is a little late, because....well. Things happened. Things that took courage to publish. This week, we watched Minions. The only question now is: what will become of us? Movie: Minions (2015) Directors: Kyle Balda, Pierre Coffin Rating: up is down, black is white, war is peace Follow our tumblr (murdersuicidematinee.tumblr.com) and wat…
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With Cami out of town for work, Rosa's sibling Axe steps in to help come to grips with acclaimed Danny DeVito biopic My Little Pony: The Movie. Together we tackle the tough questions. Who is Danny DeVito? Did you know Danny DeVito owned a restaurant? What does Danny DeVito sound like? Why can't we stop saying Danny DeVito? highlights: Danny DeVito,…
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Sunshine Barry and the Disco Worms
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Listen to the life and willpower drain from our bodies in real-time as we subject ourselves to the surprisingly offensive Sunshine Barry and the Disco Worms. This is absolutely, without doubt, no competition, the worst experience we have had so far. The director, writer, and producers of this movie should be punished. At one point we wondered if we…
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With your hosts off gallivanting around on work trips, we're taking a week off from regular episodes -- but to tide you over, we have a special update on some of the things we've discussed previously. Highlights: Ambluminati confirmed; Cami is wrong, for neither the first or last time. Normal service resumes next week! As always, hit up the tumblr …
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We're Back! A Dinosaur's Story
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Join us this week as we watch a lumpy T-Rex play golf and scat about prehistory in radical New York City! It's 1993's We're Back! A Dinosaur's Story -- the movie with more plot beats in its title than it accomplishes in 72 minutes of screentime. We get really sad in this episode. Sad that this movie exists, sad that we watched it. Sad about John Go…
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This week's episode goes off the rails fast, as we attempt to decode the thoroughly incompetent 1988 animated adaptation of Les Miserables. An inspirational life story, time travel, interdimensional clones, blue jeans, poorly mixed cocktails and a mystery narrator come together to reveal truths about our universe we just weren't ready for. Oh, also…
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This week we take on Disney’s first ever full-CG feature with 2005′s Chicken Little. Why does this movie look so bad? How did they lure in so many big name voices? Was Oakey Oaks a cloning experiment gone wrong? Plus: Rosa explains baseball, and we all try to put Don Knottsgate behind us. Movie: Chicken Little (2005) Director: Mark Dindal Rating: f…
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Join us as we puzzle our way through the utterly soporific Agent F.O.X from 2014. Why don’t rabbits know what foxes are? What exactly was Buggy doing? Will we ever see anyone sit an exam? And what-…wh-…wh- whaa…whaat? Wha-huh? B-….wha? Wheat? Movie: Agent F.O.X (2014) Director: Ge Shuiying Rating: soporific intro and outro music: “Everyone in Town …
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